Motivated Killers

[Cody Nash]

Motivated Killers
By: Nash
i wasn't feelin' myself, i felt as if i needed help ..
my motive? well there wasn't any, i hated myself
so, it's like ..
i was rollin' locamotive, didn't strike a single fuckin' motive
but with motives that even satan's never promoted ..
if i'd ever noted more, it was this girl that i was viewing
just previewing through windows of insanity,
just imagining who i'd be chopping & skewing
renewing order, pretending to be the border to day & night
i knew it couldn't be right to think a delicacy of a delight
"Alright," my mind said, when the soon dead girl strolled by
first i stood, then i jumped to hear her cry, then she'd die
i relied on the knife to destroy her life, i ripped & gutted ..
.. tore & loved it, like a door just craving to be shutted
i'm slaving for my own satisfaction, motive? still no reaction
what is it.. that causes these fatal attractions?
there's captions on their heads, that say "KILL ME DEAD"
so i shoot em` in the head.. & it's said that I'M brutal?
just cuz a news cast acts fast to give YOU brutes a earfull
nothin's revealed fools, the truth? i've killed & gotten away
people forgotten today, with some cops tomorrow ..
.. that aint got shit to say
don't play with my head, i may or may not be dropped
but hell, don't tell me i still ain't standin`.. i can't be stopped
i'm demandin` you cowards cowar & call me hot
cuz i got more kills under my belt ..
.. than they could fit on Ripleys believe it not
i'll stop, i'll quit throwin' helpless people to the ground
.. but only if i get caught, if i'm brought down
& if i'm brought down SOUNDLY, without the news on my back
because without the news,
the "killers" < wouldn't even know how to do that

Cramped for Lives - Spekz
Sensible Havoc - Illus'Artis

[noncentz]

Motivated Killers
By: Nash
i wasn't feelin' myself, i felt as if i needed help ..
my motive? well there wasn't any, i hated myself
so, it's like ..
i was rollin' locamotive, didn't strike a single fuckin' motive
but with motives that even satan's never promoted ..
if i'd ever noted more, it was this girl that i was viewing
just previewing through windows of insanity,
just imagining who i'd be chopping & skewing
renewing order, pretending to be the border to day & night
i knew it couldn't be right to think a delicacy of a delight
"Alright," my mind said, when the soon dead girl strolled by
first i stood, then i jumped to hear her cry, then she'd die
i relied on the knife to destroy her life, i ripped & gutted ..
.. tore & loved it, like a door just craving to be shutted
i'm slaving for my own satisfaction, motive? still no reaction
what is it.. that causes these fatal attractions?
there's captions on their heads, that say "KILL ME DEAD"
so i shoot em` in the head.. & it's said that I'M brutal?
just cuz a news cast acts fast to give YOU brutes a earfull
nothin's revealed fools, the truth? i've killed & gotten away
people forgotten today, with some cops tomorrow ..
.. that aint got shit to say
don't play with my head, i may or may not be dropped
but hell, don't tell me i still ain't standin`.. i can't be stopped
i'm demandin` you cowards cowar & call me hot
cuz i got more kills under my belt ..
.. than they could fit on Ripleys believe it not
i'll stop, but only if i get caught, if i'm brought down
if i'm brought down, soundly, without the news on my back
because without the news,
the "KILLERS!" < wouldn't know how to do that

links soon ..

YO TWIN THIS WASNT BAD AT ALL I SAW MANY ELEMENTS SOME STRONGER THAN OTHERS NO DOUBT BUT NONE WEAK.
i liked it for start to finish you get more complex and use witty lines in punch form but this was hot
you still fed many emotions i xcan relate especielly in the intro lines

[Stunee]

I think you could work on the structure a bit more...Dunno, maybe just me. It's a cool story mode type of theme. My favorite part was towards the ending, it got more into a freestyle, punch line kinda theme, from Line 21 down, I followed, above, was hard for me to keep up with what your saying...or trying to say. The only point I caught to this piece was that 'Your a killer without a real motive, only that the people around you are that motive'...if that's correct? You could have chose a better subject or something close to relate to it, but in all, I think I followed what you were saying and I like it, no hate! Keep it up doggy...Peace.

[Mic.]

strucutre could have been better but this was good...
nice flow..nice rhyme scheme and good multies
nice emotion, and imagery..good vocab as well....
overall this was interestng and i liked it...

[NiNjah Red]

pretty dope rythym n flow. sum on multies f'sho.
GOOD emotion.PLENTY...........vocab was decent...........sum coo imageries displayed..............sum rhymes got a bit basic t'ward da end.., but i guess worked all the same still............concept was dealt w/ cool. but cudda been deepened and expanded on a lil for a more complete picture. but yeah a nice write still

check out this free 1 i wrote earlier yeah


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296789

[TProphet]

Loved the way you rhymed with internals. Maybe its because you wrote very similar way of rhyming to me, but thats what stood out to me, your internals and flow. . you didnt really capture the readers attention with a line that said 'you have read on' [bascially so that they are intrigued]because there wasnt really much creativity to be honest. .

all in all your piece had the basics laid down pretty well.. now work on your content and im sure youll see improvement in your writing

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296456

Have a look at that for me

[Cody Nash]

^didn't really try too hard, felt like writing something a bit gritty/emotional. oh, and i forgot these OM kids still CARE about structure ..lmfao, are you saying that you could read it better if i changed the font and centered it? lmao, stfu kids. Yeah, it was basic, nothing special from me.

I'll hit yours up a little later true.

[Opus]

weird piece for text, would have been cool on audio like a Slug kind of vibe. What kind of not that great for a text piece though

[Cody Nash]

mmk, anything else to say?

[th-C]

pretty crazy... do u feel like killing someone? whats your deal? a anyway howd u get so many post counts wtf r u marv............ blah

don't play with my head, i may or may not be dropped
but hell, don't tell me i still ain't standin`.. i can't be stopped
i'm demandin` you cowards cowar & call me hot
cuz i got more kills under my belt ..
.. than they could fit on Ripleys believe it not


liked those lines

[Cody Nash]

lol, nice feed? no i'm not marv ..lmao.

uppity

[Cody Nash]

uppingness ..

[~SILENT~]

Wow dis was a pretty nice piece. I liked the title which went well with yhis piece. The title was dope, it was very distinctive & creative. Thid piece had a good sense of imagery which lad into many thought's for me. I also liked the concept's of what word's an such lead you in to doing so . But this had very good vocab in it also. Cry this om was one of the nicest piece's.

Feed Back appreciated on this.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...64#post4603964

[urban legendz]

yo famo that was pretty descent i like the imagery that you created by yousing proper wordplay and vocab good topic you choose.... you had pretty descent metaphors to begin with... good job

leave feed on my OM

[Red Hooks]

see i thought this was pretty tight because i felt that nash took on a new style usually he'll have a lil bit of poetry mixed wit his rhymes but on this he just whent all out shit was pretty tight i liked it

keep doing ya thing homie