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Thread: ~My Child~

  1. #1
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    ~My Child~

    here we go fuckin again without protection
    some say were stuck in this sin without direction
    its my selection,connection to my lady
    erections never lazy,thoughts a little hazy
    so now we got a baby,half woops,half planned
    all loved,hugged in my hands,its my strand
    of genetics,his smile it seems infectious
    together he must connect us,like kinetics
    move without tha physical,bond beyond invisible
    strong and non divisible,here forever its spiritual
    miracles,maybe not,im not divine or prophetic
    my mind is electric,love keeps us connected
    after nine months hes here,my life is now clear
    when i adhere to reality,i fear my vitality
    how long will this life challenge me,balancing
    every possible outcome,my dad ran,how come
    with my son born were now one,no loud hum
    tha sound of death is close,i left my hopes
    i choked on what i wrote,my breath was broke
    and taken,palms that sweat my head is shakin
    i wonder is this a life im makin,wifes so blatant
    her statements keep me strong,aside from songs
    i know this life goes on,graduated from a pawn
    now tha king of things,this scenes scerene
    it seems a dream but i know its not,to close to stop
    no greater pleasure than bein a parent,im coherent
    when hes a teen ill be transparent,but thats apparant
    it doesnt matter much,we still get fatter plus
    make more mistakes than god with tha platypus.


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  2. #2
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293352

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293268

    sorry it took so long to respond with my links...i had some places to go.


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  3. #3
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    You know I like your pieces Treazon, this reminded me of some Common shit...It was straight smooth calm toned lyrics with a subtle emotion that fit nicely...I like the description in this as well, you elaborate alot on on your chosen topic...Much props...I liked it...Keep doin your thing...

    Yo if you get a chance hit my latest piece up...thanks peace...
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post4492310

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  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    definetly common lol you fallow a close to poetic mind set and that only helps a concious rapper this was hot
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Max.Cleveland's Avatar
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    this was a good peice. dope multies and rhymes
    nice flow. good vocab usage. nice topic.
    structure was nice. overall this was a good peice.
    very hot.
    In The Middle Of It All, I'm The One You Call, "MAX'CLEVELAND"




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    Link 4 feed

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ELEETE
    You know I like your pieces Treazon, this reminded me of some Common shit...It was straight smooth calm toned lyrics with a subtle emotion that fit nicely...I like the description in this as well, you elaborate alot on on your chosen topic...Much props...I liked it...Keep doin your thing...

    Yo if you get a chance hit my latest piece up...thanks peace
    ^^^^^ WERD .... GOOD READ

  7. #7
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    i appreciate it.....up.


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  8. #8
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    i was feeling this. topic was cool.
    first lines made me caught into it.
    interesting. flow was nice.
    rhymes were good and overall this was good

  9. #9
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    up...


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  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mc pyro.'s Avatar
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    yo this was ill really liked the concept and it kept my interest never got borin or nuttin multis and rhymes was dope as hell those came great so did the flow vocab was nice saw some big words in there the wordplay was as well good fit toghether well and the sturcure was tight no flaws wit that dope peice stay up
    plz leave feed on the om in my sig
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  11. #11
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    thanks up.....~1~


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  12. #12
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    uppin..............


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  13. #13
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Awards PC HOF OM HOF
    not a big fan of cursing in topicals but blah its like an easy way to add emotion...no creativity in doing that, the imagery was decent,as well was the structure, the vocabulary could of been better.
    i just feel it's not appealing to the reader when your first couple sentence has the word fuck in it, its such a cheap,loud, word in topicals and for future reference i wouldnt use them. overall a half secent piec3e....piece no hate
    AI

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  14. #14
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    so you disliked it somewhat because i had one cuss word in it...lmfao..r u serious........well vocab was on point for this exact piece....and "fucking"..that was the emotion in the opening of the piece......sorry if little curse words offend you,but thats an artists creative muse,this is different than poetic shit..hip hop is gonna have cuss words in it..thats life..thanks for the replies though....


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  15. #15
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    uppin.


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