When Great Minds Collide ft. LegendZ

[Jon]

"When Great Minds Collide"

As real life strife continues to come up on daily menus,
the laws flaws hit like steal claws causing varieties of venues.
Heroes mentioned – mentioned heroes with false claims,
famous beings with more things, get the label of the name.
Lame to think that legends went to heaven watching this occur,
kids slur words, gangs, gang bangs, younger kids, curse words, refer.
Never smoked, but watch others choke because of dope
I see them mope about, life crashed on the airplane of hope
To separate the greats from ordinary takes time to see
knowing if people on TV disagree with the rest of society.
For an instant, take this for instance, what if it is just,
lack of lust busts open the state of mind from us. It must
be something about me that stays inside reluctantly, a
thought inside of me that aught to be erased from my memory.
Should be moved into the category of history, forgotten
from fame, skills tame unframed, as pieces of me rotten.

My Random Introspective

sitting here alone - a lone some man who loaned some hands
from time to time only to find time to rhyme is of the essence
essentially time develops itself mentally - but mental ease
i never experienced physically though physics of mind developed a chemistry
chemically combined like ions - i kept my eye on the prize for eons
and had to let bygones be beyonds and still i BE ON
that old school tip but my old school's tips never taught shit like knowledge
but rakim taught me to know-the-ledge so why college?
Collage of thoughts and sentences sentence menaces to penances
like courts of law but of course the law is biased so I stick to high bias mixtapes
your mistake is thinking shit's fake.......yeah cause shit is so real and surreal like dali images
imagine your self image as your nemesis cause self images should be limitless
like infinity – infinitely - pauper's thoughts will seek sovreignity
meanwhile sovreignity seeks divinity endlessly
life becomes a chess game of ego dependency - a status disease
like being the fattest emcees or the dopest
even the pope is guilty of false benevolence
the present tense president faces evidence of malevolence
honestly honesty would seem heaven sent like proverbs
while i sing psamls in odd words of sorrows from no sixpence
then I use my sixth sense to try to rationalize existence

Jonathon- 1st Verse
LegendZ- 2nd Verse

[Jon]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301246
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301161

Ok.. Lets get some feed please.

[Infinite Intelligence]

these two styles are so similar that it made this the most fluent OM ive seen in a long while. the flow from both of you is just amazing and the fact that you stayed on topic the entire time is fanominal! once i re-read it, the imagery was definatly there. its just clouded by the impecible flow. i beleive anybody can just breeze through, reading and enjoying this peice just as much or more than any peice ive ever seen. i loved this!!! your forms of wordplay were very original, for ex.

Heroes mentioned – mentioned heroes and sitting here alone - a lone some man, made for more complexity and originality, it's what seperates this from every other peice on OM. DAMN this was amazing!!! in my point of veiw this is going to be hard for any "vet" writers to top! exellent job guys, legendary!

[Andrew..]

Good flow with great multis throughout your whole verse from both. Very complex with your verse same with Legendz. You both had the same style with the multis and metas. Imagery was shown here and there in boths verse. Overall very nice piece. Keep at it.

[Midwest Patriots]

great collab

first verse warmed up for the second which just went over top

life becomes a chess game of ego dependency - a status disease
like being the fattest emcees or the dopest
even the pope is guilty of false benevolence
^shit is hard as fuck - fav lines overall

crazy multis from both of you and a smooth flow. Makes me wanna go back to text.

To separate the greats from ordinary takes time to see
knowing if people on TV disagree with the rest of society.
For an instant, take this for instance, what if it is just,
lack of lust busts open the state of mind from us.
^fav lines from first verse


check this out for me Pure Ya'yo Produgtions

[Omega.]

Good flow with great multis throughout your whole verse from both. Very complex with your verse same with Legendz. You both had the same style with the multis and metas. Imagery was shown here and there in boths verse. Overall very nice piece. Keep at it.

exactly you too flowed off each other well like ya'll know each other like ht eback of your hand or some shit my dudes...nice complexity my dudes...and nice vocab aswell man...real nice i like the Multies and Metaz used in this piece to make it more creative and more of an interesting read rather than those serious ones that try too hard to get noticed..nice my dudes really nice..

RTF on the link in the sig.

[Nique.]

this was cool. both had some mechanical issues that bothered me that i'm going to address right now though.

kids slur words, gangs, gang bangs, younger kids, curse words, refer.

^too many words in that line. looks like you were forcing the rhyming aspect tremendously, especially since you ended it with 'refer'. Refer to what? can't end with refer. that's like ending with 'the'. just doesn't make sense to me.

Johnathon, besides that this was a pretty average point of view. You're a young writer, and I've seen better from you as of late, but this was cool for what it was.

LegendZ-You're a great, young writer, and will continue to improve greatly if you keep writing as consistently as you do, but out of all of your pieces, this was one of your more rushed parts. I actually had a hard time finding the flow in this one and the transition was off a lot at most parts. I also thought that you had kind of an overkill with alliteration. For example:

essentially time develops itself mentally - but mental ease

that old school tip but my old school's tips never taught shit like knowledge

Collage of thoughts and sentences sentence menaces to penances
like courts of law but of course the law is biased so I stick to high bias mixtapes

like infinity – infinitely - pauper's thoughts will seek sovreignity

honestly honesty would seem heaven sent like proverbs

In this verse, I can tell that you sacrificed content for flow, and you usually don't do that in any of your pieces. You purposely tried to flow to a point where I can't even tell you what you're talking about at some parts. sentences sentence menace to penances? yes, it rhymes, but what are you talking about? I dunno.

Strongest part of both verses were flow (obviously), like everyone mentioned above me, but content wise you both lacked to a point where I think that the portrayal of your title could've been executed better. Keep it at. You two are easily the future of this forum.

[Jon]

Uppin.. Thanks for feed Nique Onus and Dedication.

I was just going to try this new style that I've seen around the OM section latly. LegenedZ and Nique use it most frequently. Thanks.. More feed please.

[mc pyro.]

great peice here nice job with this i liked the topic seemed like a good vs evil type thing cause ya'll talke about one thing then compare it to another so that was cool the flow was dope everythin wit that came together perfectly and just kept going and going the vocab was tight saw a lot of that and nice wordplay as well the lines seemed a good length some seemed a bit stretched but thats ok great job 9.5/10
leave feed on my om pureness

[P. Mortuus]

THis flowed like flows the river. It was written very well, I liked the 1st person prospective and a present tense style being opted for. I found Jonathons verse to be edgin more towards a social standpoint, like his views on society. I liked that cause many a time i have opted to do the same. Legendz ripped the multiples apart like DAmn. Sounded a lot like Vortex in his prime.

chemically combined like ions - i kept my eye on the prize for eons
and had to let bygones be beyonds and still i BE ON

The whole un un of that flwo was excellent.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read, Stay up.

[Jon]

Uppin

[Rah Gwahn]

yea this was a nice read, some parts flowed better than some others.. bu overall both styles complimented eichother and made this a nice read, with a good rhyme sheme and a nice immagery. keep it up.