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Last edited by Illus'; November 23rd, 2008 at 02:46 PM
Up...
this is short don't be lazy.
Drop is dope as always, but i've seen better from you, i hope whomever you may be talk'n about doesn't get offended lmao but structure could be better, word choice is great, vocab isn't too complex nor basic, im impressed as always
Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
Stress oceans try to drown me
Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon
short but sweet and dope i really liked this drop it was pretty nice,had some multies and good flow u made this complex but not to complex which i liked i was feelin the topic and im sure all these lazy fucks who dont feed were to i dont know why great drops get slept on but meh not much we can do
flow on this drop was pretty nice it didnt fall off at any time
u had some really good lines that caught my eye none of them made me say WOW tho
ur topic as good as it was...it was still pretty played but yours did stand out
and im hoping to read more from you on less played topics in the future
please check my new drop if u get the chance.
Notarized Perfectionism
short but excellent. my favorite part was the see thru yo jeans part. u could have better wordplay u had sum decent multis in it. some of the time u could have fixed ur wording. but meh its all good overall a lil over average post
Artis, this was a nice drop, this was someing kind of different to me, never read something like that before, based on what you wrote about, but your vocab was good, this topic was interesting, you stead on point with this(not many people do that now), you had some good multi's, your flow was pretty good, structure was nice. But yeh man all the rest of your verse was good i enjoyed it, it didnt bore me and it had a couple good parts to it.
Keep it up man.
ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE
Appreciate the feed back.
No not one of my best but I haven't wrote in a little
and I was listening to this nice beat so I figured hey
let me take a stab at it practice a bit before I
drop something real.
dope flow. ace wording. interesting conception at certain parts here and there........
had nice poetry at the core........ had emotion in da flow as well which was coo.......
rhyme scheming was illy ......... was a tad short. like maybe ida like to see a few mo bars f'sho. coz flo was tite
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dope script man. i could really feel the anger and hatred. rhyme scheme is nice too.
clean flow keeps the lines going.
good shit.
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Sickening flow.. there was some nice poetic lines that im used to from you, but not as much.. but yea.. it was just venting.. umm the was a few rhyming words that i didnt really like.. but i did like the piece
Shifting your body for a response , a dance of death,
awaiting a last breath , I'm caressing a heartless chest.
^ that bit had mad relations to my own life situations
yeah. turned out pretty nice for just a vent..looking forward to all these pieces you have in the works. later.