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Thread: The World In My Perspective

  1. #1
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    The World In My Perspective

    The World In My Perspective

    This world has turned to nothing in under a decade
    Bush doesn't care because he's on a killing escapade
    New Orelans hasn't been rebuilt yet where are the supplies?
    FEMA needs to stop with these see-through lies
    Iraq doesn't want us there when will the goverment see
    People are always saying "Why don't we just leave them be"?
    Have you relized that NO ONE has a child fighting in the war?
    But the moment one of them go, they'll be no more blood and gore
    This world is coming to a stop, and all will be perished
    There's nothing else growing in in, nothing else to be cherished
    As tears fall onto the earth, a sorrowful song will play
    And It'll guide sin stricken blind selfs throughout the day
    And with the street fighting and riots what will God say?
    Will he say "Should I Start Over, And Rebuild The World My Way"
    What does a person see through there eyes?
    Do they see the bitterness when a loved one dies?
    Or do they see joy when their child is born?
    Only to recieve despair again, when there child is scorn
    All the happiness in the earth is just a trick, a trap played on the innocent
    Because there's no TRUE and that isn't illiterate
    But moving on, what about the bird flu epidemic?
    Is this virus true, or is it just a gimmick?
    Because people "died from eating a bird!
    One of the most harmless things, yet they never said a word
    And rasism, what about out Black color?
    Because when people hear the word "negro or nigger" they start to studder
    Because people think there's no such thing as a successful Black man (or woman)
    They think we can't make it without a white's "loving" hand
    But anyway. why is there hunger, when there's so much food?
    The people of this earth have this "I really don't care mood"
    We should all look out for our people to help one another
    To lock arms with a White, Black, Asian, or Canadian man, to be your sister or brother
    Anyway, when will be the day when we find Bin Laden at last?
    Probably never, because he's too fast
    Well, at least they caught Saddam
    Or at least tried to kill him with an A-Bomb
    Our world has turned to dust because of this Black on Black fighting
    And with issues like this, it just pressures me to keep writing
    And this gang crap, people are killing each other over A COLOR!
    Because of all these murders, the world turns duller
    And with these "wars" the earth is just turing into pieces of dirt
    But no one cares what we've done, we dont care what we've hurt
    We've all got this "So What" attitude and it's destroying us all
    But when this Awful world ends and we hear that fateful call...
    What will we do then?
    Nothing else left to do, this earth has ended
    All will be lost, all that we have defended
    You try to hold on to what little you have
    But that seems stupid, so people will laugh
    As your fingers slip away from you possesions, it's like the world slipping away
    You should always think of this as you LAST day
    Becasue it's all over, no one to be objective
    And this is how I think of this world "The World In My Perspective


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296485
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296490

  2. #2
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    uppin

  3. #3
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    nice drop dude...nice wordplay,flow,mettas,multies
    i really liked this piece............................................. .............nice shit..keep droppin hot shit...really deep and creative...holla

  4. #4
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    thank you. this is my second attempt at a topical, so I still have a long way to go. uppin.

  5. #5
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    nice peice man...cool topic...nice flow
    good rhymes, good wordplay throughout..
    multies were on point and nice vocab
    overall diss was good..keep it up.

  6. #6
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    ^ it wasn't a diss. uppin.

  7. #7
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    up...

  8. #8
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    For your second om, this was pretty good. I like how you expressed how the world is in your eye's. A lot of true stuff in this peice. I felt it could have used a little more imegrey and detail, paint more of a vivid poicture in the reader's head. Also your structure was off a little, you had long lines than short lines. Try making them even or the same size, so you wont mess up the "flow". Another thing I noticed, in some spot's you wopuld talk about one thing, than talk about somthing else, than go back to the thing you were talking about before. Try to stay on topic and not do that so much. Overall this was a decent peice, and hope you take some of my advice and keep writing.

  9. #9
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    thank you kid uppin...

  10. #10
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    uppin. of course you've probabaly this is my alias...

  11. #11
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    up.

  12. #12
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  13. #13
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    feelin the drop...a little long makes people not want to read it but it was a good overall drop

  14. #14
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    ^ do you mind explaining that?

  15. #15
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    `Awakened`

    I Njoi'd this myself. For a 2nd OM it is good. The imagery was nice. I personally liked the wording. The structure was at time different. Your flow was consistent. Specifically was the addressing of G.O.D.'s thoughts. I Njoi'd that most. You captured Bush perfectly. Iraq's subliminal lies was nice. You did great lil'one. Loved it for your 2nd OM.
    Keep it Up.
    G.O.L.
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

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