Hendrix The Shredder: Never Forever

[B.I.Detained.]

Fuck Forever
Fuck Forever
Fuck Forever
Fuck Forever?

Who am I? Apart from the god of rock..
A black warlock finger tapping like "the mod' of shock".
Shredding, is what I've got, Till I run a mock at your wedding
Blaring out the speakers to your uncle's air that he's getting.
& while he dreams, I'm sweating, under the seems
Headband dressings, soaks up cheers from thundered teens.
Cuz to them, Jimi's the right thing! Deemed a riff knight king
With my experience comes thunder, so suck up the lightning.
& hail to the writing, until strings are enticing to touch.
Hyping, to "Purple Haze" makes troubled boys give a fuck..
Jimi's spitting muck? Take a look at minions of music come up
For I am the Devil, and I'm breeding my pups..
Now the gate to hell isn't easily shut, we replace blood with ink
Reproducing, the likes of Kravitz and Prince.
We're holding links, but touching me? Never a moment since..
My golden glints, has ANYBODY matched my stolen prints.
See I'm still "Roland" mint, and with my axe to attack the stage
I can rip any script or act that you've played.
The facts & truths these days, portray my 28 years of life
To be youthful, right?
But I'd still rather be jamming the experience..
..every tuneful night.
Just to sip a spoonful of sight, before LSD took a bite
& euphoria became an addict, to Jimi's cool looking life.
Now I'm a fool stuck in spite, or heaven, or limbo..
Walking for a 7/11 to find, a missing sign in the window,
& with that said, you'll never know which way the wind'll go.
Praying for soul in a cracked bed.. to the children, and to God
I nod, and whisper softly with a cocked head..
What a life, right?

..
Jimi, music'd be a better place if you were not dead.

[Nique.]

Bad Part: I hated the ended. It seemed rushed and it didn't particularly rhyme at all. That's like, the last three lines.

Good Part: The rest, literally. This is being slept on because these kids don't know who J I M . .E HENDRIX is. My favorite part:

Cuz to them, Jimi's the right thing! Deemed a riff knight king
With my experience comes thunder, so suck up the lightning.
& hail to the writing, until strings are enticing to touch.
Hyping, to "Purple Haze" makes troubled boys give a fuck..
Jimi's spitting muck? Take a look at minions of music come up
For I am the Devil, and I'm breeding my pups..
Now the gate to hell isn't easily shut, we replace blood with ink
Reproducing, the likes of Kravitz and Prince.
We're holding links, but touching me? Never a moment since..
My golden glints, has ANYBODY matched my stolen prints.

The imagery was sick. The flow was on point and I liked how you mentioned two other greats in this piece. You added them with a vibrant, yet delicate touch. With emphasis, but not too obvious where it takes away from the person you're actually writing about. The prototype of rock n roll and his talent with a guitar. Shits sad how his life ended, like most black legendary artists. Drugs, drugs, drugs.

This was beautifully written Brix. Peace.

[Bounce]

I enjoyed this dude, suprising... I didn't expect to see a hendrix joint up in here, dope!

Then you took a morbid twist on it,
and open ended the thing with a rhetorical question

I liked that, and it was populated with some hot spots as far as flow goes. Felt rushed towards the ending, but the questions sits on your mind for a time, so cool.

interesting take on the very same topic I used in my SS battle, too bad you got no showed bruh...

[Soule]

You and Bounce are yet to make a horrible peice,

This wording was incredible and brought out a wonderful Flow. The strucre was nice and easy to read and enjoy. The creativty and imagenary as usual was Legendary. HoF worthy? Maybe. I'll let other heads deside that for ya man. but never stop Writing. You and Bounce are what makes the Poetic Scripture and OM forum enjoyable. And before I leave, one last thing I just have to say.
.
.
Rest In Peace
Rock And Rolls Greatest

[P. Mortuus]

Very nice, ths was worded as such that it can have a unique flow with every other reader. Very enjoyable and the first personperspective given added to a sense of realism and really gave the peace a voice. I liked the wording, each rhyme fitted the correct place and the words used were not predicatable and more exclusive which is always good to see na mean. I like the previous posts beleive that the ending was rushed, it was as if you have gone in so much detail with every line and all of a sudden an abrupt end comes. Though this keeps the reader wanting to know more and shows that maybe ys, the ending was succesful. Overall, i liked this piece, enjoyable and though provoking. Stay up.

Some comments would be appreciated.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306291

[Borzoi]

lyrically nice with a consistent flow for the most part with some nice imagery...nice poetic feel thru - out makes for a nice piece,good work.

[Endeva.]

i read this in SS and was impressed.

really interesting

im a lazy twat so thats all im going to say

[TProphet]

There should be more pieces like this in OM.Pieces that give an insight into somebodys life that has effected alot of people. Ya dont really get to see much of them in Om for some reason. Do you by any chance know a Emcee called Shifty from around Manchester?. Your style reminds me alot of when he spits on a more deep and meaningfull track instead of his usual Grime type ish [Ignore that if you dont know him]
Erm yeah, i enjoyed this, everything was just perfectly worded and flowed nicely. Read it in SS and thought if Glory had shown it woulda have been probaly the battle of the week. Nicely written anyway. Thanks for the feed on mine and Bio's piece

[GrimmyReaps]

damn this topic is way better than i expected....ur not jimi but u made a good look at how his life was...i didnt like the end it was rushed and didnt rhyme but the verse hade good vocab,an the worldplay had its own exence,but as already know ur a great writer....i like how u brought in prince and lenny...but this is a very creative peice and i think a hard topic...but u made it work...

PLZ leave feed on the Oms in my sig...tks

[Illus']

Headband dressings, soaks up cheers from thundered teens.
Cuz to them, Jimi's the right thing! Deemed a riff knight king
With my experience comes thunder, so suck up the lightning.
& hail to the writing,

Nice beginning for sure. Very well worded nice wordplay
as well.

The whole verse definitely gave insight to Jimi Hendrix.
Like this topic you know not many heads here talk
about certain musical inspirations.. So nice concept
and nice ideas in this writing. I guess Hendrix is a
inspiration to you as a writer ?

Anyway nice flow just a few parts were off but nothing
major. Solid piece .


Keep writing.

[B.I.Detained.]

There should be more pieces like this in OM.Pieces that give an insight into somebodys life that has effected alot of people. Ya dont really get to see much of them in Om for some reason. Do you by any chance know a Emcee called Shifty from around Manchester?. Your style reminds me alot of when he spits on a more deep and meaningfull track instead of his usual Grime type ish [Ignore that if you dont know him]
Erm yeah, i enjoyed this, everything was just perfectly worded and flowed nicely. Read it in SS and thought if Glory had shown it woulda have been probaly the battle of the week. Nicely written anyway. Thanks for the feed on mine and Bio's piece

Wierd you say that mate, coz my mate has just been put on a compilation with him. Check out "Proper Rum Outfit". I'm not that into grime anymore but they're mint as fook. Thanks for the feed though.

[B.I.Detained.]

BACK UP!! Yo....

[Client]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306821
Hit that up please

I really liked this man. I always peep your shit and waht keeps me so interested like in this one is that you never use huge vocabulary but you seem so intellegent in what your saying. The flow in this was great, nothing was forced and it made for a great read. The content in this was excellent, it seemed like you rushed it towards the end but it was still good. Your imagery was so vivd, it really complimented the great emotion you had. The descriptivness really grabbed me and made me read the whole piece. Honestly this was great, hit my piece up please. Thanks

Jimi's spitting muck? Take a look at minions of music come up
For I am the Devil, and I'm breeding my pups..
Now the gate to hell isn't easily shut, we replace blood with ink
Reproducing, the likes of Kravitz and Prince.
We're holding links, but touching me? Never a moment since..
My golden glints, has ANYBODY matched my stolen prints.
See I'm still "Roland" mint, and with my axe to attack the stage
I can rip any script or act that you've played.
The facts & truths these days, portray my 28 years of life
To be youthful, right?

[Clee]

I really enjoyed reading this, you put together Hendrixs' life very well, I felt the emotion in this piece, you had a good rhymescheme, and a good use of multis, this piece flowed extremely well, thats why it was such a good read, I'm really glad to see a Hendrix om, he was a legend and you really portrayed him as one, you did a great job of putting a visual image for the reader of what the end of his career was like, a lot of people don't know about Jimi, while they should...

We're holding links, but touching me? Never a moment since..
My golden glints, has ANYBODY matched my stolen prints.
See I'm still "Roland" mint, and with my axe to attack the stage
I can rip any script or act that you've played.
The facts & truths these days, portray my 28 years of life
To be youthful, right?
But I'd still rather be jamming the experience..
..every tuneful night.

Favorite part, thought you really explained that well, this whole piece was worded greatly, yeah it did seem like the last 4 lines you rushed, but you did so well in the rest of the om, that it shouldn't matter, great job man, I look forward to reading more from you.







If you could return the favor, thanks.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...264#post4958264

[Jon]

I knew someone was going to get this topic, and I'm glad it was you. I loved this piece. Even though Prince and Hendrix were before my time, I still understand the presence they gave off. Your rhymescheme definatly wasn't forced, and came off well with the flow. The part I liked the most was:

"Just to sip a spoonful of sight, before LSD took a bite
& euphoria became an addict, to Jimi's cool looking life.
Now I'm a fool stuck in spite, or heaven, or limbo..
Walking for a 7/11 to find, a missing sign in the window,
& with that said, you'll never know which way the wind'll go.
Praying for soul in a cracked bed.. to the children, and to God
I nod, and whisper softly with a cocked head..
What a life, right?"

In my opinion, that way VERY well thought out. You grasped ever aspect you needed to on this piece. I loved it. Not quite Hall Of Fame material, maybe if it was longer. But this will definatly be a piece I read again in like.. a few days. Nice job brix. Oh, and nice modding by the way. Keep writing.