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Thread: The Devils Apprentice

  1. #1
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    The Devils Apprentice

    The Devils Apprentice
    By: Dusk2Dawn


    Prosecutor: Come on Jeff, Take me back to that night.
    Jeff: How many times do I have to tell you I wasn’t even at the party.
    Prosecutor: We have witnesses that saw you there.
    Jeff: * Looks away, starting to cry*
    Prosecutor: What is it Jeff?
    Jeff: You want to know what happened fine! But don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll take you back to that night. Yea the whole night.



    *Crowd screaming*
    *Go, Go, Go, Go, Go*
    *Chug it, Chug it! Yea!*

    A wild night drinking made a lonely girl stop thinking
    Constant blinking, pupils shrinking left many males winking
    Breath stinking; she kept drinking, slowly losing sanity
    Taking her clothes off passionately, possessed by vanity
    How could she use such profanity? Many asked that question
    But I have a confession,
    I had an obsession, slipped a pill in her drink for a quick sex session
    I used no discretion, not thinking; blinded by sexual appearance
    OK FINE! You’re honor I’m responsible for Destiny’s disappearance
    .
    .
    .
    But you want the whole story, and you’re only in skin deep
    I waited until she fell asleep, then took her into my tinted jeep
    You see my obsession for here goes back to elementary
    She never even knew I existed! She’s in all my journal entries
    But I was tired of being complementary, so I took her home
    While she was unconscious, I was up in her trying to blow a load
    I couldn’t explode, so I kept going harder and faster
    I couldn’t plaster!...
    …She woke up, now this situation has turned into a disaster
    She started screaming and yelling, she kicked me in my face
    I started moving at a faster pace, turning violent ripping off her lace
    Smacking her in the face…

    Prosecutor: Ok Jeff we get the picture, where is she?
    Jeff: Let me finish.
    Judge: Let him finish.


    …I grabbed some duct tape because her screams were unbearable
    Wrapped her to a chair, went to the garage, my thoughts became terrible
    I came back overwrought with tools from my garden shed
    With a shovel I smacked her in the head, till that bitch was half dead
    Made her legs spread with a pair of my father’s pliers
    Her times expired but know I’m going to finish all my desires
    As she sat there with a dismantled face, I was forcing her to give me oral
    Busted all over her face until I realized what I was doing was unmoral
    I broke down hysterically but the man I’ve seen before reappeared
    He had red eyes, a long beard, for what I’ve just done he revered
    He brought me great fear, then he told me I was to be his apprentice
    With a smirk on his face he told me this opportunity was portentous
    I tried to be generous by declining, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer
    Then he reached into my stomach and infected me with cancer
    He said “Tell a soul about what just happened and it will be you’re life”
    He said “No one will believe you” then showed me a knife…

    Judge: That’s it, put this man in a mental institution this instance.

    (Later that night)

    Jeff: Don’t leave me alone, he’ll come for me.
    Nurse: You’ll be fine.
    *Nurse slams door as Jeff is sobbing intensely*
    (1 hour later)

    .
    .
    .
    Follow directions and you would be saved from rejection with eternal protection
    Another soul into my collection,
    Welcome to my version of the crucifixion without resurrection
    Last edited by ...Dusk2Dawn...; May 25th, 2006 at 06:47 PM

  2. #2
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    Last edited by ...Dusk2Dawn...; May 25th, 2006 at 03:16 PM

  3. #3
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    bumpity bump.

  4. #4
    That




    was




    amazing.
    Extremely hostile, but I like it. I could see you rapping to it (or someone). I got the flow, and everything. Buuuutttt....
    A wild night drinking made a lonely girl stop thinking
    Constant blinking, pupils shrinking left many males winking
    Breathe* stinking; she kept drinking, slowly losing sanity
    Should be breath.
    Just fyi
    You could feel the emotion and everything, it put you right in the middle of his story.

  5. #5
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    Thank you ma!

    Bump

  6. #6
    nice man really nice..
    i liked your elevation man nice wordplay complevity and emotino man REALLY NICE emotion and very well assets of vocab and story telling man...really nice though some parts need a lil elevation but still this drop was real sick and amazing man really nice read!..

    http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=228548
    ^^
    RTF on this drop please
    <<The real Renegade

  7. #7
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    Thanks but I don't belong rapverse.

  8. #8
    oh shit wrong one man
    LOL!.
    <<The real Renegade

  9. #9
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294136
    ^^
    there ya go man sorry man......
    <<The real Renegade

  10. #10
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    lol

    i liked

    As she sat there with a dismantled face, I was forcing her to give me oral
    Busted all over her face until I realized what I was doing was unmoral

    haha .. yaman, s'cool

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  11. #11
    oh, yes i did I Got Pwnd's Avatar
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    This is very spine chilling..I like the style..The introduction was ill...sorta like my style when I do topicals an what not..but your nice with this..I basically like

    As she sat there with a dismantled face, I was forcing her to give me oral
    Busted all over her face until I realized what I was doing was unmoral
    ^That was sick..lol..

    Really,This was like a mini movie...

    Good job..esp. the breakdowns/screenplay..nice..wanna do a collab..Really?

    cuz u got an intresting style that catches my eye..Steven king meets Alfred Hitchcock.

    Most def..Nice!

    RbHof<---I dunno,but I would vote yes.

  12. #12
    oh, yes i did I Got Pwnd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boris Funk
    lol

    i liked

    As she sat there with a dismantled face, I was forcing her to give me oral
    Busted all over her face until I realized what I was doing was unmoral

    haha .. yaman, s'cool

    ^damn it..beat me 2 it.lol.

    That was sick...

  13. #13
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    Werd. Thanks ya'll

    Collab! I'll PM you bout it.

  14. #14
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    complexity, creativity, vocab, and wordplay was really good...espeically from your last drop...i see that your elevating....flow was good and on point....rhymes were good as well...and overall this was a good peice..i liked the topic and i enjoyed reading it...lkeep it up..

    hit up the link in my sig..thanks~

  15. #15
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    gooood shit homie good shit that was the best om i seen in a while homie

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