HW Title Match Bounce 5-0 Vs. Brixton 4-1

[Tim]

HW Title Match Bounce 5-0 Vs. Brixton 4-1

Checkins Due Thursday April 6th 11:59 PM Western
Verses Due Saturday April 8th 11:59 PM Western

Topic:If I cant Cry can I borrow a tear

Leave Four Voting Links In Checkin

[B.I.Detained.]

Well ain't that some shit, good luck, dude.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...46#post4287046

[Bounce]

check

[B.I.Detained.]

A story..

10,000 bottles of beer on the wall,
10,000 bottles of beer.
Knock one down, count it back round,
999 bottles of beer on the wall..

I'm lost in the late seventies, & I know ahead of me comes electro-therapy
I have 23 ECT's, 3 times a week - & even now, I dunno who I be.
I dunno who I see, as strangers in white coats grab a hold of my soul
Electrodes turn my emotions cold. Whether they know, how my life unfolds
Or whether they kill my thoughts of old.. I still feel what its like, alone.
Onto my "comfort zone", with padded walls that speak, whipser and groan
Working for drones who seclude me - on my own, without a phone to call
My loved ones at all. I feel like a sheltered, stiffed up parasol,
But without anything to balance me out, stupid and useless to shout
Obscenities, when they hold my amenities forever in their cluth of doubt.
My life is about - remembering long term memories, that will always be
Something that means so much to me, for my short term cannot see
What I've become, washed up World War II scum - thats forgotten
Just another bitter, old man who's slowly sunk to the bottom.
They've drained me rotten, I feel empty enough to fill my body in tears
But with so much already erased, I haven't cried in years.

465 bottles of beer on the wall,
465 bottles of beer.
Knock one down, count it back round,
464 bottles of beer on the wall.

He's still the same.. motionless to lame, one of few, easy to maintain.
Through his glare of pain, I see he still thinks that we fried his brain.
& that we're inhumane - all we did was analyse his thoughts 'n' dreams
Down the bottom of a problem, which leans towards it torn at the seams.
Born to receed, and leave a poor boy to grieve for what he believes
Is the truth - yet medical proof just proves his mind's treading leaves.
Rejecting what he needs.. & thats his head in a clinical safe-state.
Not a cynical mind-frame, of a war veteran devoured to this date..
He either cowers, hates - or spits back the contents of his plate
Into a sweet nurses face. Brought into a world at the wrong time & place.
But ain't that fate?
*A 17 year old boy who graced our steps and slept at our gate
Only to awake, shaking in violence, hauntingly silent.. he waits
For US to speak HIS name - & with that, the trust is gone.
Suddenly attacks the staff so brutal & strong..
.. so he's put into a comfort cell, where for now, he belongs.*
.
& for that same song he sings, kills my own soul and acts a sign
We'll probably never know what's going on in this poor kids mind.


200 bottles of beer on the wall,
200 bottles of beer.
Knock one down, count it back round,
199 bottles of beer on the wall.


-Brix.

[Bounce]

If I Can't Cry Can I Borrow a Tear?


June 10, 1944
Four days after the Allied invasion of Normandy

[ Massacre at Distomo:
A most despicable atrocity took place in the village Distomo, a province of Boeotia in Central Greece. A unit of the SS Police Panzergrenadier Regiment No 7, on an anti-partisan sweep, massacred 218 Greek civilians in the village.]

Through the eyes of a survivor...

For my village I can shed no tears
…trust that I’ve tried for years
instead I write my story in hopes,
…to borrow some of yours!

The tree-lined main street whispered in the painful tongue of these tortured souls
Blood drips in thick globes off those left swinging in the wind like orchard rows
Butchered displays of freshly torn flesh hung from the village trees and rooftops
A thousand new mops could never sop up all the life spilt fresh here on this spot
My eyes singed from the blinding images in binding scrimmages of mans wrath
Finding limitless the depths of wickedness as I sulk down this blood beaten path
House after house and shop after shop mutilated limbs lay scattered and chopped
Lopped-off like basket displays on guillotines I bask in dismay at killing scenes
Feeling green I hurl the contents of an empty stomach gone days without bread
I flirt w/insanity, all the while trapped in this tragedy as I hurt deep for the dead
I saw a woman stripped naked, by her side was an infant still suckled to breast
White-knuckled I buckled when I noticed the nipple was detached from the rest!

When you have seen the evils that men do
…the devil offends you,
& nothing defends you, from the wicked or cruel
…the system is crude,
& never expect to see these types of pictures
…ever painted in News,
& slated for spools to be broadcasted by fools
…so chose what you chew,
& hold on to a few memories that fuel the fires
…that brew deep within,
& hold your head higher when faced
…with such dire straights,
Because life is a lesson, & you might as well
…lesson the take!

They took everything from me, friends, family and in a sense my innocence
Gutted like the entrails of victims they left, my existence’s a mess ever since
Haunted by despicable acts of men driven mad frothing at the jugular of war
Corrupt to the core bloodshed erupts and disrupts the flow of life ever more
I endured more pain & washed more stains from blood caked walls than most
I’m a ghost of the man I once was touched by the icy fingers of an evil host
They killed every essence of my being, left me numb defenseless and fleeing
The dark corners, subjected to seeing the devils work through human beings
Men, women & children young and old fired upon, raped, beaten and stoned
By the maggot soldiers of symbolism in an era referenced as The Hemoclysm
I could hardly breathe for life let alone shed any tears from these sunken eyes
Drunken cries from a machine called war left me butchered & dried my eyes
so I can cry no more…

For my village I can shed no tears
…trust that I’ve tried for years
instead I write my story in hopes,
…to borrow some of yours!

[ The unit commander, SS Hauptstrumführer Lautenbach, was later charged with falsifying a military report on the massacre but the charges were dropped as the massacre was judged a 'military necessity'. Today, the skulls and bones of the victims are displayed in the Mausoleum of Distomo. In 1960, Germany paid the Greek government 115 million marks as compensation for the suffering of its citizens during the German occupation but as yet no payment is forthcoming for the victims of Distomo. ]


If I can’t cry can I borrow a tear?


By: Bounce

[T-Square]

Damn definatly a worth title match this week fellaz, Hard topic, both played well, both played this on a note of WW2 also, nice-

Brixton:: The wack job alcoholic theme was very well played, the bottles o beer song also played a somewhat disturbing picture aswell,
Key lines :Or whether they kill my thoughts of old.. I still feel what its like, alone.
Onto my "comfort zone", with padded walls that speak, whipser and groan
Working for drones who seclude me - on my own, without a phone to call
My loved ones at all. I feel like a sheltered, stiffed up parasol,
::Not a cynical mind-frame, of a war veteran devoured to this date..
He either cowers, hates - or spits back the contents of his plate
Into a sweet nurses face. Brought into a world at the wrong time & place.
But ain't that fate?

The ending was also very deep and well rounded to finish off the topic, nicely done...

Bounce-
Disturbing picture but thats jus part of the fucked up world we live in, Also nicely played with the helpless onlooker--
KEy lines
::My eyes singed from the blinding images in binding scrimmages of mans wrath
Finding limitless the depths of wickedness as I sulk down this blood beaten path
House after house and shop after shop mutilated limbs lay scattered and chopped
Lopped-off like basket displays on guillotines I bask in dismay at killing scenes

::I endured more pain & washed more stains from blood caked walls than most
I’m a ghost of the man I once was touched by the icy fingers of an evil host
They killed every essence of my being, left me numb defenseless and fleeing
The dark corners, subjected to seeing the devils work through human beings
Men, women & children young and old fired upon, raped, beaten and stoned::

Also I liked the slow tempo of the middle in the vurse, almost brought a borrowed tear to my glass eye,

Almost too close to call,

Wordplay and storytelling- Bounce
Attention keeping value- Bounce
Overall Originality- Brixton
Flow- Brixton
Shock Value- Brixton, I really enjoyed the end

Only by a pubic hair, but I gotta vote for Brixton, excelent story by both

\/ - Brixton

[Seneka]

Yep, this was the match to be looked at here. Both dropped with the same theme, both dropped with dopeness, but only one can win. To figure that out, let's digress the lyrics

Bounce - Came dope. He wrote a little less than Brixton. But he had dope rhymes, dope lyrics, nice flow. He came with it even more this time since he had time in his hands instead of Jack Daniels. So a great effort by Bounce.

Brixton - Came dope. He had a little more material than Bounce, but I thought his rhymes weren't quite as good as Bounce's and that made the difference because otherwise, it's practically even. So...

Winner - Bounce.

[NiNjah Red]

are we in the league.. still tom vote on this joint?

if so i will read it properly tonite and vote 2morrow

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay you both came with heat...

Bounce:
Wow, your imagery and depth into a topic never ceases to amaze me, the way you perceived this topic was very creative and origional, it was sinister, almost to the point that i could feel shivers running down my spine!... the emotion in this was felt, the fealiing of disgust and fear was very evident... although i'm not big on caring about rhyme, this was extremely good scheme, it flowed so well, and the transaction between lines really was effective and made it easy to read... the vocabulary was great, very extensive and EXTREMELY descriptive... I feel that you dumbed down for your audience, personally i prefer your complex peices, as i love to read things that can only be figured out through reading over and over again... but even saying this i loved this piece, glad to see your still keeping the talent you possess sharp.

Brix:
Once again this was an excellant perseption on the topic, and evidently well thought out... I loved the alcoholic theme to it, it also had a sinister effect to it, but less defined as bounce's... the first thing that struck me reading this was the flow and complex rhyme scheme, as i said i'm not a big fan of caring about multis and stuff, but i was pleasently impressed with yours... the vocab used wasn't as good as i usually see from your work, yet still was very descriptive and on point. although i loved this piece some of the lines seemed almost half assed and rushed, such as this line 'He's still the same.. motionless to lame, one of few, easy to maintain.
Through his glare of pain, I see he still thinks that we fried his brain.'
It didn't spoil the read for me, but it was a set back back in my enjoyment of the peice.
But this was great, well done.

Overall:
This to me was VERY close, but i think bounce JUST has it by the fact his was completely flawless, yet if brix had re worded a few lines i think he may have had this.

Well done both of you, this was a great read all round.

[Glory]

now this is a title match. damn good verses on both sides.

Brix-story was hypnotizing. very realistic. I enjoyed the 'beers on the wall' concept too. Imagery was overpowering and flow was pretty stable. The emotion was read and felt with every line. great verse.

Bounce-another great read in this battle. Imagery was slightly better than Brix verse so that was good. Other aspects of both verses was equal, but both approaches were similar but different at the same time. I enjoyed the flow of your verse and the serious tone.

extremely tough call here...this was a good match, but Im going to give this to the verse that I felt had a better story because everything else cancels out in my mind.

v/ Brix

excellent battle.

peACE

[Nib Oswald]

Brix- Wow, effort man. Awesome concept really well articulated through your flowing internals and dark imagery. Well structured, nice use of different viewpoints, just a finely written piece overall with a hauntingly bleak narrative undertone.

Bounce- Just like your ebola virus one, you went for a non-fiction theme and crafted a brilliant lyrical mosaic around it. Your internal multis and language use really outshone Brix here. Your rhymeing, assonance and consonance was thickly applied throughout, really accentuating the gory imagery and emotion. Fine structuring of your work... damn good match, fellas.

Vote: Bounce. Awesome work by both.

[NiNjah Red]

yeah this battle was sic fosho...both stories was of the shizzle.. as far as storyline and thought goes Brixx had the sicker twist to it i reckon.. connecting the falling bottles with souls was trippy..stil i thought bounces strory was on point and informative in certain aspects..also i thought bounce showed a slighter higher elevation in the rhyming skills and variations of flow and rythm was more adventurous and exiciting as such...biothn had sum graphic imagery all throughout... hard 1 to choose between.. far as story and creativity goes...tho i thought bounce excelled in rhymes vocab and flow variation...also overall presentation bounce had a more artistic edge on things

hot shit from both still

vote-Bounce

[Born To Kill]

Damn...

Very good...borderline excellent battle here.

Brix...

Real nice story...I like how you flipped perspectives from the patient to the docs...that was sharp.
However...it fucked me up some cuz, from the patient's perspective...he was a WWII vet...an old dude.
But when I read the doc's view...it seemed like he was justa crazy ass 17 year old...never saw war at all...is imagining it all.

I guess he's a drunk...thus the "99 bottles of beer on the wall" lingo...
But if he is...and he's imagining he was in WWII...woah...that's a lotta booze.

Really weird...but really nice shit...nice format...good internals.
Dope.

Bounce...

Wow...you find the most remote kinda atrocities to write about...

Nice history lesson...you always make me wish I was there...like with the "Ebola" one a few weeks back. Wishing I was a fly on the wall...so I could see the rapes and killings...watch the horror unfold. It'd be the biggest trip of all to be able to witness that first hand...right in front of your ass.

I mean, Ogrish gives me violence and unrelenting death...daily.
But to absorb so much in one sitting...and to see it live...that'd really be something.
And to see it like this...unfolding...watching the women get raped...makes me kinda ponder...how long is the pussy good in a case like this?
How many soldiers get to fuck her before she's deemed..."fucked too much".
And in a case like this...
Is the woman begging for it to stop? Or is she trying to convince more soldiers to fuck her...knowing, that if/when they stop...the blades or bullets come into play.
Getting to experience that shit would be fascinating.

I love it when your rhymes take me to these god-awful places and events that Ogrish can only relay to me afterwards...after the fact.
Your shit lets me see it, in my mind, at least...
As it happens.
Dope.

And to me, cuz I'm a sick fuck...better...sorry, Brix.

Vote: Bounce

[B.I.Detained.]

Guess this battle is yours my friend..
My verse would have beaten 90% of Rb..
Fuck you for being in that 10% haha..
Great verse. 2-5.

[Bounce]

^Nah, I was just lucky this time around.

That and I had some really potent smoke so I can't take all the credit.. lol

Great battle bro, and nice job with that verse...