[Pandora's Box vs. The Artis'Tree]
Topical Battle.
20-30 Lines
Due Next Tuesday at Midnight
Check-Ins due by Friday
House Rules.
No Crew Ups.
Blind Spit.
Topics.
Prayer of a Mother
Lost Illusions
Barb Wire
Delicate Desert
The Blue Ladder
Elemental Struggles
Two Days Early
Green Eyes, Blue Eyes
Warm Showers
Fat Tueday
The Chance I never Got
Devoirs in a Diamond eye
The Nobel Deathtrap
Poles of Salvation
The Road to Utopia
check.....G/L
Word
Poetic Tragedy
Green Eyes, Blue Eyes
She casts such a vague disguise, within her vacant eyes
Storm-weathered painted nights unveiling tainted light
In a way its like, she never notices even a scab of change
Because by the end of the day, her light’s the last to fade
A subtle masquerade, of one and the same cover engraved
Compelled upon a single-sole entity that colors her face
So she becomes a mother of change, smiling in contrast
From cerulean blue to emerald when sun comes in contact
But beneath the brightened iris, aloft each strand of hue
Lied a man confused who knew how to unmask the truth
At first she believed him, tempted by the beauty to hold
To the point the fake affliction began consuming them both
So she proclaimed it as false, no eyes so bright could vary
From one color to another, such amend she did not carry
He was very discreet, in every way that he buried his feet
Yet so scared he’d be seen, he reached a perilous peak
Your dyes never changed said the mirror, now suddenly dim
A disguise of truth covered lies, he so cunningly whipped
The change in eyes was but a vague disguise…
Of two entirely separate entities that both claimed his life
^Nice drop, i'll drop by tommorow.
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
2 Days Early
The consequences of hurrying a creation
The infested inhabitants lurched at tit bits of informal information
The pedantic placation sued who grew the strew called population
The mother’s nature that nurtured the children forlornly grew weary
When offspring pierced her eyes and mocked her when she grew teary
The child gleefully repaid her with chainsaws and swayed to claim for
Their demands to be met and cut her legs for store to store more lore
First she was sold in plots so poignant plotters could plan and plot
To build on her scathed remains they laughed and claimed rhapsody
The worse it got was the more they shot, chasms made to show the blot
They stopped the claims but pointed to shame and alas began the parody
A failed teaching
The action of the parent who wasn’t fervent to display their rare reaction
Sent only weathered warnings to stop the forming of artificial spawning
But still the tube grew to grow seeds into the mass and form a faction
Test tube seeds hailed science mocked the natural alliance every morning
The mother was long forgotten now converted to roads and street nooks
Vandalised by intoxicated bastards who wet the lapels of the mothers corpse
Brash parlours built on religious bearings were home to home lustful crooks
Who were ravaged by audacious and obese alike, oh how the child warps
The Present Scenario
The land as now known was once the mother, the mother who was fractured
Therefore, the baby now old pointed at the mother it had willingly captured
Maybe the baby never understood the natural lady that carried her ashore
When you are told to clean litter tell me have you ever remembered before
Epilogue
The burly impostor you idolise is the ideal painting of a child grown surly
See the spoil and accept God made this world …………..2 days too early
Wellthat's done and dusted, may the voting begin...G/L
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
Originally Posted by Exact
I aint even a part of this battle but your sure gonna pray to your mother
for help and companionship for your colegues and u refer as brothers//
U thinkin u seein the light when really it's lost Illussion's
ur wishin u really had what it takes but I came and delluted//
the only chance u had so now your walkin on barbedwire
I relize u hope to see A desert of gold so delacately vivid
infront of your eye's today with a blue ladder for the entrance init//
But my Elemental powers got u into a struggle beyhond belief
have u infront of your tomb 2 days early showin your grief//
U wep blue tears from green eye's and still felt a load of pain
while your face was filled with a river of warm showers
We celebrated fat tuesday with blast off of a BEGINNER"S power//
The chance I never got was chance that I now TOOK
Devoirs in a Devil's eye "Whatever" It's still my verse they all look//
And as I put u both into this Nobel Deathtrap
hold u down with pins of salvation and take over cuz u capped//
and now I'm walkin down the road to Utopia with certafied ROAD MAP//
eat shyt and die....
I learn quickly...
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Leave cooment and don't right bullshit as your verse wasn't great.uppin'^
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
Uppin numero deux
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
Uppin tres^.........come on so many views and not one vote for any of us...HONEST and EXPLAINED needed.....
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
k. voting time.
wtf @ 206's reply....
anyway's
ace of aces
your verse had a decent flow about it
...although i'm not familiar with much of your work
i feel you had potential to put together a much better piece
there was some nice imagery in this, however some areas seemed simple
overall it was a good read and the topic was fairly well covered
7/10
pakaveli
most of your piece displayed an abunance of imagery
...and i feel you covered the topic really well
The Present Scenario
The land as now known was once the mother, the mother who was fractured
Therefore, the baby now old pointed at the mother it had willingly captured
Maybe the baby never understood the natural lady that carried her ashore
When you are told to clean litter tell me have you ever remembered before
Epilogue
The burly impostor you idolise is the ideal painting of a child grown surly
See the spoil and accept God made this world …………..2 days too early
these line stood out to me, well contructed poetry here^
9/10
vote- pakaveli
if u say so.
uppin for votes.
AoA: You ha good internals with great flow.The wordplay could have been better chozen by the way it was easy to read. The rhyme skeme was good. The creativty and imagenary were ok. Tis story you did was well done. I give this peice a 8-10 Have fun. G'Luck.
VS
Pak: These internals were fairly weak. And the flow was ok but not great. The creativty and imagenary was great. The wordplay was nice. I didnt really car for this story. Just didnt get my interest like AoA's did. 7-10. Nice try Pak.G'Luck as well.
Vote///Ace Of Aces for a better peice.
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