Kiss The Darkness

[ITawAPuddyKat]

I knew what I was getting myself into
sucking in its passion of lust inhaling the death tube.
The plague making my heart very vague
Christians don't want to see me like opposite of day.
it was the night when my mom wasn't home
working two jobs trying to shed light in this dark dome
sitting in the room with my best friend Karen
writing a poem-just unleashing my tight barren
emotions being bottled up, tired of being poor
and I'm getting irritated with the yelling next door.
Heard a lock unlatching, means momma is home,
rustle of a baggage-she went and got grocery
I smell foul booze, oh here comes the misery.
Faces on the wall and they see everything
while I can't, but hear the pain and suffering.
Karen looks up at my face, she see's the fear
like positive and negative attracts-she comes near.
Holds my arms thinking that I'm going to blow up,
my eyes ticking and ready to bomb those teary suds.
They're dishing it out, death is about to be served
or have left over with mom on the ground hurt.
Put my face on Karen shoulders-this is hard to bare
I'm naked for peace and I don’t have any clothes to wear.
Lightning hits the cords and shuts off the lights
then a thunder explodes through the illuminated night.
Foul odor sneaks up my nose and twinge my lungs,
wetness on my lips and my eye see's a tongue
it was Karen’s, mumbling- "Don't be scared"
and for the first time, I felt comfortable in my life, I swear.
It seems that all the problems of despair
has disappeared in the, non-tasteless and seeing, air.
We both got spooked, hearing the knob turning
lights came on, and my mom standing there
with a gun in her hand, smoke escaping as if its burning.
On that same night, I found something that I'll cherish
& never regret, I found peace and Love while I was being perished.
As the time went on, I’ve knew I kissed darkness
Cause my life is fucked, as a living carcass and god abortionist

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...58#post5178858
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...64#post5178864

[Got Soul? ©]

enjoyable. Im guessing this is what you PM'd me on the other site.
You allways amaze me with originality hun, I love your vocab and your pefect use of it.
Also this is a very personal peice, Stop thinking of karen!!!

Good drop.
get at me!

[Spoken]

They're dishing it out, death is about to be served
or have left over with mom on the ground hurt.
Put my face on Karen shoulders-this is hard to bare
I'm naked for peace and I don’t have any clothes to wear.
Lightning hits the cords and shuts off the lights
then a thunder explodes through the illuminated night.
Foul odor sneaks up my nose and twinge my lungs,
wetness on my lips and my eye see's a tongue
it was Karen’s, mumbling- "Don't be scared"
and for the first time, I felt comfortable in my life, I swear.
It seems that all the problems of despair

i anjoyed reading all of this...nice creativity...you had a good flow wit nice multies and mettas..this was fun reading..i undersanded it and you worded very well..i saw soom errors..but it wasnt nothing to throw you off...nice shit and keep it up....o and you had good vocab as well...good shit

[P. Mortuus]

This was good..took me down on a memory lane of past times...anyway back to the piece i liked the way you described and spoke out each line it gave a tupac-ish flow and really went propa with the emotions. Though there were one or 2 parts that irked me...one was an anomoly line and another was some words which didn't fit in as to say....

Heard a lock unlatching, means momma is home,
rustle of a baggage-she went and got grocery
I smell foul booze, oh here comes the misery.

The home just hung there like a lonely line...anyway the words that irked me were

has disappeared in the, non-tasteless and seeing, air.

They jsut didn't go with the whole mood or atmospehre of the piece and could have been changed but it don't matter. Anyway, the last point of this was the rhymescheme, though your way of wording the lines carried on keeping me interested you should juggle betweenschemes to. Lastly, this was a good piece as i could easily visualise it and it touched parts of past times. Overall, it was GanKsta GanKsta.

Honest vote on mine and Tims battle, if you can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310766

[ITawAPuddyKat]

Thanks you guys.......

[Brandon Heat]

Um... I already told you... so yea.

[ITawAPuddyKat]

Thanks...........

[niggerican]

Awesome. Good flow, basically it put me in the mood to keep reading on. The creativity was shining through. I enjoyed reading it and all, it was a good story in a way. As if you were acting out a novel or something? Meh, I can't find the right words lately. Anywayy, good peice, keep writing k?

[Tim]

nice read on the reals puddy you came deep and hard with this piece then you pulled a woot woot on us always like stuff that keeps the readers to there twos they are wanting one thing and given another so props on that.You had great emotion and nice metas which all made sence to me glad i got to read this and im happy your in are crew and back into the spirit of writing

[Bilayer]

favorite part
Heard a lock unlatching, means momma is home,
rustle of a baggage-she went and got grocery
I smell foul booze, oh here comes the misery.
Faces on the wall and they see everything
while I can't, but hear the pain and suffering.
Karen looks up at my face, she see's the fear
like positive and negative attracts-she comes near.
Holds my arms thinking that I'm going to blow up,
my eyes ticking and ready to bomb those teary suds.


i really enjoyed ur rhyme scheme imagery and how you put this piece together ma i enjoyed the read you were very descriptive your vocab flowed nice with this piece nicely it was really emotional and went for a really deep concept in this piece nicely put together puddy

sorry it took so long for me to feed on this piece