Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Dear Meghan,

  1. June 4th, 2006, 12:19 AM #1
    keywerd
    keywerd is offline
    Keep It Trill keywerd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Gun$hine $tate
    Posts
    1,562
    Battle Record
    20-11

    Dear Meghan,

    Dear Meghan,
    Wat happend last night? I'm confused but I feel no pain
    I just remember searchin for you 'till you screamed my name
    Now I'm wakin on this foreing pillow digressin slowly to insane
    Look of greif was upon my face then, as yours was plain
    Darkness in my memory as I told myself that it was nothing
    Tellin you: "We had no connection no lovin 'n no lusting!
    Listen Meghan or w/e your name is it was nothin last night!"
    Respondin: "I can see that by how you get my name right"
    Stutterin, try to think as the man that I am wit three kids
    "Really we only got together last night 'cuz of this penis!"
    Now when I said ^this I really didn't mean to mean this
    But I had to get you off my nuts, so I had to be my meanest
    You left, wit tears which gave me room to let go of my own
    But then I got over it, cleaned up 'n headed for my home
    I've loved you more than my wife she just trapped me
    The kids like havin a Mom 'n a Dad, but I'm not happy
    I dream of life with you. Thoughts clouded by your smile
    Rollin over awake to touch your face, to see her all the while
    How did I miss my chance?! Wheres my happy ending?!!
    My life should be yours spendin as the times tending
    All the more I close my eyes, is all the more you I miss
    So, to help clear my conscious I just write you this
    Hope to cross paths again, to feel again that bliss
    Now wishin that wit this envelope I could enclose a kiss
    ...
    ..
    .


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=295605
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294306
    ...Keep It Trill...
    Fucc what a nigga gotta say
    Fucc what a cracca gotta say
    Fucc what a bitch gotta say
    Fucc what a tricc gotta say
    Fucc what a pimp gotta say
    Fucc what a player, AND a hater gotta say.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. June 4th, 2006, 12:33 AM #2
    Inquirin mindz
    Inquirin mindz is offline
    Banned Inquirin mindz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,186
    Battle Record
    29-8
    nice peice real nice peice, likin the emotion put into it, nice consept in structure, i was really interested in the topic, it got better when it started to go into the middle and you gave me a good image to the peice, good job...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. June 4th, 2006, 01:25 AM #3
    noncentz
    noncentz is offline
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    it wasnt bad work at all u wernt completely consistant but also you didnt fall off to bad
    work on climantic points if u added multiple 1's this would be much better but it still came good
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. June 4th, 2006, 02:38 PM #4
    keywerd
    keywerd is offline
    Keep It Trill keywerd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Gun$hine $tate
    Posts
    1,562
    Battle Record
    20-11
    ^Thanx for the feed. Bump.
    ...Keep It Trill...
    Fucc what a nigga gotta say
    Fucc what a cracca gotta say
    Fucc what a bitch gotta say
    Fucc what a tricc gotta say
    Fucc what a pimp gotta say
    Fucc what a player, AND a hater gotta say.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. June 4th, 2006, 02:45 PM #5
    -Stride-
    -Stride- is offline
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Age
    35
    Posts
    11
    Battle Record
    0-1
    nice flow and perfect structure.
    rhymes were good. nice multies.
    vocab and complexity was good throughout.
    overall this was cool. i liked the topic.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. June 4th, 2006, 05:48 PM #6
    keywerd
    keywerd is offline
    Keep It Trill keywerd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Gun$hine $tate
    Posts
    1,562
    Battle Record
    20-11
    ^Thanx. Bump.
    ...Keep It Trill...
    Fucc what a nigga gotta say
    Fucc what a cracca gotta say
    Fucc what a bitch gotta say
    Fucc what a tricc gotta say
    Fucc what a pimp gotta say
    Fucc what a player, AND a hater gotta say.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. June 4th, 2006, 10:25 PM #7
    keywerd
    keywerd is offline
    Keep It Trill keywerd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Gun$hine $tate
    Posts
    1,562
    Battle Record
    20-11
    Shit yo bump.
    ...Keep It Trill...
    Fucc what a nigga gotta say
    Fucc what a cracca gotta say
    Fucc what a bitch gotta say
    Fucc what a tricc gotta say
    Fucc what a pimp gotta say
    Fucc what a player, AND a hater gotta say.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. June 5th, 2006, 07:58 PM #8
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
    ...Dusk2Dawn... is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,340
    Battle Record
    26-14
    Good piece Keyed. You showed good emotion which really got me into the verse. Vocabulary wasn't all that great but it didn't really need to be. Flowed good, good structure. Had some nice imagrey in there as well. Good drop keyed.

    Keep writing.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. June 6th, 2006, 08:25 AM #9
    AngelHaze
    AngelHaze is offline
    Elite.-
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    undecided?
    Age
    33
    Posts
    2,990
    Battle Record
    25-12
    this was str8 feelin the flow and structure vocabulary wasnt all that good but it really didnt need to be had some nice imagery and emotion was str8 good job keep comin
    scytsophrenia
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. June 8th, 2006, 11:14 AM #10
    keywerd
    keywerd is offline
    Keep It Trill keywerd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Gun$hine $tate
    Posts
    1,562
    Battle Record
    20-11
    Thanx for the feed. Bump.
    ...Keep It Trill...
    Fucc what a nigga gotta say
    Fucc what a cracca gotta say
    Fucc what a bitch gotta say
    Fucc what a tricc gotta say
    Fucc what a pimp gotta say
    Fucc what a player, AND a hater gotta say.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Dear B.A.N.G.
    By Friendly Punjabi in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: February 16th, 2009, 04:45 PM
  2. Dear RB
    By Chris Black in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: October 4th, 2008, 06:05 PM
  3. As She look Dear
    By KRATO'S in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: July 24th, 2006, 06:50 PM
  4. Dear No One
    By Poetic Realness in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 6th, 2004, 04:18 PM
  5. dear dad/dear mom
    By LaDy TrInItY in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: July 9th, 2003, 09:42 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules