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Thread: One day at a time

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    pennsylvania
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11

    One day at a time

    a quick verse out of frustration

    Everyday i wake up with no ambition to move
    hittin the snooze, everythings fucked n im pissin the blues
    know i got reason but i got this mission confused,wishin for clues
    see lifes a bitch and sober i cant face her
    need a pick me up, 151 and no chaser
    look at other people lifes, why i gotta live mine this way
    i aint lyin in the lines i say, i got court dates and fines to pay
    this shits takin over my life with a vengence
    i need a job and i jus got my liscense suspended
    depressed? on average im sayin fuck twice in a sentence
    this stress is buildin up n i cant fight it alone
    its like a knife in my bone plus im fightin at home
    success is slippin outta my reach
    fuck rappin i jus wanna shout on some beats
    cuz im this close to bein kicked out on the streets
    college? cop trouble is gunna fuck up my chance for a loan
    needa talk to someone n my girl wont answer the phone
    they say todays a gift, yesterdays history n tomorrows a mistery
    a gift? yea thanks alot for givin me misery
    all these thoughts do is stay in my mind
    they're gettin theirs n im waitin for mine, take it one day at a time

    if u want me to return feed jus drop a link

  2. #2
    ...
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    1,643
    Battle Record
    14-2
    This was a coo little joint, Short but still good. Rhyme scheme here was kinda nice. Flow was on point through out most of it. Can you see you had some emotions poured into this, but lacked a little creativity. Just work on that and you'll be fine and if you had alot of frustration you shoulda took the time to write a little bit more nah mean? To spill all your feelings. Heres some of the lines I liked:

    Everyday i wake up with no ambition to move
    hittin the snooze, everythings fucked n im pissin the blues
    know i got reason but i got this mission confused,wishin for clues

    Overall not bad little drop, Hope to see some longer drops from you in the future. Keep elevating. Peace Easy!

  3. #3
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    pennsylvania
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11
    thanks for the feed, uppin for some more

  4. #4
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    pennsylvania
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11
    anyone else?

  5. #5
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,685
    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.


    I HAVE TO HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.

    Reason: No Links.


    -Brix.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

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