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Thread: Heart Of Stone

  1. #1
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Heart Of Stone

    Heart Of Stone

    The bird’s flock, the world stops in shock
    A single shot, causes all hearts to drop
    And all souls to vanish, and disappear eternally
    Maternity wards, are covered with whores
    The world’s core, is rotten, no happiness anymore
    World leaders, encourage racism and war
    The doorway to hell, as been left ajar
    The sweetest food, has now turned sour
    Nothing we say can ever bring back the lost
    Riposte, has been granted………..at a cost

    As old man winter weeps, and Lady summer cries
    The veterans of war, lay down and die


    Nuclear warheads, guns bombs, lives gone
    The night’s long, the bright dawn, no longer shines on,
    Ahead of the population, we have a group of impatient
    And hastened, people, the last goodbye is belated
    For this is the tragedy, that we all have awaited
    Everyone is hated, everyone is discriminated
    Against, war has flattened us all, forced us down
    Towns, blown up, we have no where to go now
    Nothing makes sense, nothing has a meaning
    We all know, this time there is no healing

    The wind blows, the grass grows, time froze
    When psycho’s covered a world with their sideshows


    The T.V shows bloodied soldiers, killing innocent men
    They whisper to them, that this is the end, and cut off their head
    Where does this evil come from? why can’t we live in Peace?
    Why can’t the killing cease? Or stop for a while at least?
    We kill and torture, blow each other up with mortars
    The government orders, fall deaf in the ears of soldiers
    With boulders on their shoulders, war just makes them colder
    The hate will not smoulder as they get older
    It sometimes seems, that from hell we all have grown
    We must have a God with a heart of Stone

    The end of the world comes, as Satan laughs like a Muppet
    Because he knows that we are nothing else but his puppet

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  2. #2
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Last edited by Witty; May 16th, 2006 at 01:17 PM

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  3. #3
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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  4. #4
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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  5. #5
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    seriously dudes don't fucking sleep on this!!!!

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  6. #6
    Newbie mosh_master's Avatar
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    word, this is getting way too slept on
    deep shit, ya had alot of nice metaphors and meaning in the lines. flow was a short, abrupt one, which sounded good for most of the piece. ya rhyming structure and technique was tight, made it sound really nice. and the topic was dope too, and the ending was tight.
    real nice drop, my man. stay at it
    return feedback on mine, they gettin' slept on too

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  7. #7
    Destiny
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    dope closer man. real nice read overall. i don't believe i've read your work before. interesting style. you used a great amount of multies. it made for a great read, although some areas could use some work in flow. best part of the verse was its emotion and imagery. topic is a bit played, but you did a good job on it nonetheless. and as I said, your best line was the closer. great job.

    hit my piece up when you see it.

    thanks.

    peACE


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  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    This was a very good piece, the multiple rhymes enhanced the lyrical content higly and the way you writ it was excellent to. The bold parts practically co-existed with the verses and were a good addition, like a soliliquey or something. The 3 plots all added up to make the main plot and did so extremely well. Overall, a very good piece and it should work for you in the writers den.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  9. #9
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    word, this is getting way too slept on
    deep shit, ya had alot of nice metaphors and meaning in the lines. flow was a short, abrupt one, which sounded good for most of the piece. ya rhyming structure and technique was tight, made it sound really nice. and the topic was dope too, and the ending was tight.
    real nice drop, my man. stay at it
    ^^^
    Couldn't word it better.....This shit was dope...

  10. #10
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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