Painfull Affliction of Love

[Creepz]

the good die young....then i guess you can call this my final act
coz a heart this pure...its just proves that oppisites attract
but the impact of wot life has on me, is far 2 strong 4 me 2 prevail
coz it removes my will, coz the agony of life is far 2 large 2 scale
far 2 harsh 2 bail, but y should we b forced 2 stand on lands that proceed with affliction
b forced 2 lv others that choose 2 abuse ur heart so hard that u cnt bare the constriction
with there unfair addiction, to persist on forcin ur soul 2 diminish
2 persist on releasin sickness nd evaporating the will 2 lv so much it cnt replenish
its hearts menace...breakin u down 2 da ground,makin ur cell walls crumble
leavin u caught up in da struggle, n reducin da walls of ur thoughts (fort) 2 rubble
leavin ur thoughts troubled, blindly stumble lifes path in need of institution
coz yes love hurts, loves pollution, deteriates ur soul n mind with no way to retribution
its psychological execution, brain dead....a mindless zombie walkin this earth with no will
no thoughts but 2 blaim urself,ur actions..ur in remorse n with the erge 2 kill
but only 2 kill oneself, do u feel that u will fullfill lifes purpose
2 remove u from lifes circus, 2 desert life....jus like how life deserts us!

[Creepz]

basicly this is how i'v been feeling, and i hope u can see the emotion in this

[XxPHATExX]

i really like it actually. you should spell words out tho instead of using abbreviations.

[Creepz]

yh lol.....but then it would be far too long lol

[Lucid.]

Im going to start off by telling you what i liked and disliked

Disliked
First of all your structure was bad your flow was choppy at some points your imagery was blurry you sometimes did not give enough details so that i could imagine your piece i also didnt like how you used abbreviations instead of spelling out the whole word lazy butt

Liked
You had great vocabulary and you stayed on Q' throughout the whole verse you coulda of done way better but like i said before the abreviations where confusing and really didnt help your verse

[Creepz]

cheerz man lol!

[Pluto]

this is very good it has a lot of detail