Ghost

[menolin]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post4853817
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...20#post4853820

spirtitual individual.. not pyhsical.. unlyrical
i never quite reached the pinnicle
im dense you see, an non entity
i wander aimlessley for something thst burns in me
my mates haunt famously
and its strange to say i never age
my page never turns since i rose from the earn
an unrested soul, without a story to be told
i never learn anything
and im always colder than ice
i gave up being nice in my second life
i cant count the number of times ive suddenly arrived
at a table full of people who got candles and knives
with some tit saying hes here with my wife
..i look for answers with no questions
going on long sessions searching and....
messing with peoples minds.. maybe its a blessing in disguise
i cant get in churches for a reprise
and it surprises me im not clear to see
no reflection and nobody can hear me

[Omega.]

this was kinda...mysterious...this had some flows then some poetic feel to it..i see this more of poetic rather than topical..but still good. your flow and wordings were kinda like every where man...like it didnt really SLAP the topic that it was supposedly pertained to..

spirtitual individual.. not pyhsical.. unlyrical
i never quite reached the pinnicle
^^
nice opener caught my eye..



i never learn anything
and im always colder than ice
i gave up being nice in my second life
i cant count the number of times ive suddenly arrived
at a table full of people who got candles and knives
with some tit saying hes here with my wife
..i look for answers with no questions
going on long sessions searching and....
messing with peoples minds.. maybe its a blessing in disguise
i cant get in churches for a reprise
and it surprises me im not clear to see
no reflection and nobody can hear me
^^
nice closer and mid part..liked the sense of multies in there...your emotiona dn intertwine in feeling is what lacked in here..if you put more feel and stuck it well with feeling then this would be a very good read!.

RTF. on picture perfect, link in the sig!

[Vylint]

This was just underdevolped and never turned into much, you have a style like it could be sick. Alot of contradicting things tho...

spirtitual individual.. not pyhsical.. unlyrical

Most emcees wouldn't call themselves a church going, weak stregthed, bad rapper?
But if thats what you were trying more power to you, if not try to quit using Vocab because thats what everyone thinks is dope. If you got a verse full of 3-5 letter words but it makes perfect sence and flows great its better then a vocab overan horrible flow novel.

just some tips.

[B.I.Detained.]

"Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.

I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
READ THE RULES.
CLOSED.

Reason: Shit Feed.

-Brix."