"Acid for the Birds"

[Atti]

The mango grows evergreens
As we pick the nooses holding
Niggers threaded by cocoons
Made of tangerine banana leaves.

The bull whips kiss the backs
Of pigeons with a tab of acid
Sifting below the slither.

Lets all make shadow puppets
Under the rainbow hues,
And the pigeon towed crows
Can plow the ocean's undertow
On the backs of unicorns so
Their feet never have to reach
The sea urchin's tattered cove.

The three winged pigeon wears
A monocle so he can view the
World through glass to feel
The dark side of the moon on display;
That way he can be alittle closer
To that man on the moon without
Getting lost in the milky way.

Giggle little pigeon, and remove
Your mask, you're not attending
This yester's masquerade...

You've got niggers to pick.

Back to the dessert, pick me
A thread of sanity and weave
A home the wolves can't
Whisper through.

If you can brandish me this
Cloud of only silver lining,
You can where a suit to work
On casual Friday.

So come in my dear,
My house of mirrors wont
Laugh I promise, she'll be nice.
I've got candy, and those pricker
Bushes don't look to appetizing,
So get into my horse drawn
Casket and we'll follow the rainbow,
Until you help me paint it's
Spectrums with a squint's opaque.

Oh, sorry my sweet little pigeon,
Lollipops are not optional...
You will take the candy
Cuz my dear, Mr. Wonka
Is just so very lonely.

Spin your head, watch me
Do it Alice, WATCH ME!

Yes, little pigeon put on
Your monocle and follow
The white rabbit down
Through the revolving doors.
We can fall up together
If you accept the Caterpillar's
Offers, little Alice.

Either way, this tea party
Is going to happen!

Eat your biscuits and kiss
The Mad Hatter while he pets
The Chesire Pussy cat with
The Caterpillar's huka necks!

Just remember that Friday
Suit you were promised,
My dear little pigeon.

All of the giving tree's stale
Fruits will gaze in aspiration.
My favorite pigeon has passed
Her acid test... Take your suit;

Now waddle back to
The dessert my little penguin,
Sit under the rainbow,
Until I decide to venture
Back into the Rabbit's hole.

[~SILENT~]

this was nice atti i loved the read it was greatlet complexed and artistic. very creative and niceley enjoyed. i like how it looked simple was complexed in the read and was nicely flowed when read. nice atti.

RTF if ya wanna on my drop .

called:
She is my Pain

[D. Josey]

Eh. I really didn't like this because of your racial slurs, even though you were trying to express, and get a point across, I still really don't approve of these measures. Call me a small minded person, but it just doesn't seem right to me for you to express like this. I've never seen you do something like this kind of writing before, but I dunno what you were trying to get at.

But, of course that's just me.
Check out "Relished Moments"

[Atti]

I did it with Mindless before you came here. The piece is about racism, but whatever.

[Atti]

Bump...

[Atti]

Laaaaaaaaaaame

[Infinite Intelligence]

this seemed a bit derranged. i like your use of many metaphors and it flowed well though it didn't seem to have a rhyme scheme. it seemed to have alot of things going on so it was hard to catch the overall meaning, but what i got from it is someone is luring a little black girl to molest her. thats why it seems strange. it pisses me off that i couldn't get for certain the overall meaning lol. i like the way you challenge intellegent minds and stump feeble ones. i'll have to read this over and over untill i get the whole thing now dammit! i can't just leave something like this misunderstood or misinturpurated. i'll comment again when i get the whole thing lol.

[Atti]

Lol... Well, at its heart the piece is, like you were getting on, about slavery and more specifically the rape and mistreament of slave women by slave holders.

[Brandon]

You are very emotional in the work I have seen from you so far....I like that. I am always interested from the start because of yuor originality in titles and topics...this was a disappointment in a way. I didn't really like the topic...but I understand what you mean. It's a good read, so don't get me wrong...I just didn't like the topic too much....and it's not because of racial slurs like Exact said...I just didn't feel it...you know? Well good read like I said...and your wording is thought provoking and very well organized....7.5/10.