.Pain.

[~SILENT~]

word bumping this HOT SIMPLE OM!

[Poetic Killer]

I liekdthis peice but uninfortuntly. I have to give it a bad rank due to the.....Just kidding. I lioked the flow and loved the structre. I enjoyed the imagenary and creativity. The wordplay was very mature. And story was plain out good. 9-10

~Poetic Killer

[~SILENT~]

thanks my dude will leave feed now on yours.

[Axe.]

nice drop...i liked the wordaply
i also liked the vocab and flow
.....nice mettas in there as well as
multies......keep it up..nice shit
9.2/10

[Kalos Graphē]

There's Philly B. MUTHAFUCKIN Sparkzz reppin WRITTEN VOICES and CLOSED CAPTION... BOW DOWN 2 OUR GREATNESS! haha... well done man well done... the topic was kinda played, but most love topics are... i really liked the quotes u placed in between verses... it was original and it had a huge impact on the piece in my mind... the emotion was all there and was very strong throughout the whole piece... the vocabulary was elevated and very intelligent... plus the rhymes was top notch... i liked to see the multis in there, i kno the last piece of urs i read was sort of lacking them... good work on improving in that area... i think ur weakest points on this piece was the structure and flow... the structure was kind of all over the place and the flow seemed 2 fall off every now and then... try and work on that to make it more consistent and easier 2 read... also revise b4 u post cuz there were alot of spelling errors... but all in all it was a good read... im not gonna do ur other 1 now cuz im kinda writing right now so keep reminding me until i do it kay... i'll try and do it 2morrow.. good work and ur crews r proud lol

[P. Mortuus]

beatiful quotes, i could feel the quotes flying into weaves of imagery and expression that created a good atmosphere in this piece. I liked the flow as the way you have laid the words allowed the flo to stay intact for the majority of the times. Lsatly, emotion was in this and it is good to see that there are people here who strive to up the standard of not only RB Open Mic but of also there own writing. Stay up na mean

[~SILENT~]

word thanks man upping this!

[Infinite Intelligence]

wow. very original structure. i liked the quotes between the verses that showed originality. i liked this, it had good emotion and it was well worded (unlike "she is my pain") ok moving along. the complexity was not bad but couldve been better, i still like the fact that you didnt force anything. the last verse was my favorite, it for the most part projected the feeling and thought you put into the verse, sort of evening it out. good job man.

[Relli-MaK]

Overall, the topic of this was tight. The emotion was flowing throughout the entire piece. Structure was good, also the format. This is a significant piece that needs to be posted periodically from others.

[~SILENT~]

thanks guys for the feed...not ima return the favor to ya'll especially to onus!...word!.

[Mr.Vodka.]

This was a very well structured piece.....You didn't miss a beat with this one....The topic Was a real real good one....and yo uplayed on well providing the reader with much needed imagery....similies DAMN ! straight similies.....emotion flowed through out and was felt deeply within.......I could actually understand your interpretation of pain and how affects one.....I felt that there was a message in this piece which is kinda different from other pieces I've read in O-M......and that I can Dig.....Keep that shit up man O-M needs pieces like this one .......overall 9.5/10



.
The past that holds my treasures in life
Now sleeps with the titanic in the cold and weary night.
The future that's said to hold my hopes and dreams
lay's on the dirt battered and bruised, left nothing but a blur to me.

favorite lines ^^^^

[~SILENT~]

thanks GAWD...upping this man......

[Blazin' Young]

nice peice man, really great emotion and you painted really good pictures aswell. your flow was consistant which is always good to see, and your structure was great. looking forward to veiwing another great peice from you my man, keep writing.

cheers n peace.

[~SILENT~]

thanks my dude upping this!.....

[Gifted Signs]

yeah you had me feeling this one too nice keep dropping OM like this I love this verse by you this was the one I was feeling the most in touch with

Too many tears i have cried.
caused from angered emotions that eats away my insides.
No longer can i endure this pain
As my name is shadowed behind, a broken and nameless frame.
an eternity of pain has caused me to believe
for a silth drop of happiness cannot be exchanged to me or achieved.
a fantasy to live with tranquility and peace
a nightmare of struggles, choked with a touch of pain and grieve.

I got Tranquility in Chinese Writing on my forearm and I try to live by it too keep doing it dawg

10/10