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Thread: Grave Rain (My Stories)

  1. #1
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Grave Rain (My Stories)

    Grave Rain (My Stories)

    rain ..what about it? yeah, well ..know it's coming
    best believe behind the wet it'll show you somethin'
    behind the wet there's dry, with mountains of lies
    people STILL wonder why, cries lay behind the eyes
    deep sighs ..depression, and I'm lettin' you know that
    once I reign drops, hard work becomes a throw back
    I live for wet, cold, dark & gloomy. My JOB is rain ..
    because when I right, I'm always left with the pain
    the pen stays the same & my name lives in paper ..
    & when the game begins, the real story is the raper
    the sick sadistic man ..the glory beyond all glory
    cuz the only thing worth reading, is a true damn story!
    .
    kick back and relax ..the sun came out today ..
    well, it's just a day ..bad things still happen anyway
    but lets just say, that maybe another way comes
    & lets just say, the sun is only half of the plums ..
    Summer rays upon golden shades, and well ..
    ..a rainy day still comes, once in a blue hell
    but truth to tell, I still think that improvement is bad
    cuz if there was no rapists ..
    ..what NEW hobby would sick & sadistic have?
    It's their fad, & devious minds don't need anything else
    the ones that can't think, just go and kill THEMSELVES
    .
    it rains again, march 29th ..2006, I'm almost defined
    & as for my past? by 2008 the stories are left behind
    except my mind, it still rewards me with more, see ..
    when the rain arrives, so do I. cuz depressions my mourning
    OH! the great depression becomes an adolecent obsession
    my mind is sent in a south, north, east, & west direction ..
    I AM! all over the world, I believe in scornful screams
    ..& death has proven as little as it seems around me
    no happieness, no glee ..no cries nor plea ..I'm grown
    I BLEED today, to say at least, I always been READ on my own
    .
    When it rains it pours, but more so than it did tomorrow ..
    you think I don't know weather? well I CREATED sarrow
    I've seen some stuff, people hit & brutally chopped to bits
    & to tell the truth "HOME DOGS" ..I don't give a lick
    Autumn is the beginning, so dare I fall?
    ..no, THERE I fall ..because not once, I've never had it all
    I am the rain ..for I sleep in sun, he creates the life
    while as it runs in my veins, I kill with the knife ..
    Sometimes I wonder, can I stop it? or just watch it ..
    ..or should i peer into the dead girls golden locket
    she lays in a bush, and I just want a peek ..
    little do I know, inside ..it's parents that I seek
    mother and father, so happy with a daughter, well
    little do they no, her neck was rung, similar to bells
    choked and dead, with wounds to the head ..the bastards
    the lead of my pencil fades, and NEW stories are plastered
    ..where do my stories lay you ask? shall I dare speak ..
    directions all around, mountains ..flat grounds, & peaks
    but too sound to see, it will be only tears ..
    ..cuz here comes another girl in GRAVE danger ..
    which'll soon be the next story .. I fear
    .
    & here lie my stories
    Last edited by Cody Nash; April 9th, 2006 at 07:11 PM

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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  3. #3
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    uhm?? 1st thought tooo long for my liking..tired eyes u see

    see wat i like tho-

    I live for wet, cold, dark & gloomy. My JOB is rain ..
    because when I right, I'm always left with the pain
    the pen stays the same & my name lives in paper ..
    & when the game begins, the real story is the raper

    was good... raper diddnt seem like a nice word...

    but lets just say, that maybe another way comes
    & lets just say, the sun is only half of the plums ..
    nice

    the rest was a good emotional expression still.. had sum elevated rhymes ..well a few as such.. and a lot of basic.. but still workable rhymes..and a couple of forced
    i liked the structure of the last verse still.. the illicitness thrown in here and there was good in my opinion.
    some parts seemed a bit wordy.
    maybe sum more mettphors..tho u did have a few goodies

    neat drop still

    1

  4. #4
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    i liked it it seemed to be pretty well thought out and i like the direction in which you chose to take and a nice structure a consistent dope rhyme scheme just a overrall good piece....not dope but definately good

    7.5/10

  5. #5
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    it rains again, march 29th ..2006, I'm almost defined
    & as for my past? by 2008 the stories are left behind
    except my mind, it still rewards me with more, see ..
    when the rain arrives, so do I. cuz depressions my mourning
    OH! the great depression becomes an adolecent obsession
    my mind is sent in a south, north, east, & west direction ..
    I AM! all over the world, I believe in scornful screams
    ..& death has proven as little as it seems around me
    no happieness, no glee ..no cries nor plea ..I'm grown
    I BLEED today, to say at least, I always been READ on my own
    ^this verse was tight..i felt the rhymes and flow...
    nice imagery and vocab...

    overall the rest of it was really good..felt the emotion
    excellent rhymes and very smooth flow through out
    strucutre was good...vocab and imagery was also very good
    overall this was a good read..keep it up man..peace

  6. #6
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    thank you both ..
    ..back to the mothafuckin top!

  7. #7
    Soule
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    Yo man that was really fucking good. Not just saying that cuz we freidns in real life but that was really good. The vocab was exellent and flow was perfect. I liked the story as well. I love how peeps getting great stroys latly. And i love the straght lined structre. 9/5-10.

    Keep it up aaron.

  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Thank you ..
    ..Take it like a polaroid picture

  9. #9
    Class of 06 Quest.'s Avatar
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    long Om but never the less worth the read......i liked the rhyme scheme and the flow...ALOT! of emotion in this peice and great creativity.....structure was on point as always....my favorite line of the whole thing was this.....

    it rains again, march 29th ..2006, I'm almost defined
    & as for my past? by 2008 the stories are left behind
    except my mind, it still rewards me with more, see ..
    when the rain arrives, so do I. cuz depressions my mourning
    OH! the great depression becomes an adolecent obsession
    my mind is sent in a south, north, east, & west direction ..
    I AM! all over the world, I believe in scornful screams

    shit was hot yo...keep up the good work...great peice good job

  10. #10
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    thanks you ..

  11. #11
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    err ..
    ..straight back

  12. #12
    audio butcha Katch-22's Avatar
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    liked it,
    the first half was very tangable to me.
    i have similar type feelin's at times.
    i thought alotta the wordplay n concept
    was interesting and pretty creative
    overall i think it was a dope drop.

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  13. #13
    Banned DimeBag101's Avatar
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    Genius!
    CREATIVE! I LIKED IT! for once...because i never like anything and also cuz its raining like bitch where im at and im sure you can relate lil homie please keep dropping

  14. #14
    .ExQuisite
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    alright cry,

    well first i want to state-Your emotion was phenomenal..You could expand your vocad slightly but other than that it's a flawless piece...not much to say--good piece

    only tip* Expand ur vocab a bit as stated pre...

    please hit up my OM-an alcoholics disease

  15. #15
    stfu Phate's Avatar
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    First paragraph seemed a lot more metaphorical, where as the others were a bit more strait forward. Maybe thats why the first paragraph came off a little heavy, to me that is.

    The rest flowed really well.

    Dope lines:

    kick back and relax ..the sun came out today ..
    well, it's just a day ..bad things still happen anyway

    It's their fad, & devious minds don't need anything else
    the ones that can't think, just go and kill THEMSELVES


    Hard topic. Well delivered. nice work.
    Studio 21


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