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Thread: Impeccable Words...(unlocked)...

  1. #1
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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    Impeccable Words...(unlocked)...

    I dropped 'New Comer', & the attention to my name start expanding
    It's defeats I'm handing , it's my words now the public demanding
    I'm reprimanding these pitiful MC's with lyrics that are so intense
    I spit flames that can't be rinsed, ya'll kept fire extinguishers ever since
    The consequence u suffer from me in a rap battle is devastating
    I love to eradicate the elite and newbz, so of course I'm never hating
    A flawless record I'm anticipating, but there might be 1 that's eligible
    But they say if my lyrics wasn't already marvelous, they'd be incredible
    Conceited...nah, I just a fella with immense knowledge fully embraced
    Now go set up that battle, because I'm already waiting trully in-place
    I've received 2 much flak, stating this piece was a self-glory
    It's a few of u all worth hearing, obviously everyone else bore me
    It takes time 2 elevate, yeah, the process may be slow
    I can tell when u cats mad, ya'll be in the background singin' Ne-Yo
    4 those that I've demolished lately, believe that I meant well
    These O-M's isn't braggin' about me, just giving ya'll a little intel
    NotarizedArtistry
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    "Superb Individual"

  2. #2
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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  3. #3
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Sending Shots.
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    NOw that's a Nice piece put together well......
    "Dissin me is the quickest way to a shot @ the best."

  5. #5
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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  6. #6
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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  7. #7
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    This piece was pretty good, it fell off in some places but you were quck to pick it back up. The flow was decent, structure was good, you had some metas, i think you could have added some more multis to the piece. It was creative in some places and some places could have been more creative. THe imegry was okay. Over all this was a pretty good read. Keep up the good work.

  8. #8
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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    'ppreciate the feed...
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  9. #9
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    I'm just not feeling any good rhythm to this, it's very much like your last piece, short and kind of simple... You fail to use multies in your rhymes to the tune that I think helps guide the reader to the flow of your beat.

    I finally believe that the corner is turned-
    I've binded my cleaved heart disorder and learned...

    That is an example of good multies - they can help structure your piece and make it sound better rhythmically. What you are doing is simply italicizing the words that rhyme and seperating them out between a bunch of off-syllable counted lines, with word choices that either draw out or shorten the lines.

    Keep it up, there's potential and room for improvement, I just always tend to get pretty honest with my feedback.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  10. #10
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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    I'm always willing to listen to feed...but with my O-M's, I'm not that driven to use alot of multi's...if u want to see how I use my multi's...go to my battle in Front Lines vs. LickWid...vote if u can...
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  11. #11
    ..defined eradication.. Relli_Mak's Avatar
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  12. #12
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  13. #13
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  14. #14
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    Uppin for feed...damn peeps...
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  15. #15
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