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Thread: As The Petals Fall

  1. #1
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    As The Petals Fall

    Tried a new format... hope y'all like it.

    As The Petals Fall

    Twisting, turning, softly resisting churning
    Suspended in air, they flutter and dance.
    An existing burning of passion, insisting yearning
    Is born inside me. Witnessing this subtle romance
    As they prance, merely momentarily airborne
    They drift. Displaying their acrobatic skills
    Charismatic wills, my emotions primarily torn.
    I am an ecstatic fanatic, dramatically ill.
    With an erratic will, still they aimlessly plummet.
    In the sunlight they reveal, flashing their colours
    Tumbling to the earth, yet reaching for the summit
    Each doomed to the ground to crash with their brothers.
    At last comes another, destined to the breezy slope.
    In need of a rope, it falls, wind beneath its curves
    Unable to pull itself back up, full of an uneasy hope.
    Downwards they go, in the breeze they swivel and swerve.
    My shrivelled nerve hurts, though they have my fears swallowed
    They are consumed with all the troubles I sought.
    And as the petals fall my tears are soon to follow
    She loves me. She loves me not.

    Link 1

    Link 2
    Last edited by Kalos Graphē; July 11th, 2006 at 01:43 AM
    I.J.L Reppin
    Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew

  2. #2
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    nice peice here, new style for u, and hard to flow with, but u kept it going, stayed on topic, and u really are gettin real good, you keep tryin with this shit, im expecting to see more from u, i like the vocab and use of it, the flow was nice, ur imagery was shockingly good, not that u succ, but that this is a hard topic, hard to get a grasp of real good imagery here, but straight, real nice keep it up, i rate this 8.5/10

    hit up the one in my sig, down in the right hand corner
    GREAT BATTLES


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    MY O.M.'s

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    SCYTSOPHRENIA

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    CUBIX BOX

  3. #3
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    thanks ho... quit sleepin bitches upp
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  4. #4
    CD for Free DL! Mixtape's Avatar
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    i like this alot ta2....the flow was a bit hard to follow cuz of the every other line thing but you keep it going and kept it alive...you did your thing with the new style...i agree with Ny your gettin real good....you better start doin audio someday...nice lyrics in this ...wording and everything was real good...nice rhyme scheme especially the creativity witht he every other line type scheme...im def feelin this alot man..keep up the good work...



    one MIX

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  5. #5
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    thanks fool and for all you bitches who dont kno...
    TA2 IS HITTIN THE BOOTH SO WATCH FOR ME!
    I.J.L Reppin
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  6. #6
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    risage.
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  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    It was short but sweet. This peice had good emotion to it, I liked the imagery used, but for some reason I wasn't able to paint a picture . See what short does to the creativity. *cries* j/p. Oh, and the rhyme scheme was nice.
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  8. #8
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    kk good feed... longer next time... just 4 u A.O.D
    I.J.L Reppin
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  9. #9
    Chop Chop Axe.'s Avatar
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    nice shit..i liked the deepness..also nice vocab in it...you had good complex multies and creative mettas...this was short an sweet....really nice piece..overall=8.9/10
    hot drop
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  10. #10
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    i wuv you phwade haha
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  11. #11
    Aged Like Fine Wine
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    ur shit was good like normal but i didnt like the text and i really did nt like the storyline i think u didnt pull it deep enough...i like the Wrlplay and how u alternated rhymes that was good...i was just wondrin how did u go from slaughterhouse and all cut this was not that way...to talkin about rose petal falling...i guess it will always be a mistry..but the peice overall was fair,...good job...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by GrimReapa
    ur shit was good like normal but i didnt like the text and i really did nt like the storyline i think u didnt pull it deep enough...i like the Wrlplay and how u alternated rhymes that was good...i was just wondrin how did u go from slaughterhouse and all cut this was not that way...to talkin about rose petal falling...i guess it will always be a mistry..but the peice overall was fair,...good job...
    wtf r u talkin about... i did not understand wut u said in that bolded section?
    I.J.L Reppin
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  13. #13
    Chop Chop Axe.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ta2_tears
    i wuv you phwade haha

    got dammit

    stopid

    for i just luv you foever and ever
    lmao
    CΛVEMEN
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  14. #14
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    lol i actually question our sexuality sometimes... upp 4 feed
    I.J.L Reppin
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  15. #15
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    well this was a nice sweet drop real koo and elegant!...nice complexity and deviation in emotions...my dude stay up this was great. nice multies and great vocab the story telling aswell was on point stay up my dude!..


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