The Reason I Write

[NiNjah Red]

...

Drifting between dreamland and realism, as I lay awake
…craving concepts fit for - literate lips to articulate
Song forms that shift spirits; words can deflate or lift
It’s as if God blessed Us rich; never forsake your gift
Heart attached to a pen, my bloodstreams thru the stem
…Forming vibrant vowels & consonants
shaping prose laden with poetical substance
Mental conscience grows applying entire science
…I arise, standing on shoulders of giants
Truly graphic vision, masterminding raw inscription
crafty convicts in prison enter rhyming for escapism
Rebellious rhythm unleashed, each scribe to his scroll
manifold scripts hit the globe seeping vibes thru its soul
Fixed deep in a mould engrossed as the intro is closed

Words can equal teardrops
streaming
down
the page
The heart hungers, yet hides
dreaming
love
its way

This world is wide, everybody’s mind ticks different
some of us are pro predatory; otherwise its victim
The clock hands hasten forth to a fatalistic era
…while the majority live within systematic terror
We’ve been whisperers & listeners of nasty predictions
I’ve seen jailbirds set-free, & the free imprisoned
Nothing in life is gratis; everything is a business
spirit’s scared shitless, witch crafting stuns the witless
I witness anguish & languish of this ancient language
Overt with words, observe proverbs till nerves grow sic
I try getting a grip; yet keep passing it off as postscript
Derelict dreams resurface arousing my brainwaves
riding this life cycle; ending up in the same place…
Where the pain aches, & all lame mistakes cost dearly
I’m merely mortal in the flesh; my time is a lost theory
Most clearly - I pen the prose & oppose a xenophobe
…evil genes grow tenfold
....................intending to explode & end the globe

Words can be like arrows
slashing
through
the flesh
The mouth opens, then shoots
cursing
with
each breath

Truth burns the astute learn, others laugh at mistakes
while many toasted love songs, I floated anguish & hate
Quite psycho once attitude sunk wit no more shit to lose
I abhor fucking queues, Neva meta whore I didn’t use
My viewpoints gouge pupils, new skills are even to come
broken teeth bleeding gums utilizing freedom of tongue
Close to mastery… disclosing deftly woven tapestries
those of artistry played major parts marking history
Willy Lynch & his Klan cant slap me with a writing ban
son of a sonnet… parables’ pulsating my typing hand
Open mind-state, rays radiate verse within emotion
spoken therapy…; I’ll liberate this hidden emulsion
Born once in a blue moon beneath the sizzling stars
Scholars develop semantics scribbling dazzling bars

These words can stir greatness
lifting
souls
up high
The mind works miracles
blessing
those
in sight

[NiNjah Red]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290086
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290013

[Duzt]

a very poetic style of writing...the flow was a bit off in some places...

Drifting between dreamland and realism, as I lay awake
…craving concepts fit for - literate lips to articulate
Song forms that shift spirits; words can deflate or lift
It’s as if God blessed Us rich; never forsake your gift
Heart attached to a pen, my bloodstreams thru the stem

i loved the opening lines...made me want to keep on reading...

We’ve been whisperers & listeners of nasty predictions
I’ve seen jailbirds set-free, & the free imprisoned
Nothing in life is gratis; everything is a business

i can really agree to thatshit without a doubt...im really likin your style man...hit me up sometime we could get a collab goin...

[~SaDe~]

this was alright
the flow was cool yamean
you had some decent vocab as well the whole thing was all good
but you couldve made this come more though out from you personally
it wasnt bad at all ui liked the shit you wrote.... you brought out some deep thoughts 2 this shit like real lofe shit and thats the real deal and thats wassup

[LedgenZ]

^This guy...?

huh...hmmmmmmm....okay

Your dope. Wow... what can i say? I thoroughly enjoyed this piece from top to bottom. Everything was on point. Your wordplay was insane, your scheme was sick, your vocab is tight and your language was crafty. Your really have on hell knack for writting.

[Engivale]

Bravo. Loved the whole thing. I clicked this piece randomly and had no intentions of reading it but the first few lines were good enough to get me into it and it never relented in creativity and constant thought. Good stuff, give us another when u feel ready.

[Rap*Ture]

Very poetic, reminds me of a friend of mine...As mentioned flow may have been a bit off...But you've definately elevated quite a bit...Good to see someone actually using RB to elevate...like it was meant...But back to your lyrics...Excellent vocab, multies were aight...Concept was fantastic I can really relate...Overall a very decent piece..Always room ta elevate an' your makin' a noticable effort...If I were to rate this piece I'd have ta give it a 8/10...because like I said, always room for elevation...Stay uppin'...nice work..Word...You have DEFINATE potential!

[QaaHolic]

this was good nice stlye of writting and good structure

[Maaco]

Love'n tha piece


iight flow was off a lil prbzz weakest part of the drop
Structure was nice
Vocab was nicee emotion was there
Sorry my feed anit longer but it was a good piece just lil off on the flow homie

[ghostflow]

this piece fams was really deep. in a poetic relm kind of. This piece had some real good imagry in and it made the structure nice. the concept was real clear to understand. the vocabulary was good, but it fit str8 in the piece. you had sum okay ryhme shceme in this also. but some parts caughtmy attention like:

Drifting between dreamland and realism, as I lay awake
…craving concepts fit for - literate lips to articulate
Song forms that shift spirits; words can deflate or lift
It’s as if God blessed Us rich; never forsake your gift
Heart attached to a pen, my bloodstreams thru the stem

keep writing fams.....
.......... peep the OM in my sig

[NiNjah Red]

f'sho.thanx for checkin it out yo...........



format was meant to come across different. but it seems i can no longer control the font settings

[P. Mortuus]

This was an excellent Poetic piece ma dog, the flow was good and so was the structure ( i believe you were meant to make it centered, but shit happens) The imagery, descriptive words were all good and so was the message you were tryin to portray, Vocab as usual was top notch...another good drop, just don't get complacent lol....keep it up

[mcakbar]

Well, this was THE best I've seen so far from you in OM, I personally don't see anything wrong with the flow.

It ticks all the boxes throughout.

Topic - Showing the inspiration changing into creativity, changing into raps - loving it.

I am myself inspired by this piece.

Surely worth nominating into hall of fame.

[Ben A. Newly-Rayped]

Drifting between dreamland and realism, as I lay awake
…craving concepts fit for - literate lips to articulate
Song forms that shift spirits; words can deflate or lift
It’s as if God blessed Us rich; never forsake your gift

pretty good way to open it

this piece was pretty good in my eyes deff aint hall of fame yet
u need to get rid of tha hooks tho that shit aint needed in a open mic there kinda annoying
but tha opener was pretty good i was feelin that
ur flow was alright i have seen u do better cuz tha flow was off more than ussal
ur wordplay was meh kinda shifty but yet some how u kept it up so its still good
ur strutre was deff tha worst part i did not like tha strutre at all that needs to improve
ur topic was good not enough ppl write on this kinda topic and can make it dope
this was a pretty good piece keep it up homie ~1~

[BKPANTHA POET]

okay i liked this piece....it was really descriptive and the structure was aight....the first couple of bars were coo, but then it started soundin like u were just puttin togetha wateva sound nice..... i liked ur concept tho...ur title for this piece could had been a lil more witty on more in depth so u can draw people to read it....keep it up doe no hate famo