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Thread: Off The Mind

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Age
    38
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    0-1

    Off The Mind

    This Is Real Tense
    Shots To The Head For Talking Shit Make Sense
    Because Don't Talk Shit To A Man Who Have Issues
    Thats Why He's Killing You But God Will Bless You
    Sometimes a Threat From A Thug Is Just To Test You
    Got Other Crews But Nobody's With You
    The Streets Are Dark Nigga You Just Got Shot You Can't Walk
    Because You Had To Talk Shit And for That You Got Spark
    See My Ryhmes Better Tangy And So Sweet
    My Ryhmes May Taste Like Tea But Don't Fuck With Me
    Im The Best Ever Since Rakim Was Gone
    Still Rocafella Won't Get Me With Shawn
    You Know Jay-Z Right Shawn Carter Executive Producer
    Just Blaze Production I Just Had To Take It Over

    Off The Mind Ya Know

    www.freewebs.com/jailhouseonline
    www.myspace.com/jailhousemusic

  2. #2
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Mar 2006
    Location
    Northern Ireland
    Age
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    17,814
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    11-10
    Awards OM HOF
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    24 x OM Hall Of Fame

  3. #3
    nice, i like the flow and everything, all right rhymes, u could work on it... but i guess i like it.... leave some feedback on mine-

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287198

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  4. #4
    Swing Life Away Wireless's Avatar
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    Battle Record
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    hmmm...

    Ok, this wasn't really that great...In OM, you don't really need to promote yourself...But, I'll get to the verse's content now...

    It had a decent flow, but it times it seemed sort of chopped...You had a few decent metaphors but nothing amazing...You're vocabulary could stand a lot of work; it was very simplistic...It just seems to get boring when all you see is 1-syllable words...that's just my opinion, though...It rhyme well, I'll give you that...It was somewhat of a boring read, though..I see potential, but you're going to have to practice a lot...

    Mondo Thugs l The Truth


    If I'm too simple, then you just dont get the basics.

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