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Thread: "Snowflakes For Confetti"

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    "Snowflakes For Confetti"

    "Snowflakes For Confetti"


    White falling onto white...
    ...softness touching softness



    To a blind man who used to see, the snow is a trigger…
    …An evocation of true beauty - His hope and his vigour.
    A carrier of memories, and sadness, as he looks back on his life…
    …His loss heightened by the clarity of his imagining eye.
    The senses crackle as he plagues himself to finding a reason…
    …But remembered snow is NOT white-

    It's a rainbow of colour, hindsight, and the season.

    It's snowball fights and ringing laughter. Retrieving the sledge from the roof.
    The cold pinch of rosy cheeks. Children in Wellington boots.
    Definite pictures, frozen in time. White blankets of snow and embers alight,
    With snow, everyone remembers.
    With snow, blind men remember their sight.

    White falling onto white...
    ...softness touching softness


    *****

    We watched snowflakes tumbling down, until a vast carpet covered the ground...
    ...with snowflakes for confetti - Forever as lovers were bound!
    Your nimble fingers quickly cupping the snow expelled by the weather...
    ...Moulding, shaping, caressing - "This is our love melded together,"
    You said, and kissed it, oozing your usual awe and your charm...
    ...before laying that perfect little orb in my palm.

    *****

    White falling onto white...
    ...softness touching softness


    Looking back all these years on, it seems fairly lame…
    …But I placed that memory of our day in the freezer, and there it stayed.
    An icon of our marriage... a keepsake... a knowledge of US!
    Cold as regretted words - Yet as solid as love!
    White as the lies EVERY young couple tells to avoid being proven wrong,
    Something I can show our grandchildren now that you are gone.
    A small piece of YOU I treasure, knowing you'll never mistake or forget me…
    …Holding the orb, I feel your kiss wet my fingers,
    And remember snowflakes for confetti.


    I love you Frank.


    Rest In Peace
    Frank Gerald Waterman
    03/09/1922 - 25/12/2005

    You are sorely missed…

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Replied to Gurbils and Black Magic's last drops.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    you ain't THAT nigga son. you's as white as..... err.... snow.

    ok, now that I got that out of my system, onto the feedback. I really liked the concept of snowflakes representing confetti.. how that coupled with & basically was the hole story, was wonderful. this is very original.. I'd be interested in discovering what inspired you to write it. more than likely it's something obscure that you read or heard about.. but if you divulged it I'd certainly be interested. I think this was the perfect length, how the hole story unwinded was great. I liked how I didn't fully understand what you were talking about until the end, where it became obvious. as always your rhyme scheme was well executed and your word choice perfect. very enjoyable read.

    Ms. Contralto
    ^ now ignore the herbish impression my username leaves so you can read & feed that drop. return my feed for once! fuckin' hell jesus christ..........
    Last edited by This Aint Beef; September 15th, 2006 at 09:36 PM

  4. #4
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Good looks bruh. Appreciate it. Drop a link in here and i'll get at it when Im at work...

    Chrit, Evolve, Jay Walker, Feeble, Smokajoka, Bounce, Tim, K, Gurbil, Com, Dev, Mystery Murdera, Mr. Write. Thats right, search for your names and you'll stumble across this, bitches!
    Last edited by Baron Mynd; September 16th, 2006 at 07:24 PM

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  5. #5
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    Stop lying about your feedback Cam'.
    Gurnil hasn't dropped for time..
    Links soon or this is closed.

    Oh, nice drop btw.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

  6. #6
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...65#post5143365
    ^first of all, hit this.

    the piece was amazing. the love loss between the two seemed devastating yet you made it seem so harmonic at the same time. like the best memory of a persons life unraveled into a thousand words. very nicely written, and i loved how the stanzas progressed into more each time you escalated. sad, but also soothing to think about. kind've like a pre-warning. save that memory, that one special memory, so you can remember that special someone, in that special way. it was a great piece, and well worth my nomination if it hasn't been already.

    - Nash

  7. #7
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    yo baron what the deal kid this wordperfect dawg nice seeing you elivating i remember when this site hated everything you post and u was seriously thinking of ending your reign now you got a lil buzz and a lot of skill kid. i liked the peace the factor of using one huge metaphor instead of several to paint your point made this alot more flavorful.
    build a little on the emmotion side but other then that you had a much better peace then days of past. stay up

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