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Thread: follow me M-A-D

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    sydney ERCO
    Age
    36
    Posts
    146
    Battle Record
    0-2

    follow me M-A-D

    my morals went with my mouth
    inhibishionbs spent impregnating my spouse>>>>'s firend
    conscience lent to my firends sister for a blood blister
    on> a> date with twister ( pause inbetween each word)

    swallowing lister----- rean
    living off of glycine as green as im seen
    meaner then the machine your seeing...
    peaing, on the wall then turning back off it
    smearing lip stick with a dip stick cas of a lack of it
    enfusiastic, spastic, snaping back like an elastic
    getting my ass kicked, thinking im mr fantastic,
    made out of plastic,
    figurines, slicing you faster then wilverwean ,
    bust at the seams, ready to steam, like a cooked bean,
    sniffing mr shean, why dose ever-re-thing look. so. clean?
    floating like,... he, le, em,
    we, al, ing,.. in my ass, back from a fight at class over an assessiment task
    smashed a glass beeker me my self am meaker picking on the weaker
    cheater green slime coke lime rhyme about the time you stole a dime back when it was a crime
    repersent the present ass cooked like a phesent
    to hell im sent, but the it sent me back, just for fun wack-a-sack
    for fuck-ing-up a de-mon-ic pa-per run
    smell the seant of smoke an rum
    crooked an bent, over like ron dover fuck you, you shofer
    I stand out like a gofer, whearing a pair of loafers, an a hat thats topped,
    poped and droped out my mom like a toaster
    per-matuer-a-ly deformed and cripled physicalty as well as per-son-aliatly
    reality is hell to me
    raised by television A, B, C,
    to believe that we
    would become welthly, and famous
    the next generation of aimless teenages on low wagers
    read the yellow pages at six stages
    bellowe your rages
    locked in societys cages....

    (slow....) (fast....................)
    follow me, I will pro vide a purpose
    stop talking, your lies are worthless
    theres no way, they can usurp this
    (fast.........................................) (slow....)
    dont pull, the clover over our eyes,it all lies!, screw you,
    (fast..................)
    we all ready learnt this
    if you wern't pissed before you are now for shure going door to door
    waging a personal war at caranigicy hall haha

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4905826
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...881#post486481
    And all that gibberish
    that you were spittin'
    you need to kill it
    Cas your style is like dying in my sleep
    , I don't feel it

  2. #2
    the medicine man
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    UK
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,921
    Battle Record
    52-34
    inhibishionbs, wilverwean

    you need to work on your spelling that phonetic shits okay for babies but your 17, proof read your verses before you post them, use a spell check or something.

    i liked your flow, i thought it showed potential in some places...... BUT!!!

    what the fuck were you going on about, some of your lines showed potential

    to believe that we
    would become welthly, and famous
    the next generation of aimless teenages on low wagers


    but then it look like you just put extra lines in because of the flow.
    you didnt really have a topic which is okay, if you can pull it off, work on that.

    you ryhme scheme was good, and with a bit of practice and elevation i think that you can become a good writer.

  3. #3
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,685
    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    "Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.

    I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.

    Reason: Fake links!


    -Brix."
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

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