User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: The Seed.

  1. #1
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10

    The Seed.

    ..The Seed..

    Rotten to the core, the spoiled seed
    Bleeding into the streets
    The heartbeat of greed
    melted into the souls of trauma
    When you can’t nudge your pride
    … there’s no room for honor.

    Try n’ Seek out a shard of light
    The darkness shrouded by blight
    No end in sight…
    The lost children mill about in spite

    It started with minor dark deeds
    Pleased to break and shatter
    Torn matter to shreds to feed the sensations
    Life aint right, delirious mystery, no mission

    Lead soaked in blood
    I live by the sharpened blade
    Climbing hills covered in mud

    My peers ate the smiles
    Deep infested digestion of wonder
    The phone whispers dials
    File down the ingrained brain
    Downfall of an idea
    Seal the deal written on burned parchment
    Resent each department

    Everyone I know, dead
    Or fed to an undesirable mix up
    Stitched up , can’t feel licks
    After a few more thoughts
    Ill ramble, rain n droughts

    The world spins
    The ribbon trips and passed
    At last the sunlight hits the sin bin
    READ MORE

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    California
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,608
    Battle Record
    31-10
    v/NICE

    I liked the whole piece...I am guessing it wasn't supposed to rhyme...so besides that...really nice stuff here. I magery was nice...you put it togehter for me well in my mind...overall good job...8.5/10...keep going...nice shit.

  3. #3
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    San Jose (Bay Area), California
    Age
    42
    Posts
    837
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Nice Piece!!! This is great poetry...elabaorate in many ways, it truly leaves the reader to intereprate things for his or herself...I liked this piece alot...It has sooo much to offer...its a clear display of good poetry...Im drunk an all but It got me to think deeply...peace...

    If you get a chance hit me up on my latest piece...your feedback is greatly appreciated...
    These Are The Times
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293356

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10
    hehehe drunk fool

    thanks Leet...

    woot.
    READ MORE

  5. #5
    resistance is futile.
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,248
    nice piece, didnt feel much emotion in it but still. your imagination was great, i can picture this quite vividly, plus you rhyming and structure are somehow perfect it flows very nice. as for the message itself, its good, nothing too complicated but still on a very respectable level.

    best part of this was your opener, fucking dope


    Rotten to the core, the spoiled seed
    Bleeding into the streets
    The heartbeat of greed
    melted into the souls of trauma
    When you can’t nudge your pride
    … there’s no room for honor.


    could you now please RTF

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292889

  6. #6
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10
    up.
    READ MORE

  7. #7
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10
    im climbing into your brain... get the step latter ready.
    READ MORE

  8. #8
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    ill poetry....vocab was ill...not to complex but still ill...your ordplay and structure was tight....no real rhyme scheme except for here and there...but still ill never the less......i dig your wordplay in this piece alot though....i really enjoyed every aspect of this piece in general...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    New York
    Age
    35
    Posts
    558
    Battle Record
    10-10
    good poetic peice. i was feeling it.
    nice topic. excellent vocab usage.
    flowed very well this was really good.
    keep it up. peace~

Similar Threads

  1. seed of change
    By 143 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: September 27th, 2009, 01:22 AM
  2. Serpant's seed
    By da king01 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: March 24th, 2006, 02:05 PM
  3. Seed To My Roots
    By Ethical in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: January 4th, 2006, 06:08 PM
  4. 4 my seed
    By blessedtongue in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: September 3rd, 2005, 10:08 PM
  5. #12 Seed Vs. #5 Seed
    By mic in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 18th, 2005, 08:12 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •