Strange Fruit: A Portrait of a Holiday

[Poetic Killer]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...47#post4672547

Can you return the favor?


I liked this peice...Like all you other peices the story was wondefull and great wordplay.
The flow was nice and a incredible Creativity. Like all other pecies from you this is a 10-10. Keep it up.

~Poetic

[Bounce]

you mean to tell me you read this peice in 2 minutes? I jsut upped it..

No way, and if you did, you need to learn how to read a piece because it's refelcted inyour own work. If you ever wantt o get better, it starts with understanding other peoples work and readign them thouroguhly

[Poetic Killer]

lol I read it on my alias. A while ago.

[Bounce]

I hate aliases, they anger me...

[Atti]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=295345

[Bounce]

knock the crust off your eyes...

[Bounce]

bump

[Witty]

I read this a few days ago,but didn't have time to leave feed, I just reread it so as to remember it all...and now I'll proceed with feed back.

I really liked this peice,it seems like that's all I'm ever saying when commenting on your OMs lol. But this one was special,it stood out more than any other peice I have read from you,which is an acheivement in itself. it was just such a great read, I usually don't like tribute peices because they bore me and seem so played,but this was different...it was original,there was none of the 'oooh we all loved you so much' bullshit...you told the truth about her life and her drug addiction,but still made it emit a positive vibe, I like the way you didn't simply concentrate on her music,and you didn't lie about her life being perfect and shit. the rhyme scheme...well it was perfect in my eyes,this whole peice was amazingly easy to read and to get in to, imagery was fucking top class too,I loved it and it really opened my eyes not only to this great artist and her tragic death (R.I.P) but also to the struggles that she went through....it sounded like a typical rockstar life with all the drugs and shit lol (oh and yea I know she wasn't a rockstar lol) but great peice dude,I've recently done some research on Billie Holiday and listened to her music,and I can honestly say that I love it. Thanks for helping me find this great music. Nice drop, I tried to vote it in for legends but either RB or my computer was fucked up earlier, so I'll go and do it now. Loved this peice,got to give you mad props for this one dude.Peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299421
hit that up please

[Bounce]

thanks, and I really appreciate the time you spent replying here. I am seriously glad I could have something to do with exposing you to some real classic music. That is exactly what I intended to do with this peice.

[soulstice.]

Goddamn it, this was fucking sick, the opening couple lines were eye-catching as fuck, the rhyme scheme in em was tight, but then you had all those multies and metaphors, absolutely amazing,, the rhyme scheme was scattered so it was hard to follow but at the exact same time it was mad interesting, the flow got so original.. i liked that shit. i also liked how you fit decently sized vocabulary words instead of small ones and then massive ones, so you stayed consistant throughout the entire piece. excellent delivery of an excellent topic, the closing lines were very interesting and left the piece with an epic tone. legends for sure

anyway.. hit up my piece "Tomborrow"

thanks

[Richard Parker]

Apologize for the quick feedback, but you know I'm not trying to get posts and all that bullshit, lol. Great piece, I usually dislike your style because I'm into the shorter, multi based, emotion packed pieces (e.g. Cam's, Volve's, Nique's, etc) - But this was...different. The first picture threw me off big time, because the piece didn't seem to have much to do with that. But you did a nice job of not being overblown with vocabulary here, and it was rhythmic. I doubt anyone mentioned this, but for some reason I especially liked the chorus... most of all, this part "..locked in song by a songstress in a timeless hymn...". Can't give much feedback, I suck, but .. nice job

[Engivale]

Thanks for the feedback on my piece. I thought that this was awesome, at times sometimes I'm not feelin' the scheme of this, it's more of a Nas kind of lyric, like something that never really finishes a punch but just kind of keeps flowing, which was tremendous, but at times I think it got a little outside of its own box.

The subject was classic, and the wordplay was beyond compliment. Really stellar stuff. I've commented on pieces that use too many complex , four-or-more syllable words that tend to cut the rhythm to shreds at the expense of wordplay, but this was not the case here.

Thanks for reading my work and a pleasure to read yours.

Engivale

[MakeShyft]

Just.. wow.

This is very, very well written.
The imagry was like a vivid dream, I really enjoyed reading this piece.
Haven't seen anything like it, so I was impressed with this one..

or the timeless type in bold print, bound by his ways in life
so I raise waves in ink, Poseidon like, & never the silent type

Poseidon like, & never the silent type* ^really dope I felt this line (the ending of it in particular)
I also really liked the repetition of the first lines (repeated in the ending) It gives almost an echo effect to the piece. As for the story, I like how you merged complication with anguish and defeat. The lines slide together, like butter.. and the emotion was flawless.

Stay up,

Rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302901
Peace.

[P. Mortuus]

Not sure if i'v replied or left commetns to this, but i can't be asked to check the next 3 pages
.
.
Anywya, this was a very well written om, i liked the changes in rhymeschem, though sudden changes they were subtle and didn't have a negative affect instead allowed you to use different rhymes whilst the flow still carried.I liked the descriptive parts as they allowed me to picture images in my mind whilst reading and the metaphoirc sentences were excellent as they were more advanced and devloped meta's and were quite impressive. The way you rhymed about the life of Billie Holiday was good also, only time i've heard of her was in tupacs song, "Thugz Mansion" so in honesty i don't really know her music muhc. That though will change as i will listen and see her style of music soon. Back to your piece, then yeah it's very well written like i'v said before. Overall, a very interesting piece, metaphorically advanced and enjoyable...Stay up

Preciate it if you could check my new om, "The Coffee Soldiers", thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30288
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302883

[Lord of Pens]

I have to say first of all that this piece seriously touched me.

The song made the piece even that much deeper. The sound of her voice brought your words to life. The piece had a voice to it. A soothing yet strong one at the same time. The flow of it was perfect in my eyes.

Someone once told me, a great writer makes a choice in life
voice of night consoling lonely wives bound by page and light
or the timeless type in bold print, bound by his ways in life
so I raise waves in ink, Poseidon like, & never the silent type
violence ripe, I script bruised fruit! Some fell from the trees
as others hung from the noose. I'm painting that strange fruit
portrait of a Holiday, a heroine bulls-eyed on opiates cut loose

That right there itself made me want to read into the piece. Your multi's and rhyme scheme, with the smoothness of your word choice just left me in utter awe. Not forced at all. Then when you started to talk about her life, just made it beautiful.

on dart-boards over-used, tracks of which tell a dark tale or two
Smack down, syringe plunged deep in mainlines, numb veins
pump candy for strained minds, on back-drops of stained lives
heated spoons & cotton balls, cop a squat & watch'em crawl
in a funk so thick, because filth covered pores prolong the next fix
so she swims in white water rapids despite the white collar tactics
deployed & fixed by the system, she pours her soul onto plastic
to blast hits, the type to tops charts & celebrate w/ new pricks
not to imply she's promiscuous, but this seed's of another tip
shooting juice to blow into another trip, a new haze in a daze
gone by, un phased by her ways played in another jazz club dive
alive, pouring soul into a metal box, smoke wafts thru dim light
as pianos play soft, off to stage right, she's only a silhouette
in a sea of cigarettes & candle light, like velvet wings in flight
her voice soars high over soothing waves on moonlit nights
she sings of sorrows seen in life & scenes of tearful things alike

This depicted many vivid pictures in my mind. Gave me a certain type of feeling as I was reading it. And again, while I heard her voice actually made me feel it. Definitely deep. I don't know what to say to you. The imagery was at a different level here. The piece was just brought to life. Your emotion flowed through the whole thing. Originality was definitely a given because in my time I've never seen anything like this done before. Multi's were good and you flowed very well. Never stopped or got choppy through the whole piece. The piece just had a deeper meaning to it then just words on a page. It actually inspired me.

Amazing Bounce. That's the only word I can give it. Definitely HoF material. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated on any of my pieces. I definitely want to see more for you. I really enjoyed the read.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302754
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302801
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302898