The Girl...Feat..Inst1gator

[Tragedian.]

The Girl...Dj..
Her name is sabrina and i promise shes the best
im actually in love wit her....and intell i have her i wont rest..
she puts me thru test..to make sure i`ll stay loyal..
but our love will keep growing like a seed in soil..
with me i can make sure u`ll be spoiled..i jus want u to be mine...
but if u cant see how much i love you...you must be blind...
i promise no matter ur answer i`ll be fine..if u say no atleast tell me why..
every night all i can do is sit there and try to not cry...
i try to make i sure i hide how much i really do want you...
anything you want just say...and i`ll make sure it happens,to have you
and now i think its about time i stand up and ask this..cos the time is near
our love its picture perfect clear..sabrina my dear....
yes this is how it appears...im askin now if u would by my girl..
i really honestly dont give 2 fucks bout anyone else in this world...

The Girl-INST1GAT0R
Whattup Kerry, I don’t know if u remember me
But I think u sexy, and I never tried to pretend to be
Interested in you, because I find you amazing
But when u talk about your ex it drives me crazy
But that’s only because I want you to be with me baby
Fuck Supremacy and Instigator, this is eSenI
And I want to give you a little lesson why
You should be with me, because I love you more than Amy
Your are like the Beyonce to the Jay Z, you my baby
This like 06 Bonnie n Clyde, when you lonely ride
With me and I’ll show you that I’ll love you even if you died
My Kerry I love you, I gave up smoking chronic
Jus to make you happy, here’s a new drug, you on it?
Cus I am, its called love, and it’s all between me and you
Fuck every other girl in this world, I jus wanna be seein YOU!!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303969
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303998

[Soule]

DOPE STURCTRE AND PLOT. This was a very good peice. I liked both verses. the structre was great and so was the story line. The wordplay was mature and brought out a great flow to it. The rhyme skeme was nuice as well. the creativty and imagenary put some great images in my head. So for this peice heres a 9-10. Keep writing both of you. You should try out for SS next season.

~LeX

[Witty]

this was quite a good read, it was emotional, however I think that both could have dropped a lot better here, it was lacking in vocab and complexity, I did however like reading it solely because of the emotion, that is what kept me interested,it is definitely not a bad peice, but both could have dropped a lot better than this. keep at it.

[Summit Ave.]

A good read from both. You both showed, emotion,imagery,wording,plot,structure, and scheme. The topic was played but what ever. The flow was decent as well.

-Mc Mystique

[Tragedian.]

upp...

[Engivale]

Nice job here, fellas, your thoughts about these women have come clear and I associate with the stories you tell. I have to agree with Witness, myself being a bit of an elitist, that the vocabulary used and the rhythmic structure were both a C+ at best, I'm not saying use more big words, I'm saying use better words to tell your story. Also, without internal rhyme scheme, it shows that the work was more scribbled out than thought about, if you get me. It takes a lot more time to tell a story with an internal structure because of the difficulty it presents.

Still, my critical-ness aside, I still read this and decided to respond just based on your emotions on this piece, I hope you guys can scale down your love here, though, I mean in real life, don't get all this "I'll do anything for you baby! You're my world!" shit going on when you're in your teens... get your SHIT done, guys. Your school, your money, your family and friends. One girl can make that shit go through the roof if you handle it wrong.

I'm just saying... trying to protect you younger guys... I'm only 21, a baby myself, but I've done the whole teenage love thing, and it can cripple you.