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Thread: Una Palabra Ft Daz

  1. #1
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    Una Palabra Ft Daz

    From the man on fire soundtrack.

    Bold and Itallics-Carlos Varela
    Normal-Daz

    Una palabra no dice nada
    y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
    igual que el viento que esconde el agua

    Una mirada no dice nada
    y al mismo tiempo lo dice todo
    como la lluvia sobre tu cara
    o el viejo mapa de algún tesoro.

    Una verdad no dice nada
    y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
    como una hoguera que no se apaga
    como una piedra que nace polvo.

    Si un día me faltas no seré nada
    y al mismo tiempo lo seré todo
    porque en tus ojos están mis alas
    y está la orilla donde me ahogo,
    porque en tus ojos están mis alas
    y está la orilla donde me ahogo.



    I've said so much to you, but now im at a lost for words
    i've been tossing words, i know i seemed a little off at first
    & im embossed with hurt, probably think im an awful jerk
    Im swallowing pain, so its hard to get my jaws to work
    What can i say? Its a struggle just gettin ya look
    i speak volumes, yet you'd never find my shit in a book
    of love i have, but im blanked out, you read between the lines
    I swim in joy in the ocenas that i see beneath your eyes

    A word says nothing
    And at the same time it hides everything
    Just as the wind that hides the water
    Like the flowers that hide the mud.


    I keep looking, seeing you through my perfectionist's eyes
    and finding nothing wrong, yet somehow you perfected my life
    you never look my way, i wonder if you notice me staring
    loving your look, but i wonder if you notice me caring
    I hope its apparent, theres not much more i can do for ya glance
    as far as sex, lets just say i would fuck you through ya pants
    your so damn sexy, curvey, cant put it in words see..
    you've got a bottle shape, that'll dry a desert of thirsty
    unworthy, you never notice, cant say that im sad though..
    chzu it's amazing how you can brighten the day of a shadow
    a battle, my amazon, you quell all my fears
    but i can drown in ya face when it wells up with tears

    A glance says nothing
    And at the same time it says everything
    Like the rain on your face
    Or an old treasure map.

    We finally talk, cant explain how u've fired me up
    you've got planter's truckers love, its driving me nuts
    I'd die for your touch, seriously i'd give my life for your kiss
    im bankin on love, i'd cash out if thats the price that i live
    im riflin' through shit, trynna find something that can show you i care
    your the light of my life, yet how can i show you im here?
    supposed to be there, but still i feel damned when i doubt u
    its like having no employes, cant manage without you

    A truth says nothing
    And at the same time it hides everything
    Like a bonfire that does not go out
    Like a stone that is born dust.



    If one day I'm without you, I will be nothing
    And at the same time I will be everything
    Because in your eyes are my wings
    And the shore where I drown,
    Because in your eyes are my wings
    And the shore where I drown.


    "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

    Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)


    links up shortly.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post4449837
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...01#post4449801
    Last edited by Daz; May 15th, 2006 at 10:14 PM
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  2. #2
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    Up nigga.
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    Supermod Me.

  3. #3
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    Smile

    what the fuck.
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    shit sucks.......-8 out of 10.....good attempt at making shit rhyme...but it didn't pussy

  5. #5
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    lmfao.. Anyone that knows anything?
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  6. #6
    Is Gettin' Busy. Orikle's Avatar
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    Bruther this was fucking DOPE!...SoooO tight man. Felt maadd emotion through the whole thing hey...You had a real nice structure, not one rhyme seemed force. None of that over-do multi shit I see around. First line that made me psyched was,

    "of love i have, but im blanked out, you read between the lines
    I swim in joy in the ocenas that i see beneath your eyes.."


    ^ So tight man. Love anything to do with the eyes haha such a crazy object huh. Used mad imagery. & you followed it up sooOo nicely!

    "A word says nothing
    And at the same time it hides everything
    Just as the wind that hides the water
    Like the flowers that hide the mud."


    ^ Fucking beautiful man, all of these little side notes were. Such dope little thoughts, had me thinking, had me genuinely interested. Loved it - I would quote them all but its a waste of space haha just understand it was wicked. All of it was Gold man - I'll tell ya bruther haha you fix up these next few lines I'm about to mention and then I will nominate it for legends - I felt it that much...The Following lines need to be changed.

    "your so damn sexy, curvey enough to leave a gay man smiley
    Your like a globe, i'd bury my face in your mountains and valleys"


    ^ First line just seemed like it didn't fit with the piece, seemed way too simple and kinda childish if ya get me? Didn't really go with the tone of the work. The second line has a great idea but I reckon you can word it ALOT better.

    Take these out of the piece, replace them or just delete them and I'll take it straight to the legends forum haha I am hella psyched on it.

    Fucking Beautiful.

    Peace.
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  7. #7
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    line changed
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  8. #8
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Awards Legendary Member Legendary Battle Legendary OM OM HOF
    and finding nothing wrong, yet somehow you perfected my life
    word. this shit was dope daz. I told you I liked that line. still had to quote it tho. I`m lovin` that shit. it`s mad real to me. you don`t even know lol. word at me not understandin` the spanish then you tellin` me lol. them parts were dope as fuck too (the itallics). your parts kept it real. a couple parts went comedic. but was still real so it went dope with the rest even tho it made you laugh. nah mean. keep doin` ur thing.

    A.i

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  9. #9
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    You've gotten better. I liked this a lot actually. Very different quality of writing you brought to this OM section (spanish part). I was feeling that. Your lines have gotten better and you've elevated your writing style to being more concise yet vivid. And you had some memorable lines:

    I keep looking, seeing you through my perfectionist's eyes
    and finding nothing wrong, yet somehow you perfected my life
    you never look my way, i wonder if you notice me staring
    loving your look, but i wonder if you notice me caring
    I hope its apparent, theres not much more i can do for ya glance
    as far as sex, lets just say i would fuck you through ya pants
    your so damn sexy, curvey, cant put it in words see..
    you've got a bottle shape, that'll dry a desert of thirsty
    unworthy, you never notice, cant say that im sad though..
    chzu it's amazing how you can brighten the day of a shadow
    a battle, my amazon, you quell all my fears
    but i can drown in ya face when it wells up with tears

    ^My favorite stanza. I especially like the last two lines. This stanza was full of metaphorical one-liner statements. You put your heart into. I was feeling it.

    Good shit Daz
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  10. #10
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    word

    alot of nice lines in this one Daz.

    lol @ the spanish part.

    felt this though. too many quotables to mention. but yea props on this dude.

    keep dropping.
    UA

  11. #11
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    thanks up.
    Always Impervious an Axis Power.


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