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Thread: Untitled

  1. #1
    Beats You.
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Age
    32
    Posts
    324
    Battle Record
    2-5

    Untitled

    Criticism is motivation, that's ugly and blurred
    Above me its stirred, he showed that everyone is concerned
    Chasing the dream, but there's a new race everyday
    A new struggle to overcome, as many are fading away
    The brightest shine through the hex of underachievement
    Believe it, cause I'm stuck there between it
    Can't back down from anybody, cause all I have is this game
    I have it to play, and hopefully it leads me to fame
    Got no control though, I'm doing this solo
    Tryna be as smooth as chocolate, yet I'm not rolo
    Give me some damn luck, cause it's hate
    I shoulda played golf, I'll never get a big break
    The path has been unfocused, across the way
    It rots my brain, after each exhausting day
    I've worked forever through all these years
    Only leave 3 things at the court: blood, sweat, tears

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Age
    34
    Posts
    33
    Battle Record
    0-1
    the first half was real good
    the last half kinda sucked tho

    i didnt really get the topic so it kinda bored me

  4. #4
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    South Carolina
    Age
    38
    Posts
    37
    ok yes you started off dope man but it dropped off man you started off serious then you threw that rolo line and it was like yeah try to be consistent na mean also you just like dropped your vocab at the end man
    dude this site sucks man come to <a href=
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Mic </a> you'll get more feedback and everythin
    \

  5. #5
    Beats You.
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Age
    32
    Posts
    324
    Battle Record
    2-5
    Yeah, the shitty half was bad. I wrote the first 8 lines, they just came one after another. But the others I tried to get to 16 so I could post.


    Thnx

    Up

  6. #6
    Beats You.
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Age
    32
    Posts
    324
    Battle Record
    2-5
    Little more feed?

  7. #7
    dreadedfistofthenorthwest
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Elympia
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,713
    Battle Record
    14-6
    it was pretty good. like the guy up there said the first was good the second half was bad. but it was overall pretty good. keep em comin you got potential. for real.
    The R.
    -The Illest Ever Kid-

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    117
    Battle Record
    2-2
    this was good.. choppy at some points.. but still tight an held firm

    nice lil piece...
    <c> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v19/ammo312/ScreenShot050.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <c/>

  9. #9
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
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    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    "Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.

    I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.

    Reason: Shit Feedback.


    -Brix."
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

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