When God Was To Late

[So.Fist.Acated]

When God was To Late

As her gas mask slapped on, she gasped her last conscious breath
Poor lil baby Beth, the image of her death haunts as she slept
Thoughts of abortion taunts as she wept, locked in mentation
Blocked from sensations, plus stocked with frustration
For stopping creation, she's takin the life of an innocent
Her conscience overwhelms her, make it stop, she can’t finish it
But no, wait, she's to late, the doctors are operating
She prays for a miracle, but God is not cooperating
Common now stop debating, as time goes by it only becomes harder
She must do right, she must fight for the life of her daughter
Suddenly a light from the father shone in response
As her anxiety overtaken by the assuring nonchalance
She tossed in her mind as she violently struggled to awake
Not worrying of her daughter or the troubles that await
She juggles her fate in her mind as her eyes start to flutter
She returns to reality, heart to her daughter deprived of a mother
She realized that to have a child is to earn God's blessing
She cries, "No! I can’t go through with this, I learned my lesson!"
The doctors turned with expressions extremely odd on their face
And at that moment she realized, that God was to late.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287744
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287756

[Ben A. Newly-Rayped]

As her gas mask slapped on, she gasped her last conscious breath
Poor lil baby Beth, the image of her death haunts as she slept
Thoughts of abortion taunts as she wept, locked in mentation
Blocked from sensations, plus stocked with frustration

nice way to start tha drop i was feelin that

aight u had very good flow it rarely fell off i cant say ive seen better from u cuz i aint seen no oms from u but this was deff a good part

But no, wait, she's to late, the doctors are operating
She prays for a miracle, but God is not cooperating
Common now stop debating, as time goes by it only becomes harder
She must do right, she must fight for the life of her daughter

u had nice wordplay it was good all togther it was never really off
ur sturctre was pretty dam good i could read it perfect an tha lines were pefect length
tha topic u choose was ok alot of ppl write bout stuff liek this but its still a hard topic to write on an u kept on tha topic for tha whole piece

ps.u need 2 links

[So.Fist.Acated]

i kno im gettin at those 2 links man... yo thanks 4 da feed tho
greatly appreciated

[Dark_Shadow]

As her gas mask slapped on, she gasped her last conscious breath
Poor lil baby Beth, the image of her death haunts as she slept
Thoughts of abortion taunts as she wept, locked in mentation
Blocked from sensations, plus stocked with frustration

nice way to start tha drop i was feelin that

aight u had very good flow it rarely fell off i cant say ive seen better from u cuz i aint seen no oms from u but this was deff a good part

But no, wait, she's to late, the doctors are operating
She prays for a miracle, but God is not cooperating
Common now stop debating, as time goes by it only becomes harder
She must do right, she must fight for the life of her daughter

u had nice wordplay it was good all togther it was never really off
ur sturctre was pretty dam good i could read it perfect an tha lines were pefect length
tha topic u choose was ok alot of ppl write bout stuff liek this but its still a hard topic to write on an u kept on tha topic for tha whole piece

ps.u need 2 links

lol word..it was real good...now less battle homie..

[.Vamp]

Dope peice...great catcher words..I liked the beginning as she becomes away of what she's doin..and the fight to reverse it....The means of intervention portaid as the "god" figure..Shows the presence of regret..Meanin in which that The beleif of the major desicion that she is about to make...Her resistance to speak her mind is somewhat unusual to me which makes me think forward in the story..but leads to more realization that she must do something..Further convincing her that she must speak out....Ending was expected seein as how you named the peice but was greatly portrayd with the imagery that you wrote............

Vocab and multies kept me reading through this peice...Im not goin to say shit about flow and structure because this is a written peice...I your mind there is a beat so i look past all that..this was more of a spoken emotional peice...Greatly pleased reading this peice...will look forward into reading more of your work..

~1~

[So.Fist.Acated]

Aight we'll do

lol word..it was real good...now less battle homie..

and hold up a bit shadow, i might have a crew battle...

[KZK]

flo is off, u can write but u cant have flo , ur still at a text level and with ur writing u will not allow urself to elevate to a much much higher level, imagry and vocab is great , structure isnt important to me but it was good and solid, creativity was there and great topic.

please leave feed on my OM

[So.Fist.Acated]

aight thanks man i'll work on it... and i'll hit ur shit up right now

[So.Fist.Acated]

rise.

[So.Fist.Acated]

feed ne1? i'll return the favor jus drop a link at the end of ur feed or atleast do wut DVS is doing

[So.Fist.Acated]

uppin again common RB wuts wit the no feed?

[CrosT Over]

Nice Piece You Had Some Good Multies In There, Overall I Was Feelin The Piece Even Though I Disagree With It, Cause God Is Never To Late It's The People Who Recieve God To Late, But Besides That I Was Feelin Your Use Of Imagery And Description, Keep Upp With The Writing, I Think You Can Do A Lot Better But Overall Nice Piece

[Ether Spitter]

hmmm....i like the concept..deep for what its true meaning holds and the question we all find ourselves asking moment to moment. God where....i think...if she searched within she would find the God within an coulda stopped her sitcho...lol...(i read this like a daytime soap) but ya imagery was coo...story had fluidity...
like i said..tight theme...ya wording mispelled here n there...it added choppyness...

but overall it was coo

yo

[This Aint Beef]

Enjoyed this to a certain extent. Content was deep...seems you were referring to a regretted abortion, or a woman who lost her daughter through an accident while she was still pregnant.

You used an expansive vocab, though at times it seemed you were forcing it. The title should be "When God Was Too Late", an extra o lol. I would go for better sentance starters when writing this type of drop. Each line seemed to be starting with "she". Anyway nice flow & all that so nice drop, keep it up.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287905
^ Return the feed if you have the time bro...

[So.Fist.Acated]

aight thanks 4 da feed, and i mispelled to cuz i meant 2 put too when i made the thread, but when i did the mini title i didnt wanna look like an idiot i just left it hopin no1 would notice lol... ya caught me
and this was meant 2 b a bit of a controversial piece to all of you who said well god was never 2 late, i kinda left that open 4 discussion. but wut i was getting at was, she was really 2 late in finding god. but yeah discuss it up in ya feed..
thanks 4 da feed y'all and i'll hit urs up right now beef.