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I was feeling this alot. It was short but sweet. I felt that for it being a story it should've been more descriptive at parts, but I liked how the storyline progressed discreetly, but at a pace where I wouldn't get bored with the topic. The only thing I didn't like was the ending. It was like you were rushing for it to be done with 'two dicks and a click you bitch"< ---just didn't fit with your quality of writing beforehand. Overall, this was dope though. Keep writing and check out my new piece.
AI. Legendary.
19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.
*scratches head* I don't know man, maybe I'm missing something cuz I really didn't like this at all. I felt like you had a strong and creative storyline and that was about all that was going for this. I mean, those are huge aspects of a great topical piece, but without the bare essential rhyming and wording nothing will read properly. I felt like alot of the rhyming was forced, and some wording was extremely awkward... Those two coupled together made for a dragging reed. I mean, had the wording been better and the rhyming more fluent than this would have been alot better... Well, I didn't really like alot of the approach either though so I dont know. Maybe I'm just picky, sorry man, just didn't really like this one.
I'd apreciate it if you could return the favor:
As Seen on Tv!
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=295345
po'ethics /
abstanticollective.
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