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Thread: Under the Iron Clad Sea

  1. #1
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Under the Iron Clad Sea

    Under the Iron Clad Sea

    The Bong Water Phenomenon

    Clad in a grayish metallic color the city rests
    Manifests each day the smog that humbly sets
    We place bets on our own survival
    On the holy holocaust arrival
    With no rival but ourselves we plummet
    As we climb and see the distant summit
    Covered in human ash, nothing resides or grows
    As on the tide the human souls ride and decompose
    One rose remains in the middle,
    The thorns black tipped and brittle
    Jesus holds it in a steady embrace
    As machines trace his path to this place
    With a crooked grace they nail him
    To a cross of silicone, evil prevails with sin
    The rose becomes his crown…
    As in his own blood he drowns
    Deaths throne set high above the populace
    There’s No stopping this dominance
    Prominence with the downfall
    The so called leaders, clowns and dolls
    We once knew our steady direction
    Now the infection
    …has increased our tainted reflection
    the dissection of what was pure…
    turned to cinnamon and rust no cure

    with blackened hearts we wait and rest
    waiting for the day of redemption and our test
    if this is how we are humbly blessed
    then mark me down along with the rest of the possessed
    READ MORE

  2. #2
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    READ MORE

  3. #3
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    uppin.
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  4. #4
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    gg
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  5. #5
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I thought this was dope man, really enjoyed it. I rased an eyebrow, and that is hard to get me to do. good job on that battle man.

    [YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
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    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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  6. #6
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306793

    now poop^

    alright, this was very nice. The poetic take on the topic was a very creative way, and when your on the poetic take, its dope to make it the poetical rhyme scheme, but you took a different take on it.. it was a poetic rhyme scheme, but incorporated the concepts a classic multie piece would have, like inners and multisyllables here or there.... the emotion and description was great as wel.. hof man

    hit up the link

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  7. #7
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    thanks guys... coul ill check the link tommorow morning.
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  8. #8
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    woot woot.
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  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Yea this was nice real nice. I've read it like 3 times but just never wanted to feed beacuse I didn't feel like it. But yea anyway I really liked your rhyme scheme, you used it well and made it flow real well. I like the short crisp lines that get right to the point. Yea so the whole way you chose to write to this topics was real unique and dope. The descriptivness you used was great, it really made me hold a mental picture of what was going on. Emotion was great and the content and overall outtake of this topic was dope. Yea HoF, I would nominate it but somebody already did and I'm lazy. But props, dope

    Covered in human ash, nothing resides or grows
    As on the tide the human souls ride and decompose
    One rose remains in the middle,
    The thorns black tipped and brittle
    Jesus holds it in a steady embrace
    As machines trace his path to this place
    Dope.

    I had a link for you to hit up but then I fuckin copy and pasted them lines so lemme go get it.

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    IJL

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    IJL

  11. #11
    No Love Lost Axeshun's Avatar
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    Pretty nice interesting as well nice vocab...imagery and the topic is nice I really like this whole peice very dope indeed you have a keen eye for creative lines and how to word it to make it more vivid and to make it better you through in multies here and there whic is an impressive task to pull of with evrything else there as well I like reading your drops man...you must keep writing.



    EDIT: Linkage.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=307285

  12. #12
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soulstice

    hit up the link

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=307596


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