Saw 3

[Sfinx]

Youve all seen saw...
...Well ive been taught that these scenes are raw
And well if you wonder what does this story mean..
..Well its my own version of number 3.

Right your stuck in this house for fuckin about..
..and you need to get the fuck out..
.....So start lookin round for clues and doors
But dont go touchin the couch!
Too late your mate just touched the couch


Youve got 4 minutes to complete this, If not then you aint gettin out.


Heres the first task..
You see that pen and the pad, Grab it and write a verse fast
find the key to the booth and get down ya verse fast ....
...or ill fill up the room with tear gas!
After youve done that, Theres decks up stairs
Grab them and try and get a pull back..
..If you dont do that you`ll get attacked untill your skull cracks!

Ah, I see you used your head
Wrote ya verse, Got a pull back, Didnt loose ya head

How ya feeling? Think You Know All About Music yeah?

Well this game aint over yet
Ive got a few more tasks.. ...Let me show you them!

This time round youve gotta make a tune..
..With a bass line so live it`ll shake the room!
But if ya flop and make a shit beat, Somethin`ll come out the doors and have ya face removed
But If ya pass and get into the next room...
..You`ll find an mp3 attached to a test tube.
Grab it, press play and remember it cos youve gotta make a next tune
And i know its gonna be hard.. But if you want out youve gotta think propa with bars!
Write me a 32 about making it large..
..and how you wanna be a popular star!

After youve done that, Lace it, Bring it back to me..
..Cos the last task is gonna be hard..
Youve gotta face me, play me a tune, and if i dont like it?
Your locked in the yard!


I see you really wanna get out the house..
Cos you got the door to open, and made a bass line i could hear around the house
So well done on that one!
What do we have here? Like I said before...
Rhyme me a 32, What did you do? A 24!
But Ill let you off because you did good so far, So lets end this war

You listened to the mp3
Thats good
You laid down ya verse for me
Thats good
But something dosnt seem right
What is it? Oh yeah, Your track sucks!

Hard luck, Good try my friend, But now youve gotta say goodbye my friend
Go through the door on the left...
..But dont speak to my man... Cos he`s Dead!

[Sfinx]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4478795
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...05#post4478805

[iPost..]

WOW ... This Was Dope .. Really Liked How You Played Around The Movie .. The Vocab Was ILL .. Same With The Structure And Flow .. This Really Got Me Mind Thinkin .. Which Dont Usually Happen .. Good Drop Fam!

[Sfinx]

Thanks man

Glad ya like it. Feel free to leave links to battles or anything else.

[mindstyle.]

good story, vocabs are a little basic but its still good, you pictured the scene nicely and what was happening, it was flowing good too. well, i bet there cant be any emotions in a story like this, or? well anyway, i didnt feel the emotion, but because of the nature of the story i think u ment it that way to leave it more cold and heartless.

and your closing was best line to me :

Hard luck, Good try my friend, But now youve gotta say goodbye my friend
Go through the door on the left...
..But dont speak to my man... Cos he`s Dead!

if you wanna RTF, http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292889

thanks, good piece

[Sfinx]

Yeah. Ill hit your link in a sec.

Its hard to put emotion into peices like this. But thanks for feed.

[mindstyle.]

yeah thats why i believe this was on purpose because it has to be emotionless and cold since it the saw. it makes this thing more realistic IMO. so that really isnt something bad, its actually very good. i only wrote u had no emotion before i realized that its better to NOT put them in here

it makes it even better.

and thanks for the vote

peace

[Sfinx]

Thanks man.

Up.

[Facts Machine]

LOL this was like black comedy, i think the concept was so dope.. great idea inspired by saw... i liked how you kept it hip-hop by using it in the piece. the rhymescheme was hot and u had good imagery, good ending. keep this type of shit up.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293314
^link to my open mic.

[mosh_master]

WOW ... This Was Dope .. Really Liked How You Played Around The Movie .. The Vocab Was ILL .. Same With The Structure And Flow .. This Really Got Me Mind Thinkin .. Which Dont Usually Happen .. Good Drop Fam!

LoL... anyone would think that this dude didn't even read it...
concept was dope, a really good idea, and you played it through nicely. rhyming was alright, saw a couple of multies, but a couple of forced ones, and you could have upped your vocab. your structure was actually a little jumpy, with the flow switchin' up a couple of times, sometimes long and sometimes abrupt.
but the story was tight, you had the idea there, you just could have expanded on the actual hip-hop parts of it. keep improvin' ya skills homie

[Sfinx]

Thanks for feed.

Guy above me, my rhyme scheme was non basic, no hate though, appreciate the feed.

Moe ill hit your om soon

[DrunknMonkey]

LOL this was like black comedy, i think the concept was so dope.. great idea inspired bySAW... the rhymescheme was hot and u had good imagery, good ending. ..werd this piece was an interesting read...keep n the reader on the edge of the seat .... nice wordplay and multi's could have been a lil better seemed to be forced...yet the story was good ....GOOD SHIT...Keep it Up...

[Witty]

lol this was a very dope concept, originality is always impressive, and so is comedy. you have been able to add humour into this peice and still managed to keep it a very good peice,I think that if you keep writing you could be a very good topical writer,this made me laugh,the concepts as I said were very good,the structure was good which made it easy to read,and the vocab was fine...nice job,keep at it.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293589
^return the favour

[Sfinx]

Thanks Ya`ll.

Ill hit links as soon as i get time.

[Sfinx]

Up.