Last Fight

[Tragedian.]

upp...

[Alphabetized]

The concept is not new at all, but it still wasn't a bad piece.
I really enjoyed this line.

I can’t lie I really do love her…no matter who says what
Screw up every time I talk and that’s why my mouth stays shut

IDk why but that bar seemed really cool to me.
Anyways, your flows pretty good.. not perfect but really decent.
Your structure is ok, but i never pick on structure since mine
is always shit.. as long as you read it that's cool.

Good work.

[Bounce]

Don't let people tell you shit about your structure bruh, trust me. Most have no fucken clue and think the asthetics have something to do with the mechanics. WRONG. If your peices are mechanically sound, no matter the asthetic structure, they are mechanicaaly sound. Structure is only an issue, when it is related to rhymes scheme, line count and syllabols per line. Too many kinds here are oblivous to that. If you have a set or poetic meter in your peice, your strucutre is the metter, and NOT the way your verse is displayed. Lines do not have to match, long lines and short lines can still have a balenced syllable count, so that is a non issue. You have improved from the first few reads I seen of yours, so good job on that. You do nto have to have a square looking drop, to have good strucutre, all you have to do is have a solid grasp on the mechanics.

SO if your lines looked like this...

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as opposed to this

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all that maaters is that your lines have fluid transition, balanced count, and solid word choice.

Most of the time kids who write in block tyoe strucutre fuck up the mechanics of the peice and throw off the meter and shit can not be spit to a beat.


I have worked out a strucutre that I like to use, but it has ntohng to do with the peice, it's jsut the way I like to have my line set when I go to record the verse. It helps me with my delivery and timing. So, please take note and do not let the kids around here led you astray.

[Tragedian.]

thanks bounce...that was the best feed i have read lol.

upp.

[Calligrapher]

i liked the peice, but will have to say that the complexity and wordplay was lacking... emotion was good which is nice to have but you need to grab the attention the reader... also the flow was off at points would also work on this as it would help the reader keep interested in the verse from start to finish.. still liked the read feeling was there but just step up the rest of the content.

keep elevating homie

[Relli_Mak]

I'm feeling this one a bit from the standpoint of being in love with somebody. Although it got a little misconstrued when you were mentioning your homies, the main topic eventually came back out which is ya girl. It had emotion, but with a piece like this one, u need those exact words to bring the emotion out entirely. So, up the vocab a bit. But overall, a good piece, G. Mak

[GrimmyReaps]

dang u got everybody checkin ur om out...but nobodys checkin out mines and clisk's... u got tim bounce erbody...

[Tragedian.]

uppers.

[Tragedian.]

upp.