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Thread: The Prophecy of the Highwayman.

  1. #1
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    The Prophecy of the Highwayman.

    The Prophecy of the Highwayman.

    He stood, robe fluttering, muttering non-decipherable words
    three days he had walked without sign of a wagon, or even heard
    A carrion bird kept a constant watch on him, as if he would drop dead
    His backpack began to feel like lead,
    Ahead he saw only horizon mixed in with dancing heat waves
    Played strings on his mind, expected when water depraved
    He thought he had been brave, yet he was to this desert enslaved
    His destiny paved, he knew he had to walk this path
    Father after father, had endured the very same wrath
    Without aid they wandered the forsaken highway
    Night and day, till it seemed your skin was clay
    But within the disarray came the visions he inherited at birth
    To the clan of the desert people his journey was there worth
    For the wisdom he returned with would be there survival
    Upon arrival they would praise him,,,
    ……………………….Sometimes a tactic against a rival
    at this moment he cared nothing for the vision
    trouble putting feet in front of each other with precision
    his decision to leave was mostly of his own…
    but still he wondered why he had to do it alone


    At last he came to the oasis,
    Vegetation spotted certain places
    Embraced by flowers flowing in the dry wind
    Despite himself he grinned
    Water poured into a pond with an altar
    His step quickened and didn’t falter

    He practically fell into the water
    Gulping down swigs, between laughter
    He looked up awed at the sacred relic
    Now appearing before him almost angelic

    A pain in his forehead stopped his thirst
    The throbbing grew, feeling as if it would burst
    At first it hit him with surprise, now he stood attentive
    As the first images began to flicker presented
    A demented scene, fire licked buildings
    Dark forms moved among the streets
    The beat of drums thundered in death beats
    People stacked in the middle of the city
    Dead and burning, he looked on them with pity
    Again the vision shifted,
    Now the valley stood a smoldering pit
    His shoulder slumped, it was his home split
    The transmitted imaged ended in a hush
    He walked away soul crushed
    Bearing the mark of the black skull on his forehead
    His people would know, the prophecy held true as was said
    The man retuning showing the mark, brought news of doom
    He was the first to return without hope to resume

    He turned from the waters…
    Already with enough to return
    He began again on his way heart full of concern
    For his people no future… only destruction
    And he would bring the finale instruction
    READ MORE

  2. #2
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    Last edited by Twixn...; July 12th, 2006 at 12:54 AM
    READ MORE

  3. #3
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    and up.
    READ MORE

  4. #4
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    .
    READ MORE

  5. #5
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    boo.
    READ MORE

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    THis was pretty good, i liked ther dlow and you kept a tidy structure for a long piece of work which is good to see. The imagery (meta's, description etc) it was there ans made the piece more enjoyable overall. Some parts kind of touched on the burning tree of God thing and all and i liked how his wishful journey only acted as a catalyst for the conclusion. The only thing i disliked about this piece of work was the inconsistant wording. In parts the wording would be good but in others plain awkard. Other than that it was all good.

    Also, i'll preciate it if you could leave some comments on this OM:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300869
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  7. #7
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    thanks.
    READ MORE

  8. #8
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    no body loves me.
    READ MORE

  9. #9
    Mister. Andrew..'s Avatar
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    Beautiful story was told in your peice. I really enjoyed the whole story side and how the imagery showed every picture in my head. Possible the best imagery I have read in a while. The strong vocabulary and the great imagery caught me on right from the start which kept me reading the whole thing. Thats the biggest strong point of this peice. I liked this alot. Keep at it.
    Back.

  10. #10
    Talent. Omega.'s Avatar
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    i liked your story line it caught me well on from start to finish my dude...loved the imagery and emotion you made me feel quivers and ill shit my dude...lol. nice fam really was put and structured,,,vert pro like presented my dude ill shit!


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  11. #11
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    heh i will return favors later...

    thanks guys.

    last up.
    READ MORE

  12. #12
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
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    or one more.
    READ MORE

  13. #13
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pakaveli
    THis was pretty good, i liked ther dlow and you kept a tidy structure for a long piece of work which is good to see. The imagery (meta's, description etc) it was there ans made the piece more enjoyable overall. Some parts kind of touched on the burning tree of God thing and all and i liked how his wishful journey only acted as a catalyst for the conclusion. The only thing i disliked about this piece of work was the inconsistant wording. In parts the wording would be good but in others plain awkard. Other than that it was all good.

    Also, i'll preciate it if you could leave some comments on this OM:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300869

    DOn't check that link, cehck this one instead:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300854

  14. #14
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    This was dope bruh, I think you shined here. Brief, but since I have an invetory of stories in my memory, this fit well with things I've read before along the story lines. So, I used that to help fill inthe story where it was not concrete. Over, nice, I rather enjoyed the read, the technical things were done well. Well balanced and fluid...

    Loved the concept, good job on this...

    [YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
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    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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  15. #15
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    good drop twixs saw this in SS ill peep it here drop idea and concept liked the style you created in this piece you came with nice emotion and imagrey one of your best pieces in SS this season very strong idea liked it keep it up man

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301645

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