Was This Murder?

**James,** · June 1st, 2006, 12:17 AM

Was This Murder?

I had to pull the plug…I couldn’t bear to see her like this any longer
The growth of how much I hate myself for this grew even stronger
She raised me through my whole entire life, and then she was ended
Death was dealt to her through me, but it was doctor recommended
Hyped up on tubes circulating her last gasps of the life she once had
I was hyped up on depressants…sadly to try and make myself glad
The rhythm of the machine, constantly flowed the same exact noise
It became a calling from the sky to let her go through my final poise

The women was in pain
And all I felt was vain
How is this method sane
For death to be just lain

I smoked until my eyes went numb, pondering my final decision
Shall she be or shall she not, the thoughts only caused collision
They told me that it’d be best….if we would finally let her rest
A two option multiple answer test…I had felt like I was a guest
Of the reality this fatality was now normality not individuality
I began to think of the correct principality there was no immortality
After all my thoughts the question was still there, and I still wept
The end of this tragic event, with dignity I would have to accept

What to do, what to choose
If I knew, who to go to
But I couldn’t, I wouldn’t
And now I know I shouldn’t

Looking at her…I still don’t know…I could give it till morning
I realized there’d be more problems, there’d just be more mourning
What I’ve learned is to think a problem out, looking every way
I could solve this problem every way, and it’d take me the end of days
My heart was pounding, I was pondering, and then I suddenly thought
Through the Bible, this is very wrong, and all that I have been taught
But, seeing her in such a state, I had to do…what may be a big mistake
I would have to finally, drive away from what I had thought as faith

I looked at the machine
And all that I had seen
Terrified and verified
The final good bye

And I came to the conclusion that I was advised to simply follow
Reaching for the plug I felt like a redwood……stiff and hollow
I gripped it for a while, my mind continue, but my heart abort
This seemed like the only way……..in which I had to resort
So I closed my eyes, and held my breath, I didn’t wish to see death
I pulled the plug, and screamed inside, I had just nothing left
I opened my eyes and stared, and suddenly felt somewhat aplomb
I looked up into the sky, and felt the will to mutter…”Bye Mom”

My mind filled with events, all moved by an individual herder
Through all this I do have one question….Was This Murder?

**James,** · June 1st, 2006, 12:30 AM

links:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294510
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294611

**SoFly** · June 1st, 2006, 12:39 AM

I thought this was pretty dope. The flow was nice but I liked the concept I thought it was original. I felt that with some more good lines this could've been something great. But it was one of those where it had the right layout but some of the lines just weren't dope enough. But this still was a pretty superb om. Although I felt that you tried to get a little fancy with one bar in their where it was very multie oriented, but then the other bars were more simplistic. Overall 8/10

Hit up this om and that would be much appreciated.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294978

**Philly B. Sparkz** · June 1st, 2006, 12:56 AM

nice flow emotion and vocab useage...very nice in depth and nice in structure due to creativity!...keep it coming ma though ou still have work to do on not going too basic.....

RTF
in the links in my sig.

**James,** · June 1st, 2006, 08:10 PM

thanks for feed

upping for more

**Philly B. Sparkz** · June 1st, 2006, 08:11 PM

leave fee on my OMS too man....

**James,** · June 1st, 2006, 09:27 PM

upping for some feed please...

**Young~Disciple** · June 1st, 2006, 09:39 PM

Had alot of emotion, weird, but good, needed no extra effort to make this a good peice, had alot of lines i liked, good topic, wich made me decide to read it, had a good concept that kept me readin, unlike alot of others that i stop and click back, good peice

**Atti** · June 2nd, 2006, 01:51 PM

This was an average drop, but I see alot of potential in you so Im jsut going to speak very critically with you. This should have been alot more specific being as it was so story driven. There was just a current event about this where in Florida(?) there was a despute about whether it should be the parents of a victim or the spouse of the victim to deside if the plug should be pulled or not. I feel like if you worked that in, due to the real life element it would have turned out alot more emotional and would have given you more of an intellectual image. The topic itself is kind of played, I think if you worked it like I jsut said it would have been more of your own thing rather than another average approach on the same old topic. Flow and scheme was all fine. Emotion, I had trouble really connecting, I suggest you get into some poetry to expand your writing techniques and learn some ways to incorperate better emotion. Overall, the piece like I said, to most standards is good... But to a higher standard it was just average at best and I feel like with practise you could become much much better. Stay up and keep writing man.