Why?

[I Am Unreal.]

Why?

Dear God:
I wish to make a deal. A proposition, if just someday…
-I pledge to be honest; I’ll even go to church on Sundays
Only for one thing… And I’m sorry I have to ask but…
Wait… Let me start over…
….You know I’ve always loved you right? Had faith and trust?
So why’d you have to go and abandon us?!
How much longer must I repent and cry?
I’ll resent and die, c’mon just tell me why!

Elated on air, Allah, here he sits and listens
Has no reasons for one’s trouble but christens
the poor Christian with a silent thought
Distraught, he wonders what was taught
through the rotting of his parent’s past
God sighs, then laughs…
He holds no response within his defining light
But applies the question to his mind, “Why?”
Why not?

Answer me GOD! Why won’t you help me?
Why, WHY?! Is it because you resent me?
Growing unhealthy, the Christian stops and blinks
Answer me now! His excitement rises, then sinks
As he averts his eyes to the kitchen sink, a twinkling object
sits, to be twisted into his wrists…
He slits, the blood spills the reddish tinge of conflict
Shit… SHIT I’m going to die!!

And there God thinks, But why?
Haven’t I made all people equal with a chance to succeed?
Provided the path, paved it, and they destroy it with greed
Now they’re pleading for forgiveness, ruined my work
The body is my temple and they destroyed it, those jerks
I laugh when they ask for a second chance…
And why?

Then with one last gasp the Christian asks, then sighs…
Why not?

.Nique. - Cycle of Hatred
Myself - In The Shadows of the Livingroom

[Nique.]

I liked the concept a lot, but I think you could've done a lot more with it honestly. What you did have was nice though for the most part, especially the whole why/why not counterattacks and rebuttals. I also liked how you portrayed Allah's contempt when this person is pleading to be heard. Kind of like he's fed up with the selfishness of people. Overall, this was pretty good. Hit my new piece up when you get the chance. Pz.

[Atti]

I liked this piece, it had a subtle intellect but was structured more so on elements of emotion. I loved you intro, it was just so genuine and authentic. That's probally the first intro I've seen done right in almost ever. That was just such a powerful way to start off; with the contradictions and scatter-brained thoughts that eeked out of a hysterical loved one, great. The concept itself is kind of played, jsut because the terrorist thing is still a hot topic/current issue type of thing and I like to see topics that aren't the spotlight because I think it takes more creativity to think of them... But with the approach you took on this you brought it to a very respectable level. Overall, I really enjoyed the read actually. Nice job man.

It'd be dope if you could return the favor on my new Om,
In the Shadows of the Livingroom
Thanks alot, I really apreciate it.

[Nick James...]

I love this piece, Unreal. It flowed smoothly, the vocabulary was good, rhyme scheme was good, and the first paragraph was something alot of us could relate to. I actually can't think of nothing wrong with this. The ending was excellent and left me n' utter awe.

vote - legends, or atleast HOF, but im nominating for both.

[I Am Unreal.]

Thanks boys, continue to leave links and I will happily return the favour.

[I Am Unreal.]

Uppin'.............................

[Ja Eazy]

hey i did this topic like a week back but i like the way u came on this..the vocab was good and so was the flow and i really liked it bro ~1~

[James,]

Anything involving religion is a great topic to me, so I really enjoyed your piece, I liked a lot of your rhymes, it flowed pretty good, you could've used more vocab in your piece, some of your lines were predictable, but this piece was an interesting way of using a religion concept, talking to god is interesting...you have room to improve but this was a good piece...good job man...keep it up....


If you could return the favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...07#post4540607
thanks.

[Young~Disciple]

religon is a tricky thing, but it was a good peice, good flow, stucture was decent, good lines, prety good rymes, ~Keep Up~