User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Never Trust

  1. April 26th, 2006, 01:30 AM #1
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7

    Never Trust

    This is a quick song i wrote today, if it helpz-i wrote the song wit a beat by Conejo's song called Angel of Death, itz a slow but deep beat the lyricz go slow so hopefully that'll help u understand the flow


    Verse 1

    Silently--I devise a scheme for your demise so be advised
    My eyez gleam in evil i'm trapped in a world of lies
    I never try to be equal
    I'm sentenced to betrayal
    Cuz muthafuckerz don't know how to be loyal
    Yeah i'm usually nice but not right now
    I'm rolling the dice
    Every number is a variation of your life's end
    And i got more than one choice
    That's twelve to be exact
    And trust ima be on tact when i attack
    This shit i say ain't bullshit
    And if you don't like it fuck it just split
    Cuz i'm through with caring
    Buck wit a mack-nitty to any nigga that stay staring (echo fade out)

    Chorus:

    In the city the city Chi I never trust
    Watchin mah back twenty-four seven is a must
    I don't blame you if you commence to gunz bust
    (repeat 1x)

    Verse 2:

    In the Chi you either kill or you die
    Infinite methodz of being aquainted with death
    Memories of the past instigate nightmarez of mah last breath
    Of all possibilities which will it be?
    Somethin tellin me mah fate is to die violently
    I feel the need to see foez bleed
    That's mah propriety
    Backstabberz all up in mah place
    Act like they down and smile in mah face
    So cock the hammer just in case
    Keepin it gangsta, so watch it you end up a victim
    When I resort to shank ya
    That's the mentality of a Chicago gansta
    Fool that's our reality
    ...never trust only...bust

    Chorus
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. April 26th, 2006, 01:33 AM #2
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288901

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288869
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. April 26th, 2006, 01:41 AM #3
    noncentz
    noncentz is offline
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    word i like that a lil thug cliche but it has mad potential and promice of only elivation stay up twin and peep my ish
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. April 26th, 2006, 02:19 AM #4
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    uppin
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. April 26th, 2006, 04:23 AM #5
    Engivale
    Engivale is offline
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Knoxville, Tennessee.
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,350
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Awards WOP Champion
    I liked the first verse quite a bit more than the second one, I thought that was more continuity to your verse structure and it flowed better. But I agree with noncentz, just keep practicing and I think you can get pretty good at this.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. April 26th, 2006, 08:08 AM #6
    haji
    haji is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Age
    38
    Posts
    36
    Battle Record
    0-1
    well it wasn't bad.it was aight
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. April 26th, 2006, 01:46 PM #7
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    uppin
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. April 26th, 2006, 11:29 PM #8
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    uppin--gimme some feedback homiez
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. April 27th, 2006, 12:08 AM #9
    Loch Loco
    Loch Loco is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Age
    37
    Posts
    158
    Battle Record
    3-2
    This piece shows a lot of room for growth, I think you have talent you just need to develope a technique and chip at it until your were you want to be. I was feelin' the concept and the flow was on point as well was your vocab, the rhyme scheme was basic but it shows potential. I think your dope you just need to keep at it and keep getting better. I'll look for more of your work.

    Peace
    Battles that need Closure


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. April 27th, 2006, 03:06 AM #10
    A.O.D
    A.O.D is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Age
    39
    Posts
    834
    Battle Record
    2-3
    I would recomend working on your structure and flow of this peice...your vocab was decent and you do show room for growth so keep elevating and you'll get there. Stay up. Late.
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. April 27th, 2006, 02:36 PM #11
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    koo thankz for that feedback
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. April 27th, 2006, 05:35 PM #12
    Ink27
    Ink27 is offline
    Newbie Ink27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Cicero
    Age
    37
    Posts
    27
    Battle Record
    1-0
    It was straight nigga u got a good vocabulary, i liked da 2nd verse better cuz 2 me it seemed 2 flow better keep on postin shit and ill comment on ur shit
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. April 27th, 2006, 05:38 PM #13
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    flow was a bit choppy man..you should elevate on that....
    topic was pretty interesting and ya rhymes were pretty nice..
    vocab and complexity was descent overall...elevate on that too
    but overall this wasnt bad....you got sum potential..keep at it..peace~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. April 27th, 2006, 08:26 PM #14
    Wireless
    Wireless is offline
    Swing Life Away Wireless's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Tennessee
    Age
    32
    Posts
    3,433
    Battle Record
    11-1
    Decent read...

    OK...

    First thing, I thought the flow lacked in some areas, but it stayed solid in most areas..I would suggest trying to even out your syllables for the most part...Also, I would suggest some more use of internals (multis) to make it a little more complex...I really liked you vocabulary...the beginning started out great, got me hooked into the verse. You did seem to fall off towards the end, though. For the most part, though, you stayed consistant. The Hook was interesting...Nice read, I see potential..

    Mondo Thugs l The Truth


    If I'm too simple, then you just dont get the basics.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. April 29th, 2006, 04:11 PM #15
    chitown_mex11
    chitown_mex11 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    wicked streetz of chitown
    Age
    37
    Posts
    177
    Battle Record
    2-7
    last bump
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. the trust in you
    By Baby-GStyle's in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: August 18th, 2005, 03:31 PM
  2. ..But Trust..
    By Jonezy in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: April 5th, 2005, 01:43 PM
  3. Trust
    By Vikkie™ in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: February 7th, 2005, 06:29 PM
  4. cant trust 'em
    By Tri_1 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 11th, 2004, 11:14 AM
  5. who can YOU trust?
    By Key Tone in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: March 22nd, 2004, 09:39 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules