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Thread: Blue Lines With Red Bordered Margins

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Blue Lines With Red Bordered Margins

    Grab'n the magic staff,converting allusions to thoughts
    w/a tad bit of math,add’n a delicate phrase is equal to a fleet of lots
    Transfer’n knowledge to ink,emotional verse-words tear when blink
    Saddened cuts burn w/ in, when cried on wounds it produces a wet sting
    Convicted of sorrow, Im serving time by far, an it wont give me a check
    Will I wake tomorrow? Trapped behind bars,
    no jail house but my heads locked in the pen
    Will I stumble w/ steps? Or will I persist in jotting down life for every regret?
    Loved by God? He cut short my life’s legs,soon end to see the Devil…my friend
    No definition in my virtues, I’ll list my name in dictionaries to see if I have a meaning
    Holy scriptures? those scrolls, baby my existence, bitting w/ in me as if they were teething
    Why follow ink Written on papyrus? details u need to find it, other religions willing to mount it
    While the facts are blinded like scarlet curtains in opera houses
    At the end of earning, when soil begins turning, an hidden truth are untapped from bury
    The years will be reduced w/ mischief an false, once laundry not cleaned is now laundry w/ out dirty
    But as this goes on words become meaning less, and ink….”whats ink” comes in
    After all the eras of writtens are just know as…
    ….blue lines w/ red bordered margins…
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    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  2. #2
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    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    hum. seem like mostly feminine rhymes. ok. great even in a poetic sense. not maybe so in the rap music sense. w/e... seem like tru tite writing. nice layout and grasp of dicytion of vocab is obviously up............... nothing jumped out or amzed me as fatr as the concept and content goed. meaning no excitement or crazy mettas....... but yeah straight forward but well written still. had some exceled imagery on the real tho......yeah did get quite sic w those lil mettas at the end

    yeah

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  4. #4
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    thanks....4 the feed
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    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppn
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    ♪A.S. Productions♪


    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppn 4 feed
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    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  7. #7
    Banned Lord of Pens's Avatar
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    This piece was ok. Your flow was a little choppy but it wasn't a very big deal. Your rhyme scheme was different and I like that. Good use of multi's but sometimes it was a little stretched. The concept flowed smoothly. Emoton was shown but not drastically. Good work overall though. Keep writing.

  8. #8
    Expression Is Everything XM's Avatar
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    Ok piece didn't flow as well as it could, vocabulary was pretty basic and structure could've been better an very odd topic and title, honestly i really wasn't feeling it maybe it cuz its not something im really use to reading and it wasn't really hit'n to me becuz of that maybe i'll check out another piece to see if i get the same reaction i did with this one
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon

  9. #9
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    aight thanks...4 the feed
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    ♪A.S. Productions♪


    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppsz
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    ♪A.S. Productions♪


    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

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