User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: My Heart Is Like Steel

  1. March 27th, 2006, 02:53 PM #1
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7

    My Heart Is Like Steel

    My heart is like steel, it is quite difficult to be broken
    I'm capable of standing harsh situations............
    And i fought through a funeral when the priest had spoken
    The love of my life had left me for a reason.......
    In my mind i can hear her voice over my heavy breathing
    Thinkin about the hurtful things that happened....
    Now I'm takin out my sadness by skillfully rappin..
    Cuz my heart is like steel...I got to keep it real.......
    No body shows pity on me when i'm on the ground hurt
    Blood leaking out of my veins, soaking up my shirt
    I just try to make life more easy, But this is the outcome
    inocently walking sum one shot me, where'd the bullet comefrom?
    No one knows, not even the crime investigators, Oh no!
    I might go loco..but suddenly resist and go back to original
    I keep my anger at the minimal, try not to turn into a criminal
    The only reason why i'm not is becuz my heart is like steel
    Hard to take over or break,no one knows how the fuck i feel
    oh, for goodness sake, God be with me, I feel depressed....
    I'm not crazy, I'm not possessed,I'm just evily blessed.....
    Heart made of steel so it my ego,I stand for justice........
    Like the symbol on the top of the flag, I'm like an eagle...
    People think they understand me, but they dont....
    and they wont, hear me out clearly, obviously......
    People think i have emotional problems, but it dont bother me
    I'm used to it...I just fight back cuz my heart is like steel ...
    So it my spirit...and people keep askin me "how can you bear it?"
    I have a strong heart and it aint gettin any weaker....
    My heart is like steel, why not announce it on the loud speaker??
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. March 27th, 2006, 02:54 PM #2
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=281994
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=281657
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. March 27th, 2006, 04:31 PM #3
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    uppin for feed^^
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. March 27th, 2006, 04:38 PM #4
    Plexus
    Plexus is offline
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Roll Tide
    Age
    36
    Posts
    5,532
    Battle Record
    16-4
    to be honest i wasnt really feelin this that much

    the flow was ok but a lil forced in areas. Your vocab was meh the entire piece was pretty simplistic. You had a few internal rhymes but you it seems liek you dont know how to use them right cuz those seem to be the time when your flow seemed forced. Imagry wasnt really there and there wasnt very much emotion. You take on the topic was very simplistic and i would have liked to see more from you here

    Just keep writing and getting better
    Monster's Ink

    2xOMHoF


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Courtesy of: Elvis Freshly


    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. March 27th, 2006, 04:53 PM #5
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    ok..thanks for the honest feed homie
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. March 28th, 2006, 03:11 PM #6
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    c'mon...uppin 4 feed
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. March 28th, 2006, 05:12 PM #7
    Quest.
    Quest. is offline
    Class of 06 Quest.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    NC
    Age
    37
    Posts
    10,838
    Battle Record
    84-13
    Awards FL Champion 50+ Wins
    ight drop....

    startin off wit the little things....Structure was good and flow was good but it some places seemed forced a little bit....imagery was so so i think u could have put a little bit more into to go along wit the emotion said of the peice...i thought your vocab was good being simplistic at times but still was good....favorite lines i like in this was

    oh, for goodness sake, God be with me, I feel depressed....
    I'm not crazy, I'm not possessed,I'm just evily blessed.....

    also

    I might go loco..but suddenly resist and go back to original
    I keep my anger at the minimal, try not to turn into a criminal

    emotion was felt in both of them lines...good job peace
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. March 28th, 2006, 05:22 PM #8
    Dark_Shadow
    Dark_Shadow is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    The Bronx
    Age
    35
    Posts
    525
    Battle Record
    5-2
    wow...this was really great..
    u used Flawless vocab..
    i piece flowed to a extreme perfection..
    great sense of Imagry...great sense of the feelins or going thru
    not only r u a great Battle Rapper ur also a great Topical Head
    a Perfect 10/10 real good my nigga...real good
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. March 28th, 2006, 05:44 PM #9
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    thanks..i appreciate the feed....i'll hit up your oms when i get a chance
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. March 28th, 2006, 08:19 PM #10
    Soule
    Guest
    Yo man change the font or something cuz the Structre was kinda off. Thw wordplay was nice and flow was right there. As far as Sroty. This is a 9/5-10 OM.
    Keep It Up.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. March 29th, 2006, 05:13 PM #11
    Linex
    Linex is offline
    word to ya moms.
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    ct.
    Posts
    367
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Ok i'ts like this..
    You deffinately have potential man but now you'r like average and boring. I don't mean that in a hate way but this piece was odd and simple. It's like you could really predict what words were coming next and what rhymes were coming up, pieces like that don't make the storyline very interesting, nah mean? Also, like every minute your flow was like getting fucked up, so work on your flow a lil. You should aslo try using some big words to make it interesting, structure was fine even though you dont need great structure to make a piece dope.

    I have a strong heart and it aint gettin any weaker....
    My heart is like steel, why not announce it on the loud speaker??

    ^^Those 2 lines right there i didn't get, lol. What do you mean by that?

    Anyways fix up stuff like that that doesn't make sense. Happy elevation. Pz

    -Linex
    OM HoF x1
    Powerhouse Inc.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. March 29th, 2006, 05:15 PM #12
    Plain-Thug
    Plain-Thug is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,812
    Battle Record
    54-7
    aight..yea i no what ya mean...i've done better in the past

    my other 2 om linkz in my sig are pretty tight..u can check them out too

    thanks for the feed both of ya..i appreicate it....
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. -~* HeArT Of A ThUg*~- (SOMETHIN FROM THA HEART)
    By X'Turn'al in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 29th, 2002, 05:01 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules