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Last edited by D. Josey; August 8th, 2006 at 10:25 AM
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Shm.
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Up.
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nice peice. good vocab and complexity
rhymes and flow was nice.
i felt the emotion and interesting topic
overall this peice was pretty good
i enjoyed reading it. keep it up
peace~
Thank you.
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Very nice piece man. I liked your use of vocabulary in this a lot. Your word choice really brought this piece to life for me. You did a good job of keeping your lines short and to the point which is very good and makes it flow a lot better. The rhyme scheme was very good and everything was flowing very well. You stuck to the story line extremely well, I felt you really had a strong understanding of what you were talking about. The emotion I thought may have been the only thing you were lacking but made up for it in the imagery so it doesn't really matter. I liked this whole theme really. Keep it up!
Thumbs are budget stricken towers, unperfected.
False predicates are blown with the wind, forgotten.
Midnight eyes shed spidery devoirs, not deflected.
These assorted corneas scatter the floor, old. Rotten.
Dope openor, really set it off right.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...05#post4637505
^Leave feed please
Appreciated. Up.
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Up. Thanks for feeding. You guys seriously need to leave it.
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Up.
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