"box - in/out - think"

[Atti]

Check ins due Saturday, verses due monday
both at 11:59:59PM Central time

Topic: Opaque interference

1/9 list lost lives - repetition/motif:
cat - 9 lives ... hmmm, interference?
black mamba - archetypal reaper figure?

Life 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Where two front bumpers mangle in monogamy,
and radiators bleed across the street;
I'll be there shaking hands with pavement
while I wait for my self-insurance agent:

mamba introductory stanza:
make social commentary - mamba = geico gecko
... allude to geico - catch phrase parody

He's a talking mamba
who whispers ultimatums from under
the chuckle of social satire.

I'm hemoraging Mr. Mamba
Well than I have great news young man!
You're going to take me to the hospital?
No! I just bit your throat so soon you wont feel anything!

Oh ok Mr. Mamba, thank you for coming so quickly.

belittle event - dramatization of social acceptance;
ease into first hint of historical death.

The ambulence is leaving without me!
Oh well, better luck nex-
oh ... I'm dead.

slight name revision: diana - dianabel
creatively disguise clues further

Princess Dianabel 1961-1997

2nd life = oil tycoon/t. cullen davis
haha, no one's even going to get this one
... bed - "no more monkies jumpin' on the bed"
waterbed/oil-bed - 'one slipped- '

Life 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Phor brothers meta sister to jump on the oil-bed;
they held hands and bounced for hours.
Under Syriana the neon blonde
began to reach for the sun with feather candles:

continue reversed myth:
flip icarus complex - suraci
ha ... isn't that a chinese dish?

Complex suraci?

second mamba reference
geico allusion *suggest death related to oil:
ran - slipped - cartoon-like/bannana peel

Oh, oh my Mr. Mamba, what am I to do?
I've got great news!

third intro/break story - darken atmosphere
hold child-like/accepting tone

Life 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
The barrel of monkies and a porcelain smile;
cruise control: check.

hold my hea- pick up my- catch my!

Catch my brains jackie!

perfect.

(something based on JFK assination)

Life 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

(reff. allusion to Lincoln)

Life 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Life 6, 7, 8, 9

Google Search: famus assisinations

Did you mean: famous assassinations ?

Life 7, 8, 9

ya i clearly meant that ... condisending slut
hmmmmmmmm, topic change?
storyline to continental/9 variations/
assination from each - global conspiracy
... bleh, this is going to take forever

Life 8, 9

dammit! there's only 7 contents!?
shit ... what's laying around?

She was my jigsaw;
with a single, the slight of handed
met under the gaze of polychromatic
question mark.

Between saints and butchers,
she split hairs on the tortousis' shell
as the backdrop scrolled
from right to left.

Each and every spectrum
took up the stethascope,
and watched the account
from behind closed doors as we danced
in circles along the open window sill.


bleh, i can't use any of that,
well, maybe "between saint an-"
eh, that's not going to work at all

Life 9

9 - cloudnine - cloud eightn'ahalf? eh,
i've used that already.
big finale - end it in ... picture?
too used, did that last match @ soulstice.
9 kills - murder - serial murderer w/t 9 kills
... mamba as serial killer (nicknamed: black mamba)

Google Search: the black mamba murders

haha ya, like anything was really going to come up.
this is retarded, i cant even think right now
... when is this shit due anyways?

verses due monday
both at 11:59:59PM Central time

are you kidding me?
what the fuck laur, nice time frame
... way to bitter just cuz you got a first round knock out
haha.

All the saints graced the butcher
on the 9th cloud from disposition

damn ... i'm so hungery,
didn't mom get some bagel bites?

i'll just post what i have, fucking writers block
haha ... now there's an opaque interference pft

... wait a minute

["lil Neefy"]

Well atti as I said to you before.... this was completely confusing and amazing. I had to read it 2 maybe 3 times to understand what you were getting at... but it's simply amazing. The dialect mixed in with parts of a poem to act like you have writers block and mix it all together and have the dialect interfere with the actual poem... it's mad man brilliance =P

This piece was by far my favorite piece from you based alone on the creativity.

Great stuff atti. This is definately, DEFINATELY, the best piece dropped so far this month. Great shit dude.

[Atti]

ha, thanks for the feedback man.

[P. Mortuus]

WEll a snapshot of your thoughts there lol....it was good but confusing at times and certain places. I liked how you shoed that the writer is thinking of things and changeing them around to create an abstract plot. Thought i have to admit that when you started the assasinations one i didn't get the life 798 thing....if that's an american reference to something i don't know or maybe it's just you counting up. Why though was the person talking ot the snake idk, but the i just bit your throat line was good and then the character saying oh i'm dead reminded me of old cartoons hanging in mid air then realising thier in midair and falling. That was a good addition in my terms and so was the small section on Princess Diana plus the talk of cruise control. In the end your own thoughts took over which happens usuually when a writer is in writers block. Overall, it was a good piece, i though i preffered the another mute one more but this and that can't be compared accurately as it's written very well and the creativity in this is also very good.

Check, Nelson Mandel: A Biography" if you can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310423