Atlantis To Interzone - A Killers Throne?

[B.I.Detained.]

**Writers Note:
Not my best, but I thought I'd try and give a little portrayal
of how family's deal with tragedies like this every fucking day.
Luckily put me through to the final of SS.. enjoy.. or not.


From Atlantis To Interzone.


The sufferer sits among..
White-washed walls, where derilect halls are consumed
By death thats bloomed among hollow Swiss rooms.
My bed looms as a center piece, with rotten drips aside
While a solemn Doctor & gentle priest, battle for my life.
My rattled looking wife, is outside with our son
Watching each injection sink & sobbing for each one.
Knowing the worst is yet to come.. & the best is far behind
Love is blind, right?
Cuz as my soulmate takes my hand, the morphine takes my sight
& for one last time tonight, I kiss her lips with bliss results
Making Atlantis to Interzone.. a journey invincible.
He lays still..

The shattered widow..
Is a window blown to pieces from the storm of today.
Making the final moment the finest, as he passes away.
While her son happily plays, unaware - to where his Dads gone
The weight of the world just became a vast tonne.
& the black sun casts a shadow on his Mother in Summer
So sounds the drummer ..
.. with a vicious beat, sounding off a drumroll from death to defeat.
Adept to her feet, a lonely figure of a woman stares at the ground
A white sheet bewildered at her sky coming down.
& why this woman's profound? & such a special Mom?
She'll have no time to grieve, except to care for her son..
..imagine your partner dying, and having "to get along".
Taking her Husbands ring, she's gone..

The emotionless Doctor..
Seems locked t'keeping his character back, & a marriage intact?
Using his patients & syringe to carry out an act
That he made a pact for.. a time he wishes he acted quicker
Before a tumour engrossed his life, and his own wife sicker.
Making his own strife thicker, blowing a flicker out of light.
Left to become a night owl, in recluse of the night
So he refused to give, and fight.. sounds cheesy but its true
Setting up his own practice with white washed rooms.
Legalising death that bloomed, rather than dying at the stem
Illness is a soul voyage, that shouldn't come back to them..
The mourning who grieve..

A year of planning isn't golden..
..when your lover's taken in a moment.
But whether its your Wife, Husband, Sister or Brother
I still believe they shouldn't suffer.

Replied to Nique's latest,
& Bounce's latest.
Fgee's the day also.

[Calligrapher]

this was a good piece, there are many aspects of this that i like. first the imagery was good and the flow was there that kept me reading it... the part i liked the best was the way you went from one perspective to another and tied them together to see how different people would view the same situation..creative and a good way to turn the story from one character to another.. content was good and wording was well put together nothing to forced.. all in all was a good piece from the begining to the end read some more..

[B.I.Detained.]

Kanksth!

[Tim]

I liked this piece very crisp write with the style and rhymeschme jumping from side to side gave it that much more imo not many people can do something like that and pull it off like you did, id agree iv seen some better work from you in the past but this one id rank up there so dont give yourself so much shit dude and again sorry i didnt peep this in the SS final 4, but yeah again nice piece

[B.I.Detained.]

Thanks timmy..

[Soule]

This was a nice peice Brixy.

The wordings was pretty nice and had a mature theme to it. The flow was nice and stayed smooth through a majority of the peice. The story was great. Its not one of you're best like you said but it was still a great peice and it was done very well. This is one of the reasons you're an OM mod. Cuz you know how to make a peice great. Keep writing.

~Blind.