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Thread: Deadly Art.

  1. #1
    I'm Twisted. FanQ.'s Avatar
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    Deadly Art.

    Deadly Art.


    Locked in a cage society-ruled by poverty,
    freedom is so dark and narrow as if we're in an alley
    Money so tight here, can't grasp it, it’s so hard
    we're to busy holding onto the USA government bars
    and eating its flavor of illusion with -100% of reality,
    All combine in one and we're getting blind, oh the sanity.
    So I express myself, with a can of paint and a wall,
    hoping this message will finally loosen this major enthrall,
    we're being locked with chains on our feets,
    can't hardly move on, so there’s no future for us to reach,
    No light on the other side, we need Harriet tub man,
    have a miracle and approach to the north, other then
    going down south, having dirt of agony on our faces,
    We got rash on our tongues so we speak trash in our voices.
    In the dark I sit, I shake this society up a little,
    unleash its colorful reality, give the illusion a big brittle,
    I move in an artistic way with its paint brush, "Oh nice,”
    and I'm done, a gallery of art all in one without a price
    and why should it be, its freedom and this message,
    A beautiful color rainbow, should give people the courage.

    I hear matches being flick on and flames hissing,
    orange and red making many heads sweating
    pores of 'revolution' coming out of many divergent skins,
    It’s finally begun, the torrent of people busting in
    trying to save this one kid, who created a passion
    that he never felt, he's a dream come true virgin
    with his hands on metal bars and sentence to death
    tears drift down his cheeks, knowing that his breath
    is about to be taken by Justice who doesn't care,
    living in a society that if you express your freedom affair
    they'll take your air and leave your spirits high
    In the sky leave your mind replaying over and over "Why?”
    A Kid who grew up in the gutter is being washed out
    just because he took his spray paint and did a drought
    on leaking his emotions on this society -A Rainbow,
    we're too busy fighting our own-sending death blows
    to the abs and making them puke out the reality
    That’s hidden in our insides. It loosens our compact unity.
    That’s what the rainbow symbolizes, unity. "Damn yo
    its cause of us and this gov, that this kid have to go"


    Last edited by FanQ.; August 12th, 2006 at 11:38 PM
    It's my own space, my own time, when I'm just out there letting my thoughts go. It's part of my day like eating, and it's one of my favorite parts.

    Louise Kent


  2. #2
    I'm Twisted. FanQ.'s Avatar
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    It's my own space, my own time, when I'm just out there letting my thoughts go. It's part of my day like eating, and it's one of my favorite parts.

    Louise Kent


  3. #3
    Banned Synonym's Avatar
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    Not Bad at all man this was a good way to point out something that it didn't seem to be or even if it was<sounds more confusing than it is...so on,this was a nice drop cool imagery not too good on the creative point or even vocab seeing there wasn't much at all you had imagery but not alot of creativity which is very strange to me :/ but a great concept liked your take on the topic your ending was really good man stay up and keep writing

  4. #4
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  5. #5
    I'm Twisted. FanQ.'s Avatar
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    Lol, you didn't get my piece at all.
    It's my own space, my own time, when I'm just out there letting my thoughts go. It's part of my day like eating, and it's one of my favorite parts.

    Louise Kent


  6. #6
    door.window'n'.shit
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    That was a graffiti writers confession if there ever was one
    I like the visual imagery of it.the story telling ect
    didn't like some of the rhyming syllables a little too much assonance

    Peace

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yeah not bad dun. better than a lot of shit been poppin up. shit was wrote tite. and at least attempted to go into some depth of concept and use a somewhat elevated language........ so yea props on that ish....... some rhymes got a bit bleh in few spots. , imagey was str8 forward but there at least. , keep elevating how to make the imagery more concrete and solid. and keep elevating the wording and rhymes then you be on some right tracks i say, yeah cool still

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