Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Time..(Leave Feedback pls)

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Lex-Town
    Age
    35
    Posts
    22

    Time..(Leave Feedback pls)

    Well Hey I know Im still Beggining ... But tell me what you think...pls leave constrictiv critiscm

    Time (Time)
    Time is of the essence
    Time (Time)
    I left him but he didnt leave me - i felt his presence
    Time (Time)
    I've broke alot of rules done stupid things maybe a couple ammendments
    Time (Time)
    But from what gods done in my life cordially it has to be intendant
    Time (Time)

    Time its what everyone thinks we've mastered
    But really in this problem its just one we've fractured
    And Captured, but let loose to be what it be
    But what you think would happen if Aj said to Free
    Its over im gone- Im on to MTV
    Thats what i think sometimes happens to me
    Its like sometimes I feel thats how it is with this Bullet and this Pistol
    Its like gods the rocket launcher, hit the ignition set off my missel
    Trifully soulfully out of it, cryin
    Get the medics on the line cause im soulfully, dyin
    Im tryna figure out if i've consume all i can consume
    If I have God sign right here so i can fill out my resignation of resume
    Prelude to it all i want to go back to time and maybe start this
    Is it a gift from god or just hood abillity im a lyrical artist?
    Like people in life are like "god" im so glad i found and caught him"
    They act like hes rare like catchin and fratanizin with osama bin laden
    I just wana rewind.. if you know what i mean?
    But only man, If i had a time machine.

    Time (Time)
    Time is of the essence
    Time (Time)
    I left him but he didnt leave me - i felt his presence
    Time (Time)
    I've broke alot of rules done stupid things maybe a couple ammendments
    Time (Time)
    But from what gods done in my life cordially it has to be intendant
    Time (Time)
    Last edited by *Swish*; July 15th, 2006 at 11:26 AM
    "Where I Am Not Wise - I Speak Not"

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/Jordan.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>*Swish* <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/KoBe.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Lex-Town
    Age
    35
    Posts
    22
    Constructive critiscism please..
    "Where I Am Not Wise - I Speak Not"

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/Jordan.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>*Swish* <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/KoBe.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

  3. #3
     
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,170
    Battle Record
    52-21
    this was not a good piece imo, i think u can work on alot of things, 1 being ur imagination, and 2 being ur presence and structure..u can switch up ur rhymescheme a lil and it might be better, also if u use a good vocabualry it would be better.....elevate keep workign on these...4/10
    Last edited by Silent_Killa911; July 15th, 2006 at 06:46 PM
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Lex-Town
    Age
    35
    Posts
    22
    What? it wasnt that bad
    "Where I Am Not Wise - I Speak Not"

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/Jordan.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>*Swish* <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i261/ALOUNZO/KoBe.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

  5. #5
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Age
    36
    Posts
    873
    Battle Record
    2-5
    Overall everything was pretty simple and Basic, easy rhyme scheme, wordplay and vocab wasn't anything eye popping, IMO if you switch up the flow so it reads alot smoother, and get ya concept and imagery to the point quicket, shorten ur bars you'll elevate nicely, i'll be looking for your next drop. stay up and keep blessin

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

  6. #6
    Talent. Omega.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    IJL
    Posts
    867
    Battle Record
    5-1
    this was basic...nice read but lacked interest and crowd attraction ya heard get your attraction up and imagery and gaurantee alot more respect and get more metaz and structure your self right


    RTF on the link in the sig
    Insane Joker Lyricists


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Lyrics Feedback pls
    By GRAND APATHY in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: January 3rd, 2011, 12:12 PM
  2. Pls Leave Feedback On My Beat!
    By *Swish* in forum The Studio
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: July 12th, 2006, 04:34 PM
  3. Feedback pls.
    By Dapump in forum Graphic Designs
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: August 8th, 2005, 04:54 AM
  4. Menace II Society-pls leave feedback
    By absolutezero in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: June 1st, 2004, 12:09 PM
  5. The Priest View- pls leave feedback
    By absolutezero in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 28th, 2004, 09:24 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •