Ephemeral Moments

[Client]

Ephemeral Moments

Trapped in a web of strings

Defying gravity, speeding over great lands and foreign seas
Dipping and weaving nature’s punches thrown towards me
Gusts of wind and cyclones depicting violence for the future
Premonitions couldn’t foresee reality’s cold shoulder ahead

The wind at my back, pushing me faster...

Flying at defining speeds, a fly’s worst nightmare turned real
Unconscious when I crashed, stickiness detracted my breath
Realizing death, squirming uncontrollably unable to breathe
In an instance them eyes glared at me, pausing humanity

Paranoia evolves into cerebration manifestation...

Stuck in a web of thoughts, I became strangled by emotions
My inability to escape caused commotion as my body numbed
Hoping I’m strangled by this web before the spider devours
Motivation of escaping dimmed as his glowered stare entered my vision

There is no coming back, the ultimate rush...

A last squirm for life failed, he pounced on my fragile body frame
Suffocating my life slowly, plotting his feast at the round table
When a sudden earthquake made this web unstable, causing paranoia
He gave one last glare as human termination ceased our existence

The cycle of life must be kept.

[Client]

upp

[Client]

bump

[Engivale]

Sorry it took a while for me to get back to you on this one. I liked the story because I'm a big proponent of animal rights down to the smallest fly... The language was really cool, I don't get into the poetry as much because I think it sounds better when rhymed more precisely, it rolls off the tongue for me better, but that's just personal. But for what this is, it is pretty damned cool and the story really kept me into it.

I liked the description of what it would be like to be dying and having no real chance of not escaping, and then you just kind of crushed it all with the wave of a hand from a person - shows what we can do to an entirely different world without giving it thought.

I always appreciate feedback on my work, if you can, check out "The Journey to Carnal Desire," and give me an honest opinion... it is kind of out there. I wrote it kind of late, but I wanted to write =D

[Chris Black]

This was nice. I think one line stood out so much that I have to mention it.

There is no coming back, the ultimate rush...

This is insanely dope and so true. There is no rush like knowing there is no coming back. Really dope.

[Client]

thanks a lot man appreaciated. up

[P. Mortuus]

Nice, i liked this, the way it started was very good and the 1st person prospective you took of the fly was acted up very well. I liekd the poetic emphasis and then the way you personified nature was very well .I always like a dose of personification and it was done ver well in here. Something which to me added to the overall quality was the overall layout and how you set everything out. Another thing, the way you showed how a person ceases existences of a fly and a spider both with this whoel life and death situation goin on adds to the irony that us humans would not even think about the situtation more than a minute and that to only to think of cleaning our hands or some absurd thing as such. OVerall, i liked this, nice and clever...Stay up.