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Thread: Oracle's Whimper

  1. #1
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    Oracle's Whimper





    The Oracle's Whimper




    In the lone night sky a pale moon,but a rich light reflected
    Grand reseemblence of her past which was slight neglection
    The eyes of God gaze down with the look of blind conviction
    Oracle only visioned blank words worth inscripted less diction
    Escaping any impeech meant of power by the juristiction
    Nothing to say in the essential time to cure the Christians
    She was the hope to determine anything uncanny-effortless
    Also here cry's of the lost power took away her decisiveness
    In the hook and blade of which was used to cut the throat
    Of millions of demons,Not wanting to believe reguarding loath
    Discarding hope as an option it was when she lost belief
    In a sea of blood was formed a reef,still no clinch of relief
    Now as she cries and pleads- falling to an immortals feet
    Betrayed by her own family including a disloyal preist
    Lies built,the truth was hid along the long filthy road
    Tears,rolled down the cheek-on to her long silky robe
    Agonizing through her life and writing in her diary
    The Oracle's page of whispers organized silently
    In her roots she expanded insculping names in heart
    Cutting through veins blood gushing in the pagan art
    In the assumption of death she reached her final temper
    Soon after she slit her tender wrist-and death as the infer
    .

    Oracle's Whimper


    Last edited by Axeshun; August 27th, 2006 at 03:52 PM

  2. #2
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306907

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=307189

  3. #3
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    WAIT A MINUTE!.....:

    In the hook and blade of which was used to cut the throat
    Of millions of demons,Not wanting to believe reguarding loath
    Discarding hope as an option it was when she lost belief
    In a sea of blood was formed a reef,still no clinch of relief
    BY ORFENTIC/\

    Bro...This is an Incredible piece...i mean really.....I see your vision here....I mean I haven't seen anyone on this type of topic...Well....Not in this manner I should say..
    i have no complaints at all....

    Great work...i look forward to reading others!!!!

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  4. #4
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    31 views 1 person leaves feed? sad. uppin and thank you very much I very well appreciate you being the only one to feed on my peice and others look and don't say anything,which is so disrespectful,once again I thank you.

  5. #5
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    upp

  6. #6
    Newbie da_evil_kemist's Avatar
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    yo, orfentik
    thats some good work man... i like that alot... big upps

  7. #7
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I wasn't feeling this so much. You didn't set the tone up well enough and your writers voice is all over the place. I liked a few lines towards the end there, but for the most part this just didn;t gel for me. The scheme was bad man, not only predictable but very choppy. This could have been fluid and had better transitions, I would have done some things differntly. I just couldn't get into this, it nevfer flowed for me in he read. Never deleoped and outside of the complex mettas, there was ntohing forme to really sink my teeth into... I'll keep peeping..

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  8. #8
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    Thanx.

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