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Thread: Schizophrenic Conversation

  1. #1
    too good to be true
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    Schizophrenic Conversation

    pain and misery i wrought, while the alter egos i fought
    the many voices in this head weren't thinkin the same thoughts
    another insane brain brought to u by our god the creater
    i don't hate her but i stood with a knife in hand to await her
    i'm not a hater, and yet i am, am i a murderer, maybe
    some would call this condition biological, most call it crazy
    her name was stacey, the mommy, tommy and I hid quietly
    silently we agreed that her death would be a neat site to see
    i guarentee it was me, tommy was just an influence
    a nuisence, only there to give away his two cents
    it made sense, hence my willingness to agree with him
    be with him, even meet his friends jim and tim
    they busted in, completely random, the tandem stopped the fun
    said we were insane still wanting death, your the son!
    we were stunned, all of us standing in this portal to nowhere
    i was told to beware of their glare, so i dared not go there
    it wasn't fair, the debate could create a state of nothing
    something in my head wanted to leave this fucking..
    ...place, i raced to the face of death, taking breaths
    i wouldn't dare to mess with or confess this guess
    we were all related in some way, shape, or form
    informed of this disturbance, i rushed out like a storm
    they were controlling, i had no say in any matter
    so it didn't matter what i said in this constant pitter patter
    i looked back and saw them fighting, this might be the end
    no need to mend, i'll just send my farewells to this friend
    i wont defend, i reminded myself that i was simply entwined
    so i killed myself..
    ...and now theres one less alter ego in this little boys mind

  2. #2
    too good to be true
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    Last edited by Automatic.; July 23rd, 2006 at 11:53 PM

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest
    this was very good man. I loved the story liner and the wordplay. It was very mature in many ways. The flow was straight throughout the whole OM which is very good. The rhyme Skeme was very well done and that is kinda hard to do now-a-days. I give this peice a 10-10. Keep writing man. *Goes To Nominate*

    ~LeX

  4. #4
    too good to be true
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    thanks for the feed and nomination homie, much appreciated.

    rise.

  5. #5
    Banned White Dice's Avatar
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    i agree with Lex this is HoF material ima nominate it

    can u please leave feedback on the link in mah sig

  6. #6
    too good to be true
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    thank u thank u

    rise

  7. #7
    Banned
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    I don't think it's HoF material honestly....Tim and Atticus and Ta2 have been dropping dope and they ain't getting nominations...no hate...but toher than that...it was an excellent read Auto. I liked the wording and imagery...some emotion, but there could have been a little more. I liked the topic and concept...good title for it too....not bad at all. Like I said I liked it, not HoF material IMHO though. Peace...hit my OM Divine Intervention.

  8. #8
    too good to be true
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    cool

  9. #9
    too good to be true
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    u whores

  10. #10
    Soule
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    lol can you Return The favor by leaving feed in thwe OM called "Incredible? Part One" Please. It aint dope but its a peice.

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    W00t, i loved this peice, you really imagined yourslef being inside his mind and made every detail as good as possible

    something in my head wanted to leave this fucking..
    ...place, i raced to the face of death, taking breaths
    i wouldn't dare to mess with or confess this guess
    we were all related in some way, shape, or form
    informed of this disturbance, i rushed out like a storm

    I loved that bit, almost the best bit in the whole rap, apart from

    don't hate her but i stood with a knife in hand to await her
    i'm not a hater, and yet i am, am i a murderer, maybe
    some would call this condition biological, most call it crazy

    that bit, now that was the best part, for sure
    Back. Again.

  12. #12
    ф»¤Tier One Crew¤«ф Summit Ave.'s Avatar
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    I liked this peice. Exspecially the wordplay, and the scheme. Decent way to put this om' together. Vocab was good an fitted decently. Keep up the work my friend.

    -mc mystique

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    I've Created A Monster
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  13. #13
    too good to be true
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    thanks

  14. #14
    too good to be true
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    yep

  15. #15
    High As Fuck, Above All Lawd's Avatar
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    look at my nigga auto, this shit was good son, nice piece good flow, i can see what ur talking about, it was a well writen piece, structure was good n' the set up, the wordplay was on point, & the rhyme scheme, vocab fit well with the flow, u didn't use to much or not enough which is good, again nice piece
    TNL

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