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Thread: The Central Artery

  1. #1

    The Central Artery

    "Environmentalists and neighborhood groups in Charlestown and Cambridge are gearing up a last-ditch campaign to block state environmental approvals for the Central Artery project's 16-lane Scheme Z interchange. Mayor Flynn met yesterday with Charlestown residents to hear their concerns that the 11-story, 700-foot-wide structure, which would cover an area the size of Boston Common at the northern entrance to the city, would overwhelm their neighborhood with visual blight, shadows, noise and air pollution." - Peter J. Howe, Boston Globe Staff

    Watch the lost homes-pebbles fall across the levels
    of distrust in the form of broken decks, cinderblocks, & metal.
    Twisted rebar scars the insignificant, as the city starts
    to give in to the last minute heartache in Cambridge.
    Sucking dust fog misers through clots of cloth fibers,
    searching for our front door under spores of hot tires.

    Cambridge, MA: June 12, 1971


    Grass noels and swinging feet traded for gravel and industry,
    for profitable rather than placement in a jaded synergy.
    Dope sales fail as the streets spar for the right to live in spark;
    community implodes for peeks at lightening bugs in jelly jars.
    Stick your tongue out and capture black winter from
    the side of ditch as the plow rolls down the cracks; lick the
    dirty snow as is blows off the overpass into your lungs.

    "The grotesque monstrosity that will be the new Central Artery requires a certain power of imagination to be grasped. Maybe that's why people are only now beginning to get upset about it." - Robert Campbell, Boston Globe Correspondent

    As the dandelion's backs collapse, and we find sun
    from under the black lungs of central arteries hung,
    the nooses drip sandy skies along youth blessed limbs
    gone spry, while the knots clot and streets lose lives.
    From box tops on Boston blood clots, I sift shadows
    of lost Monday flowers wondering where the sun's gone,
    and why the last note I saw was the pallbearer of gun shot.

    "Several environmental leaders and employees within state environmental agencies are accusing the Dukakis administration of bending and sidestepping environmental protection regulations in a rush to obtain final approvals for the $5 billion Central Artery/Third Harbor Tunnel project."

    Hostility mounts sounds of desperation, on concrete grounds
    grasping threads of light now, from the cracks of center stages.
    Faces grow pale in the midnight months, days know no sail,
    The slate strips lives as son's grip knives; take the veil,
    close your eyes to your own unsure crimes of hope
    and desperate times........................... we're all blind,
    it's time to learn life's loopholes of fallen nights.

    "Sources in state government said that Environmental Affairs Secretary John P. DeVillars and agency heads under him have been facing intense pressure from Artery officials to approve a proposed 16-lane interchange called Scheme Z despite possible infringements on protected parkland at the mouth of the Charles River and questions about adherence to environmental review procedures." - Peter J. Howe, Boston Globe Staff

    Beneath the artery overpass, a city screams,
    a city chokes debris and midnight masterpiece,
    and from the Central Artery we live life as Z
    ... the long forgot community.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5091138
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5091144
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    For a tourny on another site, topic: 'Under the Bridge'
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  3. #3
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    This was a good piece man.

    I love your OM's and the rhyming and the vocabulary and everything was on point. I've been constantly reading your poetry, so I'm not veryused to the OMs you spit, but this one was one of the best I've seen in a while. Still your abstract style and Everything in here, but just om-ified if you will. Very good man. A great message in here. Although the use of the quotes seemed kind of excessive, everything still flowed nicely and was well put together Good job.

    Check this.
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308137

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  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    This was a very good piece, the rhyming started off somewhat incipient to the usual poetics of yours however disregarding the poetic style and looking at the piece as an individual one i have to say that it was a very engaging piece in terms that it gave you a snapshot of the scene ad scenario through quotations used plus the description given by you with the abstract metaphors always adds to the overall quality. The main part that caught my attention the most was probably the black snow one, that was quite a clever and highly descriptive line/paragraph.
    Overall, i liked this and would call it one of your better om's. Stay up^

  5. #5
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    Wow this was an amazing poem the scheme and vocab were simply amazing there was loads of emotion but the good thing was that none of it was forced but although you used big vocabulary you managed to maintain a flow which is amazing because i was never capable of pulling that myself. the message was great too man but what helped make it better what how you used those quotes i really enjoyed this piece i am not familiar with your work but now that i read this i cant wait to read your next piece good job man

  6. #6
    I have to say this piece was quite good. i liked your imagery in this piece the most with the quotes and the wording you chose in each different stanza.. You had some very good abstract metaphors in there like always, Im used to reading your poetry style work rather then your OM's but this was still a good pieece when you stop and look at it as an om... very goodp iece here man i really liked it. I would have to say your second stanza was the one that stuck out most for me.very good keep it up

  7. #7
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    this piece to me started off at the beginnin of it but then as you progressed it came together i liked the complexity of this piece also your rhyme scheme to me was sumtin new but as i read i enjoyed it more and more as i read my favorite lines are


    Hostility mounts sounds of desperation, on concrete grounds
    grasping threads of light now, from the cracks of center stages.
    Faces grow pale in the midnight months, days know no sail,
    The slate strips lives as son's grip knives; take the veil,
    close your eyes to your own unsure crimes of hope
    and desperate times........................... we're all blind,
    it's time to learn life's loopholes of fallen nights.


    nice drop
    Left2Right


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  8. #8
    Paradoxymoron Nib Oswald's Avatar
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    Well done. This had awesome use of consonance, assonance and alliteration throughout your lines that really created a choked-up tone of flow... like 'Sucking dust fog misers through clots of cloth fibers'. Loved that line.
    You displayed a strong skill at imagery and metaphor. Flow was a little off here and there when some sentences didn't have end rhymes, but internals throughout kept a solid flow of rhyme. Topic didn't grab me as such, but your work certainly conveyed an interesting message through great use of language.

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    IJL: Because 'NAMBLA' was already taken.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Word.. I was reading the stanza's aloud to myself and the quotes made me come to a screeching holt. Not too much of a gripe, but perhaps they weren't all neccasery. The way you structured this was key in my opinion. Your placement of commars, full stops, starting of new lines, and that one long pause near the end, gave me a real idea of how to follow your flow. Your use of internals and 'half rhymes' (eg. when you rhymed "spark" & "jar") also enabled me to follow your flow easily. I don't think I would've liked this drop half as much if you hadn't executed this aspect so skillfully. When I first clicked on this drop and saw the picture.. it sort of turned me off. Just the image it presented to me made me think the topic might be..... boring. But once I got started I quickly got into it. I think you deserve to be commended for taking such a difficult & original topic and crafting it to the level you have. I'm going to nominate.. keep it up dude.

  10. #10
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    yeh i read this on rv, shit was dope. this seemed to have a slurred word scheme that brought multisyllable strings along very well, and with not any over the top vocabulary, but enough to make it seem complex, the quptes however, did seem to mess up the meter, i also loved how you took the topic and jut made it a little more complex and metaphorical than most peopel would've done.. so good job woith that, and great job with the piece.

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  11. #11
    Thanks for the feedback everyone.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    first line i liked was the jelly jars shit... thatb was coo
    amd also went on about black winter or some crazy metta like that. which was interesting..... other than that it all got a bit boring for me. was written quite well thp in an artistic sense. just the whole theme diddnt capture me for a minute.
    had a good blend of poetry rythm and rap flow. , multies were oK. nothin great.
    but yeah a good write none the less

    read this n b sic
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308739
    .................................................. ......................

  13. #13
     
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    Atticus aka Myself...kudos on this shit bud! I really liked the wording used in the whole piece. You have an interesting way of bringing the reader in and it really works out weell for you. I feel as if I was the one narrating the story and that's what really makes a great piece as a whole. Your flow was impressive and your internals were nice. I loved most the amount of emotion that this piece had...it really brings out the importance in the piece. Anyways...great work...good luck with the battle you got with this...tough to beat I think...keep it up!

    -Educated

  14. #14
    ... up
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  15. #15
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    i drop feed on this some time ago i was wonderin if you could hit my link up in my sig the first one bra thanx atticus
    Left2Right


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