Ok thank's nice feed. Much appreciated. I will leave feed but when I get the chance, ok.
Ok thank's nice feed. Much appreciated. I will leave feed but when I get the chance, ok.
Up..
I liked the story telling. It was nice. I saw some emotion but not tons, it was still pretty good though. Imagery was decent, vocabulary was ok. It was an alright piece in my opinion, not the best I've seen. I thought it could have been better if you ditched the diary idea though. To me the piece loses it's reality when i see someone rhyming in their diary, especially in a time like that when their would have been plenty of scatterbrained thoughts..... It was a great idea, but couldv'e been improved. Pretty good job though.
-I.
On the wings of maybe..
this is quite ill .... this piece is like jhood piece the concept really, but jus a different topic. i felt the structure it flowed real well with the vocabulary. but i felt cry had nore emotion in his part but both did a great job...keepp writing fams
simply....
...dope..
Thank's for the feed everyone. Leave link's & I will get back at them.
thanks ya'll.
Last Up..
Infamouz- Meh. I really felt your parts were lagging on. Like the 1st and 2nd verse were almost identical in story, although I thought you had some weak lines, some phrases caught my attention, I really felt a rotten dreery mood coming from your verse, and it didn't seem to merge together with the sorrowfull/all is lost persona Cry's verse took.
Cry- I thought your verse was stronger, prlly cause it got deeper into the story, but I enjoyed some of your lines, the story one was tight. I Like the monotone style of it, but I think you could have brought it together with more of an impact -twists in the story, etc.
Overall, this was a solid read..
Stay up
RTF |The Devil May Testify|
Peace.
Thank's for your feed. Much appreciated.
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